Need to admit to this and can’t do in real life

[Nirag]

I wish one of my parents would be unwell or die. Together they are so unbearably toxic. I can’t have one relationship with one of them, it’s just a relationship with then both and they treat me horribly.

I know the solution is NC but it’s not that easy, I wouldn’t mentally cope with that though I realise it works for many.

I think all the time if something happened to one of them that finally there would be no toxic unit and they would be individuals.

IDK how this popped up in my discussion thread but I wanted to give you a hug... It's from me, someone who was raised by a narc mother who spent my childhood telling me my natural father was abusive (she claimed that about all her exs) and kept me away from him. By the time I knew the truth, he was dead...

NC is the easier way to deal with it though, you can forget they existed. Which is preferable to maintaining contact and hoping they will die imo