How does your partner feel about sex toys

[ReadytoRumble86]

I feel like my partner doesn't like the fact I own a vibrator. He didn't know about it originally until somehow he found it in a bag I had stuffed away (hidden because we have a child). He put it in a place I couldn't reach and proceeded to ask questions like where, when, how often, is it better than sex, can I include it when we get intimate but tbh I've considered it my personal thing. I get his curious but it's the fact he's so adamant and wants to know everything but it made me uncomfortable bringing it up a number of times during that day. I got it back and hid it under then bed where I'm 100% sure he wouldn't find unless he was snooping which yes he found it again and put it back in the place I couldnt reach. So I haven't bothered bringing it up makes me feel a bit demeaning and embarrassed that I have to ask him, he hasn't brought it up either that he's moved it

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That's very childish of him. It's none of his business.

Tell him you can't find it and you'll have to buy some more.

Is it the sex toy itself he has an issue with, or the fact it was 'hidden' from him? You've been together long enough to have a child so maybe he finds it odd that you've kept it secret and feel it's only for you time. You both sound very coy about a sex toy with the hiding it in different places and you not wanting to discuss it or include it in sex, and him being overly curious about you using it solo (but keen to include it in sex).

Wouldn't bother me - provided it was being used to supplement an active sex life, rather than in place of.

I have had a range of reactions. Keen to incorporate in sex, turned on by the thought of me using it, relieved I was using it as took pressure off him. But, I have also had raging fury directed at me. Like I was cheating on him. The fact that I had orgasms with a vibrator but not him was PROOF that I wasn't trying hard enough with him(nothing to do with him not listening to what I liked) the vibrator was a little bigger than his penis so that was PROOF that I wasn't satisfied so I was LYING everytime I said the sex was great. The fact that I had used one in a relationship before meant I was thinking about that ex when I used it now. Using it, horny, on my own was PROOF that I planning on having sex with someone else. And on and on and on.
Every jealous insecurity he had was brought to the front. He never got past the BETRAYAL. Sexual jealousy is one of many reasons he is an ex.
Maybe your bf is experiencing some of his own similar doubts?
Tell your bf straight to his face. You are a red blooded woman and you enjoy pleasuring yourself. Ask him if he masturbates.
It is a tricky subject and I hope he gets over his shock.

Buy loads op. Locked box under your bed... Suggest he fucks off if he has a problem.

DH has no issue with mine. Sometimes he can't quite get me there so we bring in the heavy hitter to finish the job.

Tell him to leave it the fuck alone. Why does he think you need to report to him? Does he tell you every time he wanks over porn? This would honestly hugely piss me off.

This. They can be a fun addition.

Wow. How controlling and childish of him.

Is he controlling like this about other aspects of your life? It's very bizarre and treating you like a child to put something out of your reach like that.

Do you interrogate him about his wanking habits?

I'd get it down, put it back where you had it before and tell him to grow up.

Thanks for the replies, I hid the item because I didn't want my child to come across it. I don't consider it a secret towards my partner its something I'd rather do alone. I didn't feel the need to tell him because of this reason.

@ReadytoRumble86
From a different perspective: How would you feel if he was secretly masturbating?
I get it that it's your own thing. But you have basically kept it a secret.
Would he like to use it in sex play with you?

I can almost guarantee you he probably wanks himself off.
He might even have a fleshlight that he hasn't told you about. 😆

Even in a relationship, you're allowed some privacy and bodily autonomy. Your masturbation habits aren't your partner's business to know if you don't want. It's only relevant if it's having a detrimental effect on your sex life together, ie. you're choosing DIY over sex.

He does and I have no issues with it, no issues with him watching porn and I don't ever quiz him about his private moments

He's asking to incorporate your existing toy into sex, you want to keep it for your own self pleasure. Neither is unreasonable.

Maybe you could get some other toys to use as a couple? Choose them together or buy them as surprises for each other (discuss the idea of that with him first though, rather than just springing a 10 inch mains powered prostate massager on him 😂).

That might take the pressure off the man vs sex toy insecurity that he appears to be struggling with now and spice up your sex life together.

Don't tolerate being interrogated. He’s being weird and intrusive.

What bothers me about your post is that he keeps putting it wherr you cant reach it

Twice now.

Very controlling.

Treating you like a kid he thinks he has the right to have authority and control over.

This is odd behaviour OP.

What you do in your own private time is your own business.

If never dream of interrogating my DP and he me.

Is he controlling/jealous in other ways?

And this.

You don't interfere with and interrogate him about his masturbation habits (and presumably that would include masturbation toys/aids of he used them); where does he get the impression he had the right to do it to you.

As someone said - v intrusive, quite controlling and I really don't like how he keeps "consfiscating" it, like he owns you and your sexuality.

I've always been open to his suggestions and we have brought numerous things together. I suppose this is why it's made me a bit weirded out.

My husband has got a full size sex doll that looks like Dua Lipa, he bought it after finding my stash of four dildos and nine buttplugs

@weekendninja he used to when I went out with friends but he has backed off alot I can't say he does that anymore

If my DH hid my vibrator so I needed to ask him for permission he'd swiftly be told to give it back and fuck off. I'm normally laid back but that's strangely controlling. As it happens, mine knows I have several toys and where to find them. He doesn't monitor their usage.