This is a bit long but I want to give background
So me and DD (6) have been alone for a while. I recently came out which being in my late 20s felt like I was turning up to the party when everyone else had done the mingling and getting to know you part. Did the online dating thing which was horrid but then met a lovely woman through a new friend from a course I was studying in the evenings. We took things slow. Built a frienship and a solid relationship I thought. It was a bit of a revelation for me having such strong feelings for someone, I had played at 'being in love' before but this was just something else. Something real. She is a couple years older than me. I was immediately attracted to her. A sharp sense of humour, very intelligent, steady job, just adulting really well which is a change of pace in my life. Just about everything I could have dreamed of. Not put off by my late coming out, lack of experience or my DD. Cherry on the cake actually that she was great with her, one minute she is this dependable presence in my life helping with mundane stuff I have always wanted and the next she is sitting on the floor playing games with DD and conspiring with her to talk me into ice cream before dinner. DD and I moved in with her and I felt my life was starting in a new brilliant direction.
Sounds great right? I thought so too. But then I met her friend group.
We went for dinner and it...it was eye opening. Her friends were very welcoming at first but there was also a sort of disbelief that my OH had a steady gf and one with a kid. Even more shocked we had moved in with her. There were a lot of comments about how domestic it seemed and how I wasn't what they ever expected their friend to go for. OH I could tell was uncomfortable and annoyed by it and was very sweet saying it just took meeting the right woman. More talk followed and as the drinks flowed my OHs friends began talking about the OH's past. It became apparent that being 'experienced' and 'worldly' would be an understatements for OH...I had no idea. It became quite clear that her friends were confused by her 'settling' for me because I am, well, I admit I am a bit repressed and introverted, probably why it took so long to come out.
When we got home I started asking questions about her past relationships and sexual experiences. When we had done this earlier in our relationship she had said she had only had one serious relationship and a few casual things. Turns out she left out a lit of details, like all of the one night stands, casual FWBs, sex clubs, and other various things. OH got very defensive and eventually snapped, said that there wasn't a kink or sexual combination she hasn't at least tried. I have been very self conscious about the difference in our level of experience, but this just made it seem worse. Some of the things her friends implied and talked about, they make me very uncomfortable and I now doubt if being with me can ever be enough for her. I'm never going to be anything but vanilla. Coming out felt daring and I still struggle to feel okay with accepting the things I desire.
OH says all of that was in her past. That she was lashing out because of her family's rejection and that her sexual exploits were more about hurting herself and proving she could do anything she wanted when she was struggling to know herself. I just don't know if I can believe it. If I can look at her the same again and trust that what we have is enough. I feel so self-conscious and afraid that I am boring her. Also, a small part of me I hate to admit to is worried how people will look at me if my OH has this sort of reputation. Do they think I am now doing some of the things she has done or that she has settled for me?
I am just so confused and questioning everything about our relationship now. What else was she hiding? Am I and my domestic little life really enough for her? Can I trust her when she says we are?