My BIL is a very 'tricky character' as his mum would say, over the past 15 odd years he's gone through a string of relationships that have ended very poorly.
We have supported some of his ex's over the years and know that he has been emotionally and financially abusive. I personally believe he is purposefully targeting vulnerable women to fund his ongoing opioid addiction (the addiction is a fact - the targeting more of a grey area).
To the best of my knowledge he has never been physically abusive but has taken £1000s from each woman, forced them to sign expensive car leases, lend him money, moving into their house as a cocklodger etc. He has done this by destroying their confidence and through a web of lies (eg. he doesn't live with his elderly mum... she lives with him etc) as well as manipulating them (threatening suicide etc.).
As you can imagine we don't see eye to eye but we know all about his goings on through DHs mum and see him when our paths cross at her house. MIL loves him dearly and is terrified of losing him to either an OD or suicide, she believes he's any minute away from turning his life around.
Now to our current issue...
There's a new woman in his life. We've looked at her social media and for the first time there's young children involved (including a baby!). Me and DH have young children of a similar age and it looks to us like she's recently separated from her partner.
His classic 'take out loans to wine and dine and look wealthy' wooing technique is in full swing. He's asked us (DH, children, me and rest of family) out to dinner next week to meet her AND her children, the thought of sitting at a table and looking this woman in the eyes makes me feel sick.
Should someone warn her of the impending shit storm rolling into her and her children's lives? Or should I keep my nose out of other people's business? How would I even do it, DH would support either way but MIL would be furious if she found out we got involved.