Is this a red flag?

[pollyloo]

Iv been seeing a man for 6 months we met on tinder 🙊
He is lovely an we get on really well , laugh constant. We have had a few arguments early on but always been resolved, we both said we love each other after about 4months it's been very intense quite quickly which is fine we are long distance so I think this has added to it, however today he has had his son who's 5, and he has been throwing tantrums BF has called him a little cunt multiple times a few times on message and then once on voice note. It's really not sat right with me my children drive me mad and I lose my rag but I wouldn't even called them cunts?! I really see a future with this man but this is screaming red flag to me, what's everyone else's opinions please?

Horrible

Leave and tell him why. Hope he will then think about how he treats his child.

Yes it's a huge red flag.

I'd even go so far as to contact the mother and tell her, that poor little lad.

Exactly what I was going to say. I've got a male friend that would use cunt the way I would use "pain in the ass"

After a hard day with dc I'd refer to them as a pain in the ass to my close family & friends. Would never say it in front of dc though

Awful. I was once completely shocked when someone I know referred to their unborn daughter as a 'little bitch'. I think this may be worse. Sorry to say it OP - but leave this man without a second thought.

Yes bin

Is there anything you can do to protect this child. Tell a parent or a grandparent? A teacher?anyone?

what you describe is awful, a little boy crying and a father calling him a cunt. Someone who can protect The child needs to know.

Let’s imagine we are trying to give him the benefit of the doubt - it’s only a word - perhaps a word he says a lot which has no real meaning to him, etc etc.

Thing is, he must still know how harsh and strong a word it is. He wouldn’t say it at all in a number of situations, would he? And yet here he is saying it about his very young son. At the absolute best, it shows that he lacks judgement. It shows frustration and irritation with his little boy that he’s not even attempting to hide.

I think the reason most people on here are a bit shocked is because that word is generally used freely by people who are gobby and not very bright when it comes to working out what’s appropriate. So that’s what your partner sounds like when he repeatedly calls him a cunt in general conversation. Gobby, not very bright and unpleasant about his little boy.

You don’t think like him. You don’t think it’s okay to call children cunts, even if someone swears a lot and bandies that word around all the time. So your views on how to speak about children are polar opposites. Perhaps the fact that he’s not raging in anger or saying it directly to his child makes a difference to you and makes it less bad. But I think your gut instinct is right and he sounds unpleasant.

Also, not sure if I read it right but if the little boy was crying and could actually hear his dad calling him a cunt to you on the phone then I think that’s very serious - verbal abuse - and I wouldn’t go anywhere near him again.