‘There’s three of us in this marriage isn’t there’…. My mum

[Aneulao]

My mum would say this to me as a child… ie annoyed that I apparently came between her and my dad by being annoying or tantrums or whatever else. I didn’t have a particularly close bond with my dad, it was probably a closer bond with my mum actually.

there was a lot of weird stuff she said and did … another that she could never choose between me or dad. Stuff you’d just not admit to a child.

is this odd or just a silly comment I shouldn’t be remembering all these years later ..

Yes it's odd
No wonder you remember...

My mum very obviously loved/loves my dad more than me. Made it very clear growing up. I'd never pass such insecurities on to my own children.

Really inappropriate of her to put you in that position as a child. That's awful and no wonder you remember it. A child shouldn't ever be made to feel like they're impacting their parents' relationship at all, it's the parents' job to be adults and keep emotional boundaries around that sort of thing.

My mum was the same and massively resented me and my siblings 'coming between' her and our dad. Was a very difficult and destructive dynamic

She sounded extremely emotionally immature and could not grasp that yes, of course a child requires a lot of time, energy and emotional capital but that this is not some sort of threat to or competition for the romantic relationship between the parents. Yes, there were three of you but that's the nature of building a family. It was up to her and your dad to put boundaries and effort in place to maintain their own relationship, that wasn't your responsibility in the least. They chose to have kids so it was theirs. It was inappropriate. Maybe they felt.strained as a lot of couples do who have small children but by saying that in earshot she made it about you personally.

Are you of an age where she would have heard Princess Diana saying that on TV and repeated it without thinking it through properly?

Were you an only child OP?

It was a very wrong thing to say. Like she felt you were competition, because you are female.

Did she also put down other women? Was she very possessive of your dad?

My mum did so and its left me without real female friendships until I got into my 40s and started reassessing things.

another that she could never choose between me or dad

Idiotic thing to say to a child. What a great way to make them feel insecure.