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Original poster

I have no right to be jealous do I? (I ended it with her)

74 replies

doorsfloors · 22/09/2022 14:31

3 years ago I was seeing a woman (same sex) and I will hold my hands up and say I messed her around,at the time I was going through some rubbish and didn't treat her great.
She would always come back and she was a decent person.
Anyway I ended it (whatever it was )and told her I had met someone and told her not to contact me again..she sent me a text saying that I didn't care who I hurt (probably right in that moment)

Fast forward 3 years I've found out shes in a relationship and has been for 1 1/2 years (the joys of Facebook )
And I feel jealous
I think I always thought she would be there and at the time I think I knew how hurt she would be knowing I had a new gf but didn't care (as I say head was a mess)

Why do I feel like this now?
I know I have no right but I got a shock when I seen
She lives with her,scrolling through fb they are on holiday in Greece,they go away every few months for weekends and I honestly think she's moved on.

OP posts:
CalamityClam · 22/09/2022 14:34

Of course she’s moved on.
you were a twat. She got over you.

MessyBunPersonified · 22/09/2022 14:37

Your back up plan/emotional punchbag has moved on and is happy, as she deserves to be.

You're right, you have no right to be jealous. Maybe best block her on social media so you stop torturing yourself.

ElizabethSchuyler · 22/09/2022 14:38

You pretty much got what you deserved.

Ormally · 22/09/2022 14:40

Step away from Facebook.
She's in a long term relationship and the last 3 years have been very weird for most people. Paths have really diverged away from each other and individuals' experiences have been really different by comparison to pre-2020.
It's easy to look on that time with rose tinted glasses (although I would guess she isn't going to be doing that), but you need to realise that's what is happening.

PBizzle · 22/09/2022 14:41

Oh, good for her.

Fightingbackwithhappiness · 22/09/2022 14:42

She’s moved on. Try to be happy for her and ask yourself what is it I need to take away from this? If you need a bit of time to grieve the loss of this relationship, take it. After that, move on and try to find some happiness. Good luck 🤞

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 22/09/2022 14:43

When you typed all that out did you reflect on the fact that it makes you look like a very selfish and entitled person? I wonder if you regret that and want to change?

MustardCress · 22/09/2022 14:43

MessyBunPersonified · 22/09/2022 14:37

Your back up plan/emotional punchbag has moved on and is happy, as she deserves to be.

You're right, you have no right to be jealous. Maybe best block her on social media so you stop torturing yourself.

Yes this.

I would think about finding some therapy to work through your issues and focus on making a happier future for yourself.

CandyLeBonBon · 22/09/2022 14:44

Hah! You sound like my ex! Do sone work on yourself, find out why you treated your ex so badly and aim to do better going forwards. Not much else you can do!

ToFindNewWays · 22/09/2022 14:44

Great news for her.

Maybe at the back of your mind you thought that a more emotionally evolved version of you would have been able to build a happy relationship with her, and it hurts to relinquish that idea?

Original poster
doorsfloors · 22/09/2022 14:53

I'm open when I see I messed her around
I have a wife now and we have been together 2 years in December ...so it's not like I'm single and moping.
I just have a jealous feeling and don't have a clue why

OP posts:
PlainOldMe80 · 22/09/2022 14:55

So basically you treated her like shit, she done as she told (as in not contacting you) you told her you met someone else and your upset she moved on? Well good on her! Actions face consequences 🙄

wut · 22/09/2022 15:07

Jesus Christ. You've got a wife and you're fbook stalking the woman you messed about?

Feel sorry for your wife

wut · 22/09/2022 15:08

But it's all ok cause you're honest about being a dickhead 🙄

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 22/09/2022 15:09

Oh dear, I hope your wife doesn't find out you've been stalking your ex on FB...in fact, I hope she does, she deserves better!

nancydroo · 22/09/2022 15:10

Maybe that bad feeling you are getting is not jealousy but because you are already in a relationship and your looking at an ex's fb. Guilt. Be kind to yourself and stop looking.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/09/2022 15:15

doorsfloors · 22/09/2022 14:53

I'm open when I see I messed her around
I have a wife now and we have been together 2 years in December ...so it's not like I'm single and moping.
I just have a jealous feeling and don't have a clue why

That was a hell of a drip feed.

Sort your shit out. Really.

Original poster
doorsfloors · 22/09/2022 15:18

We have mutual friends and her name popped up so obviously curiosity got the better of me.

OP posts:
ToFindNewWays · 22/09/2022 15:28

You don’t have a clue because you lack self awareness and self reflection maybe?

Have you given much thought to how you relate to people in general, where your emotional patterns stem from, what your childhood was like? Taking responsibility for how you affect others comes from understanding your own issues. It can be enlightening and support current relationships.

BecauseICan22 · 22/09/2022 15:33

doorsfloors · 22/09/2022 14:53

I'm open when I see I messed her around
I have a wife now and we have been together 2 years in December ...so it's not like I'm single and moping.
I just have a jealous feeling and don't have a clue why

Your poor wife, that your thoughts are being consumed by an ex that you treated like shit and you're sat there feeling jealous of her life and sorry for yourself.

How utterly sad.

Work out what's wrong in your marriage that you're clearly not happy and leave your ex alone.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/09/2022 15:34

You actually believe this woman should still be pining for you. You're not jealous, you feel slighted. Fucking hell, this is genuinely one of the most self-absorbed posts I've ever read. Absolutely no self awareness whatsoever.

PicturesOfDogs · 22/09/2022 15:41

You sound shocked that she has managed to get over you

You seem to view yourself as some sort of prize, if you cared about her you’d be happy she’s happy.
Concentrate on your own life

ShaneTwane · 22/09/2022 15:43

What the fuck?

You left her for someone else.

Its been some time and you have married (the same person you left her for?!)

Shes moved on and is happy leading a good life with her new partner

You actually have the audacity to be shocked and jealous that she has moved on and is happy?!

Agapornis · 22/09/2022 15:45

Get therapy, fuckboi.

Iwantachange · 22/09/2022 17:50

Tell me ypu are a narcissist without telling me you are a narcissist....