Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Would you still date someone if you hated their voice?!

89 replies

CapturedLeprechaun · 13/09/2022 18:48

I've been messaging a man for almost a week, due to meet this weekend. His profile pics are attractive. He has excellent communication skills and seems nice.

But he just voicenoted me, and has a voice like David Beckham. Sort of high pitched and sounds like has no brain cells there (even though his written chat is excellent).

My vagina shrivelled up when I heard the voicenote. I don't think I can go on a date with him. Would you cancel a date over something so petty?!

OP posts:
HMSSophia · 14/09/2022 09:03

Absolutely not. Shallow of me I'm sure. But voice is so so important

Beingadiv · 14/09/2022 09:04

Aww I'm really hoping this one goes well! David Beckham's voice isn't too bad, his lovely smile makes up for it being a bit squeaky, hopefully this bloke will be the same.

I've come across a couple of absolute deal breakers, voice wise. One very high pitched, like a child, but in person he had spidery little hands and almost killed a cyclist in his ridiculous huge range rover, neither of which helped me get over the voice. The second was actually lovely but had done some very amateurish sounding voice modulation to cover up a non-British accent. He sounded like the queen mother.

Rasin · 14/09/2022 09:16

“He sounded like the queen mother.” properly laughing over that. 😂

MelodyPondsMum · 14/09/2022 09:18

I wouldn't judge someone's voice from a recording so I think you should go on a date to hear it in RL. But if you still hate his voice, then drop him. Voices are very important.

Rasin · 14/09/2022 09:22

Oh and it’s not just the squeaky voices that wind me up, I was on the train and there was an American lad with a deep booming voice. It was 5 notches louder than his pals. As annoying as fuck. I had to move.

gannett · 14/09/2022 09:23

Well you haven't even gone on one date yet so you can end it for whatever reason you like, you don't owe him anything but politeness.

I wouldn't judge anyone's voice on a phone message! Not sure it's reflective of what people sound like IRL.

I'm quite insecure about my own voice and I always used to hope it wouldn't be a turn-off, so reading this sort of thing doesn't make me feel great. But if it's really so intolerable, sure, end it, no point continuing.

MrsU2022 · 14/09/2022 09:24

isthismylifenow · 14/09/2022 08:57

I hate my own voice on a voice note and think I sound completely different.

Let's hope this is very much the case here....

Ditto!

He could be the love of your life for all you know...I'd at least go and meet him in person!

Opaljewel · 14/09/2022 09:25

No I wouldn't date a man with a voice I didn't like. If I'm dating them that's the least I want to sound nice.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 14/09/2022 09:27

I couldn't get past a really awful voice. But firstly I don't consider David Beckham's voice THAT bad, and secondly I would meet him and talk at length in person, because some people just have an unfortunate telephone voice, especially if they are nervous.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 14/09/2022 09:29

I hate my own voice on a voice note and think I sound completely different.

Me too - I sound like a total dick, and I have to believe I don't sound like that all the time (please God).

Lovetogarden2022 · 14/09/2022 09:29

This made me laugh! Yeah it would be a deal breaker for me - there are certain accents and pitches which just go straight through me and I couldn't live with them. It would do my head in lol

forgotoldusername · 14/09/2022 09:30

I had a date at the beginning of the year. Guy was incredibly successful, classically good looking, I saw him and I thought "swoon". Then he opened his mouth - was like Donald Duck, for a moment I thought he was making it up.

Anyway I stayed for a drink, he suggested getting another one. By the end of the date, his voice had become less important. But the thing is I had met someone I liked more and just wanted to meet this man because his texting was really good and thoughtful etc. my short answer is: give him a chance!

Foxgluv · 14/09/2022 09:33

I did, for too long. He turned out to be a big bit of a p*ick too, there's that to consider as a possibility.
His voice became uglier as his ugly personality revealed itself. I bumped into him recently. We had a short chat. I can still feel it gnawing at my ears 👂

This guy in the other hand, could be great 👍

NighghtmareNeighbour · 14/09/2022 09:37

Good luck op. Hopefully he was just so nervous about speaking to you he went all high pitched in panic🤷‍♀️🤞

Berlinlover · 14/09/2022 09:43

I’d give him a chance, you may get used to his voice.

catandcoffee · 14/09/2022 10:25

yes....imagine having to listen to his voice for hours on a date.

mondaytosunday · 14/09/2022 10:34

While I don't think Beckham's voice is bad I do think the sound is important in a potential partner.
I remember a friend and me travelling from Paris by train/ferry/train in our early 20s. There was a stunningly attractive man doing the same journey and we ended up making sure we sat near him at each point of the journey. Then ticket guy comes along and they had a brief chat - OMG instant ick! His voice was nothing like the deep, french accented treacle we expected, but too high and a bit whiny (he couldn't find his ticket). After that we couldn't care less where we sat. And I kinda fell in love with my first boyfriend because of his lovely voice.

BCBird · 14/09/2022 10:42

I think it would be a good idea to meet face to face as his voice may be totally different in person. You have said he ticks many of the boxes. Also as for him.single that could be due to many reasons: choice or circumstance.
If you don't meet you will no doubt keep thinking about what it would have been like- not good.

Babdoc · 14/09/2022 10:49

It’s said that men fall in love through their eyes, while women fall in love through their ears. It would be a deal breaker for me. I loved my late DH’s sexy voice, and would have been v put off if he had sounded squeaky or gormless.
Good luck with your date, OP - you can only hope he sounds better in real life than over the phone!

TammyOne · 14/09/2022 10:52

On the flip side, I have tended to date men with sexy voices… and stupidly overlooked soooo many other flaws!

LemonDrop22 · 14/09/2022 11:44

Babdoc · 14/09/2022 10:49

It’s said that men fall in love through their eyes, while women fall in love through their ears. It would be a deal breaker for me. I loved my late DH’s sexy voice, and would have been v put off if he had sounded squeaky or gormless.
Good luck with your date, OP - you can only hope he sounds better in real life than over the phone!

That must be why so many good looking men struggle to find partners.

🤔

thecatsarecrazy · 14/09/2022 21:46

Happened to me a few months back, we were messaging for a week. His pictures were nice, looked my type tattoos, manly. Then he phoned me and I was completely put off. Voice didn't match up and I think he was pissed. I never met him.

hewouldwouldnthe · 14/09/2022 21:51

You sound so shallow, do him a favour and don't contact him again

70billionthnamechange · 14/09/2022 22:29

Might have accidentally made tue voice note 2x faster, I've done that. Freaky AF

Jewel7 · 14/09/2022 22:57

I would be put off but would need face to face date first and not judge the voice note personally…