I have no right to be jealous do I? (I ended it with her)

[doorsfloors]

3 years ago I was seeing a woman (same sex) and I will hold my hands up and say I messed her around,at the time I was going through some rubbish and didn't treat her great.
She would always come back and she was a decent person.
Anyway I ended it (whatever it was )and told her I had met someone and told her not to contact me again..she sent me a text saying that I didn't care who I hurt (probably right in that moment)

Fast forward 3 years I've found out shes in a relationship and has been for 1 1/2 years (the joys of Facebook )
And I feel jealous
I think I always thought she would be there and at the time I think I knew how hurt she would be knowing I had a new gf but didn't care (as I say head was a mess)

Why do I feel like this now?
I know I have no right but I got a shock when I seen
She lives with her,scrolling through fb they are on holiday in Greece,they go away every few months for weekends and I honestly think she's moved on.

Also, in case it needs spelling out, she's not responsible whatsoever for your feelings of jealousy or guilt or anything. Not even slightly. She doesn't even think of them. They are all yours to work through, sorry.

So maybe this is me feeling guilty ?
For how I treated her not jealousy?

I don't think you have learned anything. The more you post the more you sound narcissistic. You need to take a serious look at yourself and get therapy.

It reads like you thought she was so into you you relished she’d wait and your nose is out of joint realising you really got the wrong end of the stick and she’s moved on snd doesn’t care.

Like I say my ego thought she wouldn't get over me (I can hear how that sounds)
And back then it made me feel good knowing she knew I had moved on and she hadn't

You really don't sound like a nice person at all. You keep trying to say that you have learnt from the way you behaved but that is not coming across in your posts at all.

I have learnt from previous mistakes.
Just celebrated my 40th and knew it was the right time to settle down and change my ways (which i have )

God what an awful awful thing to think. You haven’t changed your ways as you are not ashamed of your behaviour and delighted she’s moved on and found happiness.

shes moved on, she got over you fast, time for you to do the same.

Getting married is not the same thing as learning from your previous mistakes

What you have said on here makes it clear you are still stuck in a very negative mindset and could really do with some professional help to understand why you feel like you do, why you behave like you do and how you can work to improve these behaviors

Actively trying to improve is learning from your previous mistakes

🤮

That's horrible.

Didn't you write a few posts ago that you've changed? Sounds like you haven't changed at all! Feel sorry for your wife 😞

You sound like a narcissist. Sorry. Look at NPD. Not that you’ll ever admit to it….

You need therapy, or you will keep damaging the relationships you have, and the people that are unlucky enough to cross paths with you.

You sound like a narcissist. Your wife has no idea that you’re so tied up thinking about your ex. Your ex has no idea that you’re stalking her FB trying to judge her relationship/life/happiness.

Seriously. Get a grip. You sound arrogant, unpleasant and completely self absorbed

Oh dear this isn't giving a great impression of you

Sounds to me (gay woman, not that it makes any difference) you're still pining for her. Do you see the wife you now have as your rebound and way of making the ex jealous? Perhaps you secretly wish you were the one with her now.

If not then yep sounds like she was the classic back up plan, lesbian relationships are incredibly intense (bloody hormones!) It does sound like your ego needed to take a hit though.

If it was a reverse would you sit around waiting on the off chance or would you live your life and be happy? In all honesty you don't sound overly happy in your current marriage if you are spending time pondering all this.

It must be so galling though, to know she never felt what you thought she did, that she moved on so fast and is so happy now, living with her partner, all their holidays. And you fell for it. It must feel awful. But some people have that ability , to make you feel you’re the only one. Don’t feel bad about yourself. Many people get taken in.

im glad you found someone. Dont stew on it. Yes she saw you over, it happens to lots of people.

“Like I say my ego thought she wouldn't get over me (I can hear how that sounds)
And back then it made me feel good knowing she knew I had moved on and she hadn't”

Gosh, OP. You sound very cruel. You know this is not how emotionally healthy people would feel, don’t you.

Maybe this is more about the way you behaved. Is it guilt? Do you wish you had apologised. Maybe it’s wistful - what could of been. She is happy. Maybe your not? Maybe you need some therapy to consider your thoughts and feelings related to that time?

Because you are a narcissist? Why not wonder instead what made you treat another person this way?

This…

Absolutely no self awareness whatsoever

And this….

Sort your shit out. Really

This

Ya think???🙄

Ya think? 🙄🙄

This & you've suddenly realised that you've totally fucked up.