Hmmmm I think dh is hiding a large purchase from me

[WiggyClawsThe2nd]

Does anyone know if a new laptop that is delivered would have any paperwork with it. One has arrived today and dh claims it was a gift and that the money for it hasn't come from the household budget. However there is no paperwork with it at all which is making me really suspicious that he's fibbing. Surely it would at least come with a dispatch note? If not an invoice showing that it's been paid for? Can anyone set my mind at ease?

We had 5 iPads delivered at work without any paper work - I think it’s more and more common for invoices and paperwork to be emailed rather than included now? Can you see joint finances/ access his email?

No chance of that unfortunately. So the laptop might have just come in a cardboard box with nothing else? He claims a relative messaged him today to say it would be here today so I'm planning to ask if I can see the message and watch his reaction. The thing is, this relative is really short of money atm so I'm really doubting this handy story.

You can get a laptop on a phone contract. Do you have access to that? Joint account or anything? Anyway you need the truth.

Jesus I couldn't be arsed with this type of relationship.

Jesus I couldn't be arsed with this type of relationship.

This

If he’s paid for it out of the household budget, that’s where the purchase will show up. Don’t you have access to all the accounts that he could have paid for it from?

As others have said, printed invoices and shipping notes included in packages, appear to be a thing of the past.

OP, I see you have posted twice about this now. Are you abroad or is this keeping you up?

Trying to be gentle here, but if the latter is the case, you need to get to the bottom of the real issues here. This isn't any way to live.

Two issues to address here :

1. Sort out access to your online finances! (easy)
2. Reflect on why there is a lack of trust in your relationship (not so easy)

Just look at the joint account?
If its come from his personal spends then thafs fine but I'd wonder why he was lying.
It does seem an unusual gift.

Not sure paperwork is the issue here. Do you not have access to the household account (s)? Who is he suggesting has given him the gift?

I responded to your other thread. Apple products come with no paperwork. It tends to all be done by e mail.

Would it matter if he had bought a laptop from his own money? Does your DH fear an overreaction from you if he buys something he needs? We don't know the dynamic in your relationship to know if this is odd or not.

Mystery solved, he took out a loan. Am peed off he would do this without talking to me. Grrrrr

Never mind the loan when money is tight. The lying is unacceptable

Lying and taking out a loan without your knowledge. I would not be at all impressed.

Financial abuse takes many different forms OP.

Send it back. I would

I wish I could send it back. Currently holed up in bedroom with Covid and far too much time to think.
Cloverforever I fear you may have a point.