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Original poster

Would you still date someone if you hated their voice?!

89 replies

CapturedLeprechaun · 13/09/2022 18:48

I've been messaging a man for almost a week, due to meet this weekend. His profile pics are attractive. He has excellent communication skills and seems nice.

But he just voicenoted me, and has a voice like David Beckham. Sort of high pitched and sounds like has no brain cells there (even though his written chat is excellent).

My vagina shrivelled up when I heard the voicenote. I don't think I can go on a date with him. Would you cancel a date over something so petty?!

OP posts:
itsnotmeitsdefinitelyyou · 13/09/2022 19:42

Antarcticant · 13/09/2022 19:34

I'm not sure. Years ago, I sat near a woman on another team at work whom I didn't know at all, and she had a voice that really grated on me - like nails down a blackboard.

She was later moved into my team and I got to know her and found she was a really nice person, and it suddenly dawned on me that I no longer found her voice annoying. So I think you can get used to these things, or learn to tolerate them in people you like.

This. Exactly this.

Give him a chance, everything else about him might just completely blow you away and the voice (other than during a bit fat argument far in the future!) might just pale into insignificance.

I don't know why, but I'm rooting for HIM!

BiscuitLover3678 · 13/09/2022 19:44

I think try it because people can sound different when not in person. You never know, it might sound more natural and you might feel differently! It seems a bit sad to give up so soon. Good men are hard to find.

BiscuitLover3678 · 13/09/2022 19:45

TheHorrorOfIt · 13/09/2022 18:55

It would be a deal breaker for me too. I just couldn’t listen to them with any empathy if I hated their voice!

But from a voice note?

ThisisCollie2022 · 13/09/2022 19:46

His dick might shrivel up hearing your voice too! Send him a voice note back ;)

ganvough · 13/09/2022 20:32

Actually I once had a date with a guy who had a really odd voice when I met him. Really turned me off but I decided to stay for a drink as the conversation was nice. Not sure how but I really fancied him a few hours later as he turned out to be pretty cool. Dated for a few months. And his voice never annoyed me again.

But this is because he was in front of me so I got to notice other things about him. I wouldn't have bothered to carry on if it was on a call.

But then, I have a weird accent and always worry it may put guys off me if they only hear it before meeting me! So maybe in hindsight I'd meet the person before writing them off.

MyStarBoy · 13/09/2022 20:35

In my book an hour away is nothing.

I would definitely go based on his other qualities/strong points and then make a judgement.

Like other people have said up-thread, what you don't like/notice at this stage can become completely irrelevant once you get to know them and potentially full in love with them.

OrangeFlowersAreLovely · 13/09/2022 20:45

Hey OP... imagine the sexy talk in the bedroom when he's all turned on?

Sorry 🤣

figtrees · 13/09/2022 22:51

Years ago, almost 2 decades in fact, I saw the hottest guy in a night club. We had been glancing at eachother all night, I wondered if he would come over to speak to me.

I went outside for some fresh air (which was just a cigarette really.) And he followed.

When his mouth opened I just died inside, his voice was awful. I slunk off back inside to my friends and never spoke of it again!

Don't do it op.

Original poster
CapturedLeprechaun · 13/09/2022 22:55

Ok fuck it, I decided no phone call (I hate them anyway), and I'll go on the date this weekend, and I'll let you know what it's like in person 😂

And for the poster that said maybe he'd find my voice a turn off, I have the most beautiful dulcet tones and have done many voice notes, so this isn't a concern 😆

OP posts:
EarthSight · 13/09/2022 23:37

If you want him for a longterm partner, remember you might be hearing that voice for this rest of yourself. His looks will probably change a lot more than his voice as well.

londonlass71 · 13/09/2022 23:41

Jconnais1chansonquivavsenerver · 13/09/2022 18:53

I'm afraid I would. Voices can be very seductive - or not! Look at the silent movie stars whose careers went down the drain once "talkies" started.

🤣🤣🤣

goldfinchonthelawn · 13/09/2022 23:58

I dated a really handsome man a few times. But his squeaky voice really grated and I couldn't get past it. A friend married a man with such an ugly voice I couldn't bear to invite them over. Everything he said sounded rasping and furious even though he was quite a nice man.

jokingfox · 14/09/2022 00:50

No I wouldn't. I would probably imagine that voice when in an argument where it would irritate me even more.

mycatisannoying · 14/09/2022 00:51

Oh, it's such a shame because he sounds lovely. But I definitely couldn't do it either, OP.

BecauseICan22 · 14/09/2022 01:32

Definitely not. I'd go for the date. Voice notes aren't always accurate and sitting across from someone listening to them and watching their mannerisms at the same time is very different.

According to you he's got a lot of pluses. Don't be judgmental, go on the date.

Pixiedust1234 · 14/09/2022 02:52

Try one date. Voices sound different over the phone/recorded so you don't know his real voice yet. Do a coffee date as these tend to be shorter.

Monty27 · 14/09/2022 02:56

Ah come on we know voicenote acoustics are rubbish. I can't understand half of what people are saying on them.
Enjoy your date hopefully his real voice is lush.
😀

cottonbrain49 · 14/09/2022 03:45

I'd wait to see what his voice is like in person. A sexy voice though is incredibly appealing. I could listen to DHs voice and accent all day long. He could be reading a phone book, if they still existed and I'd still listen to him.

Fraaahnces · 14/09/2022 03:49

David Beckham springs to mind

hattie43 · 14/09/2022 05:26

I would . Voice is very important and you have to hear it a lot

MincedMalbec · 14/09/2022 07:55

Can we get an update after the date please!! I'm invested in this now!!

Danceswithwhippets · 14/09/2022 08:40

A man's viewpoint here.

Yes, voices can be very important.

I once went had a relationship with a woman with the loveliest, most seductive, voice you could imagine, she was an amateur singer and a contralto. She had trained as a voice and language therapist, and when working as such was once told by a concerned East End mother to make sure that one of her young patients didn't end up speaking posh like her! When I knew her she was a life coach, often working on the phone and Skype, and the sound of her voice made me want to whisk her off to the bedroom.

But I later met a woman OLD whose voice put me off badly when we spoke on the phone for the first time, it was light and shrill. But we did meet up (and her voice clearly was not an issue as we spent the next 2 nights together after the first date) and ended up in a long relationship.

I've done a lot of OLD in my time, and yes a grating voice on that first phone call can be a penis-shriveller. But then although I'm a native English speaker I'm not British, and I have no doubt that my accent has put off women in the past. Chacun a son gout, I guess.

My suggestion to the OP would be to perhaps have a video-call rather than risk a long drive for a bad date. He seems to tick lots of boxes, so don't write him off -what if He Is The One?!

Please report back!

Arenanewbie · 14/09/2022 08:52

I would meet up in person. Voices are so different over phone. I know I’m absolutely terrible myself. I also know a few people who are seductive sounding over phone but nothing like that in real life.

isthismylifenow · 14/09/2022 08:57

I hate my own voice on a voice note and think I sound completely different.

Let's hope this is very much the case here....

Rasin · 14/09/2022 09:02

I’d probably go on a date.

BUT I did date someone with a Beckham voice. I stuck with it for a month. I was 21. I just couldn’t date him any further. I couldn’t get past “the voice”.

I know I shouldn’t say this… but he also had a teeeeny knob. I don’t know if the two are related.

But, let’s just say that I expect those underpants ads that beckham did contained rolled up socks. Or the equivalent.
Blush

Then again, I had a mum friend with a stupid baby voice. I used to find that really off putting too. Then again, the voice suited her: she had a car with a “powered by fairy dust” sticker, and everything about her and her girls was pink, pink, pink. There’s more to a person than their voice, but if you’re already getting the “ick” then life is too short, someone else may just love his voice (just like “pink’s” husband loved hers).