Hello all,
I have posted before about this but now thinking I need to do something (but also wondering if I'm just being paranoid).
A little bit of history...
I left a long marriage 2 years ago. Nothing wrong with him or me but the marriage was sexless (a long time), lacked affection/intimacy, lacked connection and just stale. I eventually snapped. I feel bad about it but know, deep down, I have done the right thing.
I'm 50 btw and still told I'm attractive - even the women at work tell me.
Anyway, I'm pretty lonely at home. My eldest lives with his dad mainly (he is over 18) and the youngest is at her peak, awkward teenage years so she avoids me a lot and stays in her room. I work in a senior manager role in a very stressful environment with insufficient staff.
I started with OLD a while ago just to see if I could meet someone. Most have just been after a shag and when I wouldn't give they suddenly went silent or deleted me. Then I came across this guy. Lives in the same part of the UK but 35 miles north. We started chatting on Tinder and that went on a while before we moved to WhatsApp.
Anyway, we get on quite well and we both are at similar levels on our jobs. He, however has never married or had children. He is close to his sisters and their children which is lovely as they seem to be a very close family from what I'm picking up. He'll send me photos of the family and explain who is who and what they're doing in life etc. Unlike him, which is why my loneliness is bad, I don't have any family apart from my children. My parents and brother are RIP. I feel completely alone and, since I announced my divorce, my friends also seem to avoid me out of awkwardness.
The man in question is interesting, intelligent and well spoken. We share a lot of the same views on life etc. He doesn't ever seem to get sexual though. I do think he's a bit shy in that area but my husband was like a dead fish in that area and I don't want the same. We'd been chatting daily for a few months but we eventually met up a few weeks ago and spent a day in a city - park walk, lunch etc. We sat in his car afterwards a bit when he brought me back to my car. Chatted, listened to music. That's it. He never made a move on me at all. He was very polite tbh. And, I enjoyed the day. It was actually nice to be with a man who was enjoying my company rather than staring at my body etc. Anyway, I decided to kiss him when it was time to go and wow - he was passionate! He actually blushed when I got hold of his hand after I asked him if he liked that. We kissed for a good half hour which was lovely but I left it at that (obviously).
When I got home he messaged immediately to say he'd really enjoyed the day. He said he'd wanted to approach me but he thought I hadn't wanted to. He said he wanted to meet again.
However, he is so busy with his job (he ends up writing reports at home) and works shifts so opposite to my core hours role. I've said to him to let me know when he wants to do something and still nothing. But, he continues to message me daily. He doesn't phone me either.
I don't think there is anything dodgy going on. He does seem like a really polite man. I actually said to him last week that he didn't seem that interested in me. He asked what made me say that. I said he hardly says much and hadn't said anything about arranging another date. He just said he's enjoying getting to know me and wants to take it slowly plus we're both busy in FT jobs. He has told me was too cautious about getting married and regrets it.
I've decided to let him go next weekend if he makes no attempt to make time for me as this doesn't sit right with me.
I'm not being unreasonable am I?