Please help me write a "divorce" letter to my sister

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I wrote about it the other day, but after a massive fallout (that she has since apologised but that's by the by) I just want to go separate ways from my sister. I don't hate her, but I think my life would be better if I never had to see her again. Unfortunately we still have to manage our parents' estate which is the main tricky part about this. Any help in what to put in said letter is really welcome.

Totally agree

i’d get a solicitor and leave this mess to them
whatever you do don’t write to her in any capacity

But your mother colluded in this fraud and by association you're perpetuating the fraud so maybe considered just as guilty as her. Please seek independent legal advice.

Have you ever seen the good fight an American series. It's on Amazon prime just now. It's a chilling wake up call. My father tried to involve us decades ago in his business, I took his books to an independent accountant friend for advice who told me to run . Thankfully we did so didn't have to deal with the inevitable fall out with HMRC

I think your sister is the least of your problems in this, potentially. It all sounds as dodgy as hell and agree with PPs that you need a solicitor sooner not later.

If it's in your name, just sell it surely. Pay for your father's lawyers out of it if you feel that's what's right (I mean I don't know if he's innocent or up for triple homicide so you know, judgement call your end!) and then keep the rest in trust until he's released. Then split it four ways.

Don’t write her a letter, it’s not necessary. Just lessen contact until you are down to almost nothing. Don’t fall out, just be boring and unavailable. Otherwise she could make life difficult. My dh’s parents died and his sibling has made administering the estate a nightmare. It’s still going 18 months later. I’m convinced that sibling just bins stuff meant for signing.

What is she being stubborn about?

Yes I could just sell it. And keep the money or do whatever I think it's best. Nothing really stops me apart of questioning if it's the morally correct thing to do. My sister has never wanted to stop contact even though I made it quite clear I wanted it to stop 13 years ago (almost to today).

Was the business put into your name to stop it being taken off your father for proceeds of crime? It certainly sounds that way. He’s been in prison 20 years and you want to use the money to get him out - what on earth crime did he commit?
20 years ago, financial institutions worked very differently from how they do now. If you sell the business and try to hand over any money back to your DF, it will be flagged up by the banks. There will be a lot of explaining to do and a lot of tax to pay.
You still haven’t said why your sister doesn’t agree with you. What do YOU want to do with your parent’s assets and what does SHE want to do with them?

No, no my father's fall out with the law was when I was 17 I think. He only went to prison last year. My sister believes the business fully belongs to my dad. I think it's either 50/50 (mum + dad) or split into 4 because quite frankly he didn't make our lives any easier (I see that division as compensation for putting the business in my name and all the possible fallout with the taxman).

Not what you asked but you need urgent advise on this arrangement about the house. Look up Gift with Reservation of Benefit (GROB).

Also sort out the business issue now, it'll only be a headache latter.

To answer your question don't send a letter. It's unnecessary.

Writing a letter to say what you want it to say is an unpleasant thing. There is no good way to say that you want someone out of your life as much as possible.

My advice is not to write such a letter, it’s unnecessarily cruel.

If you want a transaction-only relationship which is civil, just ignore all messages unless they’re about the asset management and be civil in those you reply to.

You definitely need a solicitor.

Surely if they "put the business in your name" that means it's actually now yours. So you can sell it and leave it to the dogs home if that's what you want.
You need to understand it that's actually true and it is legally yours or not.

Emotional letters are a red herring here. Deal with the actual problems and then you don't have to bother them again.

Do you mean she "believes" as in she doesn't know he's given it to you?

I'm not suprised she's pissed off with you. Either she knows has been cut out of her parents business in your favour, or she doesn't even know it yet.

I fully and legally own the business. Everybody knows about, and always have.

You own the business. You have done for decades. You don't have to split it anyways at all, and you certainly don't have to give her a thing. Why not just remind her of that and tell her to leave you alone if she wants to see a cent from the business sale?

So for twenty years the business has been in your name. So you have done the following I presume

Filed tax returns, paid VAT, corporation tax. National insurance, paid wages, pensions, your accountant has got you to sign off on all this. Your Bank business manager has called you in for the annual chat. Because your name is on every account

You've paid all energy bills, commercial rates, insurance policies. The fire service have signed off on your premises periodically.

To be fair, if a family business has been put entirely in one sibling's name, any other siblings are bound to be upset, surely?

It's one thing if a lone sibling actually runs the business and has for decades. But that doesn't seem to be the case here. If the business is worth a lot of money, the one sibling, in law, will get the lot, the other, nothing. And for no reason other than to save tax or whatever.

It's in a commodate (to my mother) so all taxes are filed by her etc... But I could eventually still be liable. Although the lawyers have told it should be ok.

But I could eventually still be liable. Although the lawyers have told it should be ok.

With a ringing endorsement like that, you can sleep easy. 🙄

Do yourself the biggest favour of your life and get your own solicitor.

She could be annoyed about it, but if she is she'd never admit to it as she's always said the only real "owner" is our father. She's absolutely never liked my take that I'm now an adult and for better or for worse they put it in my name, so I can ultimately decide what's best (which would never be keeping the money anyway).

Whose lawyers have said that "It should be Ok" ??

Putting "the business" in your teenagers sole name to protect it from a parents "imminent" prosecution and imprisonment (that eventually happened decades later) is not normal, unless of course your family are the Sopranos.

It is clear as day your father's imprisonment relates to some sort of financial wrongdoing (otherwise why would the business be at risk?) and although as a teen you probably had little control, as an adult you should be trying to extricate yourself from this grubby mess.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commodate#:~:text=A%20commodate%20(commodatum)%2C%20also,individual%20after%20a%20certain%20time.

Well your sister is going to be disappointed because it all reverts back to your parents anyway.

The commodate if from ME to my parents. I give them "free use" of MY property for them to run a business.

To be fair to your sister it does sound like you want to keep at least some of the proceeds. Surely you should just give the proceeds to your Mother assuming she is still married ( missed it if you already said confirmed whether they are still married). I'm not surprised your sister has questioned your motives.