Apologies if swearing is not permitted in subject lines.
Background: I (27) have a decent-ish paying job, my foot is on the career ladder and I’m constantly looking at ways to self-improve. My husband (28) has not worked properly for around 8 or so years. I support us financially with occasional help from his parents, (who have had an absolute gutsful of it).
We rent a tiny, run down council house which I despise and he has wrecked both of our credit scores. We have zero chance of being able to rent and even less of getting on the property ladder. I am aghast with my situation and completely gutted that this is my lot.
He trained as a plumber after leaving school then was let go from his apprenticeship before finishing his gas safe cert. (In around 2013). Since then he has had a few factory jobs/agency work that has lasted no longer than 1/2 weeks.
He has no motivation for work or self improvement and even less for housework. I have to do virtually everything in the house, I am knackered. He is a good father but extremely “slack”. He forgets things constantly. He is good natured and I do love him. But he is chronically lazy, bad tempered and very self victimizing. It is extremely pathetic to have to watch a man I love in this kind of state. We are really struggling to make ends meet at the moment. I am (redacted) myself about the cost of living crisis and upcoming fuel bills. I really don’t know what we are going to do. I’ve tried every approach, I’ve supported him, advised him, counseled him, cried with him, shamed him, the lot. But somehow we are still in this position. I’ve completely had enough. I can’t bear to admit to people this is our reality, when friends or colleagues ask about him or his work etc I bare faced lie because I would be mortified to admit to anyone what is really going on. It makes me extremely sad. I am heading towards my thirties and I really did not imagine this is what life would be like. If this was another woman telling me this I would advise her to run not walk, but of course i can’t see myself wanting to do that. I don’t even know what I hope to achieve by posting this. I’m not perfect by any means but I care massively about trying to better our situation for the sake of our son.