Please help me write a "divorce" letter to my sister

[Namechangefail123]

I wrote about it the other day, but after a massive fallout (that she has since apologised but that's by the by) I just want to go separate ways from my sister. I don't hate her, but I think my life would be better if I never had to see her again. Unfortunately we still have to manage our parents' estate which is the main tricky part about this. Any help in what to put in said letter is really welcome.

Don't bother there is no point.

Do the absolute minimum that involves her and cease to answer an texts or contact that isn't estate related.

Do not sell your property to settle up with her, that is not your responsibility.

Just stop responding and avoid her at costs.

Don't respond to your mother mentioning her either.

Any letter writing will increase drama.

With people who like drama 100% silence denys the oxygen and is most effective.

Why would you do that? Your mum is alive. As is your dad There is no inheritance yet?

Just stop doing this to yourself. Trying to fix something that simply isn't broken yet! Tell her to shut up, stop asking for something that does not yet exist. And then leave her messages unread, unanswered. You don't have to play her game.

Put yourself first. Find your anger and use it well!

Wholeheartedly agree.
Say what you like, say what you think, whatever you do, don't put it in ink.

Well my DM doesn't want to leave a will so there's that.

Your problem is your parents doing

The estate is my parents' doing, that's 100% accurate. The lack of relationship not so sure. As a PP I simply don't like my sister and if we were strangers I'm sure we wouldn't be friends at all. That's I think completely independent from my parents way of raising us. Our personalities are just completely incompatible and I've always asked to be as distant as possible (both literally and metaphorically) but family has always pushed us (and my sister) to try to have a relationship. I don't have many happy memories for the past 15+ years. Only arguments and conflict..

You don't have to get on with your siblings. It might be a societal 'norm' to be friendly but I know many who don't (myself included). I just don't get why you'd want to write a letter. It seems attention seeking and churlish to me. Surely just withdrawing from any relationship would be more effective

If I were to receive a 'divorce' letter from my sister or brother, I'd think WTAF and assume they'd lost the plot and probably have a good laugh at their apparently inflated ego

A naff, dramatic letter is a terrible, terrible idea. Anything you put in writing will only be used against you later on. Given how far away you live from each other, keeping her out of your life will not be a problem.

They're not dead. If they go into care their assets will be used to pay for this. They could get through hundreds of thousands between them.

So you're both jumping the gun here

The letter is more to explain that I don't hate her, just that we're very different people and that we can't have a "standard" sisterly relationship, but that there's obviously some unfinished business and that we should try to be as civil as possible

The problem is that my parents don't have anything in their names, and the family business sale is imminent and that has to be sorted out in the next 12 months or so..

You've had some really good advice on here, reflect on it.

So the fallout has been because the family business has to be sold as my father needs the money to pay for lawyers to get out of prison. As mentioned, said business is in my name. My DM has always said that my father has always thought of splitting into 4. My sister has said, that is not true and that my mother is just being manipulative. As it's in my name, I see myself as the guardian if the business and quite frankly feel uneasy as nobody seems to be in agreement. I also said that ultimately it's in my name for better or for worse and that I'll do whatever I think is best/ or that I can see is the right thing to do. Then my sister called a thief and a money grabber. That does need to be sorted in the next 12 months and does require for both of us to be involved.

Okay so there's nothing in their name so presumably you and sister will receive the monies from the sale. Well there will be investigation by HMRC when that amount of funds hits a Bank account the Bank, will have to report it.

I think you need independent legal advice to protect yourself to be honest. I wouldn't let my parents do this.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11169669/Boston-grandma-82-fined-2-1MILLION-IRS-failing-report-4-2M-Swiss-bank-account.html

Read this @Namechangefail123 your parents aren't as clever as government servants

The tax/legal sides have been more or less sorted, but there's no agreement in how the money should be split

www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/paying-for-care/paying-for-a-care-home/deprivation-of-assets/

Including deprivation of assets @Namechangefail123

Then you split it 50/50.
Or the money goes to your parents.

Then when they are both dead you split what's left 50/50.
And if you don't get along, dont see each other.

Who cares what your sister calls you, do what you think is fair with regards to the business and walk away. Grey rock your parents when they mention your sister.

That. It will only be used against you.

Do not write any letter to your sister, no good will ever come of it. If the business has to be sold to pay legal bills then it doesn't matter what the theoretical split might have been. Just make the sale and pay the bills and keep any remainder left to help your parents in other ways while they are still alive, and ignore your sister's hyperbole.

Assets that are in your name are legally your property. Obviously as you are a good and decent person you are acting as if your parents still had ownership, but if you are the legal owner then no one else's opinion matters.

But if you keep any assets that originally belonged to your parents as solely for their benefit while they live, and split equally between their children once they pass, you will be totally blameless and anyone complaining will be rightly recognized as a nutter.

Honestly your parents scare me they've played fast and loose with the law for two decades. I wouldn't be worried about them but myself. They could leave the country. I hope you're not trusting their legal team to protect you. YOU ARE NOT THEIR client

Yes my parents quite frankly did quite dodgy things in the name of "protecting our assets". Which is partly why I 2qnt to get rid of that burden ASAP. I only have a duty of care to my DM.

Writing your sister a dramatic letter sounds like a good way to capture in writing everything you know about your parents' dodgy dealings and place yourself in legal jeapordy.

You don't need to write your sister a letter, but you do need a solicitor. This whole situation has disaster written all over it.