How to relate to a woman who I think fancies DH

[jogonupthathill]

I know people might say don't stress it but I'm starting to get a bit anxious about how to relate to this woman.
Long story short, a woman who walks her dog at the same time we walk our dog.
I believe she's worked out the days DH walks the dog alone as she's always in the same vicinity at the same time when DH is alone, but never see her now when we are walking the dog together.
I think my problem started the first time I saw her she seemed over-familiar towards DH, like they had met before. They hadn't. I could tell from what he said to her about our dog.
From observing the way she is, I basically think she fancies him (sorry, not a stealth boast).
I've been thinking about arranging it so that I'm with him on a day he normally does the walk alone but how should I relate to her?

Makes you feel anxious about what? Do you think she's trying to steal your life or something? Is going to break into your house and try on your wedding dress? What are you anxious about?

You are insecure. If you weren't none of this would bother you.

What do you mean?

When you say dog walking community what does that actually look like?

Dh and I walk out dig a mix of together, solo, and at different times so I would notice if my husband suddenly started having solo walks with a female, and I would feel creeped out myself if a bloke just started always being there when I was in my own trying ti walk the same route as me and behaving like he knows me well, it genuinely would creep me out and i think I'd feel a bit wtf, if a woman started doing that to dh. Her not be worr

But, when you say "dog walking community" and how they'd gossip it sounds different to what people do here and just have a cursory "morning, shit weather isn't it?" Or a "there's a lot of broken glass down that path, be careful" People don't really bump into each other and then do the whole walk together or stand chatting for ages and I couldn't tell you the first name or the marital status of most of the people we bump into, which actually isn't very many.

What you're describing sounds like a lot of owners all being friendly with each other and walking together or meeting at park at same time and he's turning up with her and spending the whole walk with her?

It sounds like it's your dhs behaviour you want to suss out deep down. Another way of looking at it is, would dh feel the same and be as keen if it was a male behaving the same way with you, or even with himself. If he'd feel unsettled if a man was timing things to get you or him alone for walks would he use the same reasoning if the bloke is just being friendly and so what if he fancies him or you?

It's a mixture @SmackAttack as there are some who we know better than others. I find that it's regular random meetings while out dog-walking, which leads to familiarity with the dog, and then the owner, which then leads to possibly arranging meet-ups. But there's no official community, just random meet-ups which are rare.
If DH happens to meet a walker we know well on route he might walk part of the way with them.
If the situation had been reversed and DH and I had met a man for the first time and then the same man was always in the same area at the same time only on the days I did the solo walk, I think DH might tease me that the man had arranged to be there to bump into me. Only if I went on to say that the man's behaviour worried me, or that he was getting familiar, would DH then become worried and might accompany me on those days.

@jogonupthathill
But your DH has not said he’s uncomfortable, has he?
Do you think she’s going to harm him?
The situation with imaginary random bloke is absolutely not the same as a woman talking to a man, unless you think your DH will harm her.
You still have not said what she said or did that makes you anxious or to think that she spoke to him like she already knew him.
Seriously, either say what it is that she’s done or admit that you think he fancies her, which is actually much more likely to cause anxiety.
Does he cheat with everyone he speaks to?

You should befriend her

Join him on the walk, find a reason to use the words “my husband” a few times until she gets the message. Eg “oh, how do you know my husband?”

If she excludes you from the conversation, interrupt it and take it over.

But do warn your DH first or he’ll think you’re very odd.

If you trust him then it matters not how she acts, he's a grown man he can tell her he isn't single. It doesn't sound particularly like she necessarily fancies him though.

😂

It’d be funny if this woman didn’t already have a partner - right? @jogonupthathill
You just don’t like her is my best guess..
You’ve imagined gossip and Chinese whispers but literally nothing has happened.
Unless you hope he does have an affair…

I think you need to get some perspective.
Unless your H is ravishing ( in which case you must be used to dealing with women fancying him) most women are not going round altering their schedules to bump into him, convincing themselves you are just his casual girlfriend, and gearing up to steal him away.
There's a remote possibility you've met one who is, but frankly, the odds are against it.
In the highly unlikely event this is the case, as a grown man I'm sure your H is capable of giving her the necessary message (and if he's not, you have another problem.)
So, what do you do? Absolutely nothing. Smile and say good morning and walk on by. If she engages your H in conversation and ignores you, he should wind up the conversation and walk on by. If he encourages her, then you have another problem and can cross that bridge when you come to it.

This thread is weirdly paranoid. Boy, I'm glad I don't have a dog.
Surely even if she does fancy your dh, if you trust him it doesn't matter? If she makes any moves he'll just shut her down and she'll end up feeling embarrassed. Dh used to have a friend whose wife clearly fancied him. We found it highly amusing and would secretly laugh at her flirting. I trusted dh so for me it was quite comical. You clearly don't trust your husband or this woman wouldn't even be an issue. And perhaps if you actually spoke to him about your insecurities, he would consider dog walking at a different time on a different route.

Crikey, OP. This is definitely a ‘you’ problem. OP. I can’t see that anyone has done anything wrong here.

You’ve said that you’re not jealous or insecure, but you absolutely come across that way. Do you feel like this about anything else? You need to work on yourself rather than focussing in this non-issue before you make it an issue with your attitude and behaviour.

Also, although you said it’s not you, I’m not convinced you’re not the poster who wrote an almost identical OP recently.

Does your H wear a wedding ring?
If he does his relationship status is visible on his finger for all the dog walkers to see.

You say dog walkers gossip, yet you don't know her relationship status or the relationship status of the other walkers with a similar dog to yours. So do they gossip really? Because if they do they would surely mention you as The Wife.

You are trying to convince yourself she has been stalking your car but wouldn't look for a wedding ring on a finger?

You never know if you bumped into her with her partner you might think "oh he's lovely she would never risk losing him for my lump of H". Also if she wanted to jump your husband's bones why would she tell him she had a partner?

None of this makes any rational sense, OP you are driving yourself crazy all on your own.

Honestly OP for your own sake let this go.