Fuming my boyfriend has bought me a cat

[Banana2079]

I absolutely love and adore cats but I have one already and live in a very small home

boyfriend brought home a 16 week bengal cross kitten last night as a surprise and am fuming

cost him £150

firstly 16 weeks for me personally, is too old for a kitten between 10-12 weeks is better I’ve had cats and many kittens all my life and I prefer this age as easier to socialise them the way I want

secondly she is absolutely terrified and extremely timid . He didn’t even bother to go look at the litter and see the kittens with their mum, usually I would go for the most confident. He bought poor kitten from back of a car . Have spent hours trying to coax her from under the bed , she has spent the evening scrambling around the house in terror

(obviously I know it takes a lot of time for a kitten to settle in new environment ) my other cat is livid that I’ve shut him in my daughters room

but now I’m starting to feel increasingly angry at him, esp as I can’t afford another pet and the fact he spent 150 on what is basically a mongrel cat - no such breed as bengal cross they are either bengal or not .

the person he bought it from is refusing the kitten back and I feel shit to readvertise this poor cat it’s been through enough , other option is a shelter but again , traumatising
what do I bloody do

We're after a new cat. Where are you?

This is horrible - the poor kitten being treated as a commodity. Please make sure the kitten is rehomed responsibly.

This is awful but hopefully a new home can be found for the kitten.

As to your boyfriend he has shown a considerable lack of responsibility and poor judgement. I think the kitten’s origins are questionable too. Was it from a private house or the back of a car? Perhaps he thought he was doing a nice thing for you but he has made such a mistake. Hopefully he realises this…..

Have you told him how wrong it is to buy a cat out of the back of a car? It could have been a stolen cat (funny how they couldn't sell it from their house, and that they're now "going away"). If it was a stolen pet, that would explain its behaviour in your house. And told him why it's a terrible idea to buy someone a pet as a "surprise"?
Sounds like the least worst option is to rehome it via a reputable rescue.

*But a half Bengal is half Bengal. I think I get what your saying as in it's not a cockapoo or 'desired' breed/ cross breed, but aside from doing cat shows or just showing off, a half Bengal will still have some or many of the breed specific temperaments and needs. ie, needs more climbing, exercise, stimulation, enjoy swimming.

Just because it doesn't have the same market value as a full breed doesn't mean it isn't what it is, which is half Bengal. It was definitely sold at moggy prices anyway*

No you're absolutely right, I was just being snobby! My friend with the Bengal cross has struggled with some of the characteristics and temperament stuff you have mentioned that is absolutely typical of bengals.

Sorry the first bit was meant to be in bold

Why are trying to sort out his mess! I agree, your bf has shit for brains.

No decent vet would put a perfectly healthy kitten to sleep just because you asked them to. You monster.

OP, if you decide to keep the kitten it will soon grow in confidence and settle in. However as others have said the Bengal temperament, although loving and people oriented, can be quite challenging as they have big personalities and need a lot of stimulation. If you decide this is more than you can cope with then please contact one of the many rescue centres like Animal Samaritans or Cats Protection where all future owners are carefully vetted. Please don't sell the cat on Gum tree or similar, it has obviously come from suspect owners already, and as others have suggested may well be stolen. Your boyfriend has been very foolish, obviously no one should ever buy a live pet as a 'surprise' but l hope he realises this now. If not, then l'd say you have another decision to make!

Rescues are overrun with cats, and only going to worsen as more and more people discard their pets. It’s a problem for your boyfriend to solve, his non-thought out phenomenally stupid choices mean he’s now a designer cat owner, or, he can figure out who to give it to.

Don’t allow him to try to get you to solve his problem for him, this will help him think in future ‘is this a good idea?’ before potentially making more stupid choices.

Ffs. Just when you think you have seen it all on here. What a disgusting piece of advice. You should be ashamed

If your kitten is vaccinated they might be chipped.
If she's stolen then she might already have an alert sent to the MicroChip register .
Worth checking ( and check if the vaccine certifucate is legit )

I’d give it back to the breeder for free. Prob get rid of the bf too.

Money aside - do you actually want another at? Do you have the time and energy to have two pets?

If yes, have a serious discussion with your boyfriend and say while you appreciate the gesture it wasn't well thought out and you can't afford to keep the cat.

Do you live together? If not, can he keep the cat?

I wouldn't even entertain the idea of returning to the breeder - clearly they are not a proper breeder. I'd look at seeing if a rescue or no kill shelter can help.

Do you live with the bf? Can he take it home?

eh! kitty will come out eventually. I know i dont spend much more on kitty 4 than i did 1-3! as far as a timid cat, My 3rd cat Chloe decker dragoon didnt come out from under my dresser for 3 months. I would just sit across the room and read to her. We read moby dick, the complete tales of poe and withering heights before she decided I was ok enough to sniff. Shes still shy but now comes running when we call her nickname. It can get better!

That doesn't sound like dodgy breeder, more someone whose cat got out one night.

Might be worth having the cat scanned for a microchip.

My god your all kinds of nasty 😡

What did I just read!?!

From a purely practical point of view, no vet would pts a perfectly healthy animal just on the owner's say so. Thankfully.

Give it back to the breeder for half of what he paid.

I have a very practical view that anyone in the human race who could come out with a comment like yours should be put to sleep! Don't worry though, it's for your own good!

Sorry that should have been to @PermanentTemporary

What kind of irresponsible idiot buys a cat from the back of a car?
Contact a rescue and get the poor thing rehomed. Dump the bf. I couldn't be with someone who behaves like this.

Why would a vet put down a perfectly healthy kitten for no reason other than “i dont want it”? This is actually illegal in my country and a vet would lose their license.

Just stepping in briefly to apologise, I shouldn't have posted those things. Hope you find a solution that works for you all.