How to get an an abusive boyfriend out of your house

[Nickwinkle]

I've had enough. 4 hours sat in the rain yesterday after walking out of my house just to get away from the screaming has pushed me over the edge.

I need to get him away and I don't know how. He's upstairs, I don't want to speak to him or see him and I'm worried how he'll react if I tell him to leave.

I have no friends nearby and I have no family. I don't have anyone that could come support me. I feel trapped and I'm scared.

@Nickwinkle
www.met.police.uk/contact/how-to-make-a-silent-999-call/

this works
call them now. Get that abusive bastard out and get a locksmith there when the police arrive

if he kicks off he’s likely to be arrested and detained.

you can’t live like this love

fullfact.org/online/999-call-police-silent-solution/

thia explains it a bit better and what happens

Everything your talking about is irrelevant. You need to reach out to the police who will put in touch with the correct people to support you through this process. He isn't on the mortgage so it should be easy!

Just out of interest, has he been paying a reasonable amount to stay there? His sort of behaviour always seems to coincide with someone thinking their partner should pay for everything

My friend went to get a loaf of bread when the police wanted to speak to her after I had told them a few things her bloke had done. (No worse than yours)

You can report it to GMP online now today www.gmp.police.uk/ro/report/domestic-abuse/a1/report-domestic-abuse/

You need to speak to the police,tell them you're scared and the threats he's made.Tell them you need him to leave but you're terrified he'll become violent.

You can contact the police through their online portal. You can write everything down. You don't need to risk a phone call.

The police will take you seriously. Chuck a few items in a bag in case you need to stay in a hotel. If they think they have enough to arrest him, he will be given police bail once questioned with conditions attached eg. not to come within a certain distance. I have personal experience of this. I was given a panic alarm for home and also one to take out with me.

Violent or not, it's your home, you're not married, you don't want him in there and he won't leave. If you're too scared of him to give him a deadline date to be out, phone the police, tell them this and they will make him leave

Can you record him on your phone if you feel you need evidence of his shouting or gaslighting for the police etc to believe you. You are right in wanting to get him out and end the relationship and he needs help to deal with PTSD or similar from his military time. It doesn’t excuse his behaviour towards you

Yes

Do this

Fck him he is awful

Get the bastard out

He has threatened to kill you

I promise police will take this very seriously
I have been there

My excuse when I was trapped in the house is we needed milk for our 1 year old. I knew he wouldn’t go so I went alone with the kids. Called the police on the way there and got some help.

We didn’t even need milk I tipped ours down the sink and put it back in the fridge, made sure to get it out when he was in the kitchen.

Can you pretend to nip to the shops then call police?

I had a similar problem many years ago. My approach was to wait until he was out at work and then pack his stuff and leave it somewhere fairly secure (the garage). I then got the locks changed so he couldn't get back in to the house. I was too scared to stay in the house so stayed with a friend nearby for a few days - he didn't know where I was but at least I could pop back during the following days to check he had taken everything. I moved back in once the dust had settled.

Police now. X

I think I would pretend all was fine for tonight, even be apologetic, then contact Women's Aid as soon as safe. Then I would make a plan to get your pets to a safe place temporarily, in case of repercussions, until you can get him out.
Thank goodness it's your place!
Good luck.

Either call the police when he is out or go to the nearest police station and ask their advice. Get on their radar. You never know, a chat from them might make your dp start behaving more like a human being.

Continue with selling your house. At the very least it means he has to leave.

I echo other people saying call women's aid. They've about loads of different types of abuse and they helped me. Call xxxxx

Absolutely contact women's aid and the police. Go to the nearest police station if you need to.

Please phone the police and tell them he’s refusing to leave/has threatened you and you want him out. Does he come home at the same time every day? So they can be there? Can you take the door key off him without him noticing?

How are you doing?

Op punching doors and furniture is physical abuse. Physical abuse is not just battery.
Threats to kill is a very serious form of domestic abuse and is taken very seriously.
Shouting and screaming is emotional abuse and all the other stuff is coercion and control and is taken very seriously by domestic abuse services and police.

I was an idva and the worst, highest risk and most scary case I have ever worked on, the perp had never once been directly physically violent to the victim. It doesn't matter. People will believe you and help you.

When safe to do so please contact the police and explain what you have here.

There is a way out and you don't have to live in fear.

Good luck.

PP are correct OP. Assault does not involve putting your hands on someone, it's about making them fearful that you'll put your hands on them. Punching holes in walls and smashing things up is assault because the intention is to scare and intimidate you.