How many real friends do you have?

[thatrodofyoursisinsane]

By real I mean known a long time, long enough to trust them with your children for instance. The kind you know would be there for you when needed like family would. Ones who have and would unquestioningly support you. A true friend, not an acquaintance. You get the drift, right?

How many of these do you have and how old are you?

You don't have to see them all the time, but I think we can all agree on a "true"/"real" friend?

I'm just curious. I feel very fortunate with how many I have, I'm just curious on whether I'm extremely fortunate or just normal, as it were.

Three that are like sisters and who live nearby so we see eachother very regularly. Then another four who live further away but are still very very close friends.

I'm 47 and we have been friends since our early teens.

That's lovely. All mine I made from 18 and during mid-twenties. I've found it next to impossible to make a friend like this later in life. I'm 40. I'm not trying to, it's just not happened you know?

But I lost touch with best friends from school due to growing apart. Two I met age 16.

I feel so fortunate to have such wonderful friendships like this.

6 who I see regularly. I am aware how lucky I am, and I really cherish those friendships.

Zero. I’m not fussed about it either, I don’t have the energy to maintain a friendship anymore. I have a small, but lovely family with my children (2 of whom are adults) my mum and my brother and I love that

5 really good girlfriends. My best friend is a bloke and I feel that friendship is waning sadly. And I also have a very good relationship with my grown up stepson from a previous relationship which is like a friendship really.

I'm very lucky.

I moved overseas in my late 20s - these are friendships I've mainly made in my late thirties. They started through our kids but then became real friendships in and of themselves.

6 friends
51, 34, 20, 20,18 years of friendship

Plus 2 women relatives

Unfortunately only 2 live local to me.

I am lucky enough to have 5 or 6 (I'm not being definitive because one is theoretically absolutely the kind of friend you describe, but she is a bit flakey and the last few years have been weird). But sadly, only one is local and so our relationships are as strong as ever, but long distance. I do feel lucky that things like WhatsApp and FaceTime make these friendships more present and real than they wouldd have been in the past.

I have a relatively new friend who might well be heading into that category but while we've become very close, I'm still not sure if we're friends for a season or a lifetime.

Yes me too with the later friend I made.
One friend it's been the same since age 16, we chat sporadically and see each other very rarely, less than once a year, and don't chat often at all but she was my bridesmaid and we are lifelong friends. Sounds strange really but it's how we are.

I still have old school friends but my closest are the ones I made in my 30s and 40s. For me personally, it's not about time served. I've got 4 absolute ride or die friends. I feel incredibly fortunate. They are family and love my kids like their own and vice versa. 2 of them in particular held me together when I left my EXH . I always be grateful for that

Not strange at all. One of mine is a university friend. We exchange WhatsApp messages about twice a year and see each other every few years. But the friendship is as close and real as ever. Ditto, another one I've been friends with since I was 16. We don't speak at all except to follow each other on social media.

Either one of them would absolutely be there for me and vice versa (and have been in the past). Both are friends for whom I have gone significantly out of my way to see when an opportunity came up and they would (or have) done the same for me.

Sometimes I miss having easy day to day friends as these ones simply can't be that - you know the ones you text to suggest a spontaneous glass of wine after a crazy week or the ones who are fully aware of how excited you are about your new robot vacuum.... But I've slowly built up local friendships and have also established a regular long distance WhatsApp conversation with another friend. So it's okay.

Currently aged 57 - I have a good friend from early childhood and two from my teens, plus my closest friend whom I met in my 30s.

I always have a suspicion that the second two could manage without me, one in particular.

There are quite a few others as part of a wider group, but they are less significant.

Two good friends. Enough for me.

I don't feel like I can properly answer this for many reasons. So I'll probably just waffle on...

I'm 50 - If I had answered this question 8 years ago my answer would be quite different, and I suppose different again 8 years before that! I'm definitely in the market for having more local friends but not sure I really need or want more super close friendships and there are definitely some character traits that I'm not very tolerant of at all now. I miss having a local 'group' like I did. I've got three emerging friendships at the moment (neighbours/lady from Pilates), in addition to a couple of longer term ones, and I know I need to make more effort to move that on.

I met up yesterday with a local friend who I've known for 10+ years - but I don't really trust her now so it feel superficial, even though we have been very close at times - I very much doubt I will feel as close to her as I once did or even want to see her as much as I once did. Sadly, I feel that my 30 year friendship with a uni friend has become xmas cards only - we've just lived too far apart for too many years and have less and less in common.

One absolute true lifelong friend - we currently live 2.5 hrs away from each other but fairly regularly meet in the middle/talk on the phone/go to each others town.

I've got another friend who I basically never see but we write to each other and have long deep phone conversations every so often (I definitely feel like I can share things with her I wouldn't share with anyone else - including the one I referenced above as closest friend, which is odd I guess). I think now our kids are older teens that might change though (we're 5 hrs apart) but it is good how it is so maybe not. Then a few other long distance friends I am much less close to.

I've got colleagues that I would actually say I am friends with but...I still keep some distance due to being colleagues and as I see them so much at work I don't really see them outside of work very often at all, and don't want to change that really.

I haven't stayed in the same place (lived in 5 parts of the UK all a significant distance away from each other) and neither have a lot of my friends. My local tribe has really changed a lot in the last 5 years - two emigrating to AUS for a start! I've come off social media too, which has made it all more realistic.

So, my answer is either one or ten depending on how I look at it. I just know it isn't where I want it to be (and I should really make more effort) in terms of local friends.

I have one friend from school who I'm still close with, but only actually see once or twice a year and tect maybe monthly; one from university who I WhatsApp more or less daily, and see as often as we can (generally only every other month); and then a gang of about a dozen ladies who I've become friends with over the last 15 years or so, from nursery and school drop offs. One or two of them are close, but most aren't, I enjoy their company immensely and most I dare say I could ask a favour of and them me.
I've never been very good at maintaining friendships, the ones that stick are worth the effort though.

None.

3 of my friends and I have known each other since nursery, so we were around 3 or 4 years old. We went through school together and have remained friends for 35 years. I have another 2 who I've known for 30 ish years.

If it's going on who could babysit the dcs only 1.

There's no one I could run to if DP hit me etc.

I do have about 5 I tell personal stuff to, meet up with occasionally.

I wish I could have a friend I could see weekly and be that touchstone instead of dp but I've just never had a really close friendship since I moved out of houses shares at uni.

About five really close ones, and then about five who are in the next circle put, iykwim. I'm very fortunate. It's hard to believe when I think about how unpopular I was as a child.

Three and a lovely hubby 😊

One. And she lives a long way away. We message each other quite a bit but haven’t seen each other for probably about 3 years now.

I have one group where there are 9 of us. We all went to school together and still go on holiday together every year, we’ve known eachother for 25+ years

i then have another 2 friends, sisters, who I’ve known since we were kids, so again another 20 years plus

i have so many true king standing friends, I don’t let many newcomers in easily. I have another excellent friend, but only known her for around 5 years, but think she’ll become one of the lifers

i always wonder how people get on in life without a network of true friends (mine are all girlfriends too)

3 from my childhood that I’d know would drop everything and drive 250 miles this evening if I needed them urgently if something awful happened (and they all offered the day my dad died). I’d also do the same for them. We are all 45/46 and went to primary & secondary school together. I moved down south 21yrs ago, but still go back to my home town most school holidays so we have stayed close. 1 I’m not as close to now, but I know she would come if I needed her, 1 I’m closer to now as adults and class her as my best friend, but love all of them like a sister.

i do also have some good friends more locally, but not in the same league, but still a few who would come if I needed them. I do put a lot of effort into maintaining friendships with people

Lots, but as I always say on these threads, there are different friends that I do different things with. So, most of my oldest friends I wouldn't leave the dc with (unless there were an emergency when I was visiting them) as my school friends / longest standing friends all live all over the country.
If you are talking about leaving dc with someone for a few hours, that would likely come from people who had similar age dc, as they have the energy, and health to do that, not because they are a better friend than the retired couple. They will also have someone for my dc to play with, and stuff for them to play with.
But if you are talking about someone I could go to who would have time and patience to listen to an issue and wisdom to give me some good advice, then I probably wouldn't go to a young parent who was as busy as I am.
Or if you are talking about 'who I might ask to come on holiday with me' then it would be someone whose circumstances suited that.
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