Ex husband remarried yesterday...

[BrownTed]

OK. Separated a decade ago. She was the OW but, tbh, our marriage was dead - anything he said to her about no sex and sleeping separately had been a truth long before she appeared on the scene. We were both unhappy and he just happened to meet someone and fall in love.

They married yesterday. Our daughter was a bridesmaid and my son (his stepson) also attended. They've v close and he's always been the 'real dad'.

Things are amicable between him and me. Co-parent and appropriately supportive of each other. I've met her a couple of times and it's been civil and 'friendly'. No issues, no problems, no conflict. He and I were school friends/best friends for 10 years before we made the mistake of getting together.

I genuinely wish them well and am happy for them.

So, to the point of my post.

She has shared photos taken at the wedding on fb this morning. As we have a couple of mutual friends, these posts have appeared on my timeline.

There are maybe half a dozen or so photos with my children on. Some group ones, some of my ex, new wife and them, a lovely one of my son and daughter and they look gorgeous.

Would it be appropriate to 'like' them? I don't want to comment, would only like a couple of the children, maybe the one of all four of them.

My intention would be to communicate that I wish them well and the kids look great but, if it's going to be met with, "WTF is she doing liking the wedding photos??" and cause upset rather than, "Oh, look, their mum has liked the pics. That's nice," then I won't.

My partner thinks I should because his ex and he like photos the others have posted of their children (they aren't friends but are both friends with the children). He can't see a problem. Just thought I'd see what the MN consensus is! Thanks.

Yeah that's the thing I'd think if you just liked it with no comment there's bound to be someone taking it the wrong way in a kind of "I've seen this" way.

I'd like it and say something like 'what a gorgeous photo. Congratulations bride & groom the kids had a wonderful day and I hope you did too'. Just 'liking' might look pointed and some people would interpret it as you saying 'mine' about the kids basically. (because they are dicks who can't say direct things themselves).

Yes of course comment. Don't over think it.

Why not? My brothers ex wife liked the photos I added of my brothers wedding and she sent a wedding card via her daughters. She left him, for the man she’s married to now. Both are happier in new marriages

I'd be really pleased if DSD's mum did this when DP and I get married. Either privately messaging or a public "like" on the pics.

I wouldn’t if I wasn’t friends with them on there. I’m friends with my ex on Facebook, we co parent really well so we do like each other’s pictures. He recently commented to congratulate me on the birth of my baby… I like photos of him and his gf, we don’t find it odd. But don’t think I would if we weren’t friends on there

I think I'd maybe message them privately to wish them well and comment on the beautiful photos. If you "liked" then photos, it won't be just them who sees it. So it would depend on how much drama other people are likely to be about it.

I would. I would also do the ❤️ reaction rather than the 👍 to show you mean it.

Why not just send her a message saying now lovely everyone looked at the wedding and how much the children enjoy it.

i’ve never seen the need for public appreciation!

Mmmm not sure what good it would do, especially as you aren't FB friends it could come across as a bit weird tbh.

I really wouldn't, there's a strong chance it could cause irritation. I would just message your ex and say you loved seeing the pictures. What more would be gained from publicly liking them?

I would do a private message and not get involved ‘publicly’

This, they’re literally your children, not hers. She’s posting their pics up on her social media which clearly hasn’t been set to private settings. Of course their mother is going to look

You say you have already wished them well so why the need to do so again on SM? Whose benefit is this for? You say you have already discussed with your children.

I'd do it

I think it's absolutely fine to like the photos and can't see how anyone could be upset by it. It's being supportive.

I think it's very nice to like photos of your own children . I can't see why it would be a problem?

I think it's a bit odd when you're not FB friends. Personally I'd pm.

I think that's a kind gesture.
It's great you are so amicable and don't hold bitter resentment like many women do. That much have created such a healthy life for you and your children!!
Like the posts. I think that's great OP!

I think it fine - your motives are pure ! Liking lovely pictures of your children , appreciating that your son was very much included and wishing them well for the future .
Nothing wrong in that .
Lovely to hear that everyone is happy .

They're pictures of the OP's children that have come up on her feed. How is it odd?

If I was the new wife I'd actually feel very happy to see a like from OP. I don't know how anyone can see a negative in this?

Because if I had been screwing someone else's husband, I would not want to be reminded of her when I married that husband. The OP "liking" anything related to that might be a bit invasive. She's not just a random ex from his past.

It's pretty clear that the OP has no issue with her and everything is amicable. So this take is a bit OTT in my view.

Why can’t you just tell your kids you like the photos? Why do you need to do it on social media for all to see?you’ve already wished them well. You don’t need to do it again for goodness sake.