i swipe left 99% of the time

[AlicePeters]

Is it normal to find literally all men on OLD apps as very unattractive and ugly?

Maybe i am too shallow

I found the same I joined just to see what’s out there but couldn’t find anyone I found attractive at all, I don’t think I’m shallow it’s just hard to go from a picture I usually need to speak to someone

Yep it's normal.
Just keep swiping.
There will be some men along soon to have a moan at you

😃

Me too. I can complete tinder and bumble in one hour. And then I delete. And a month later I do the same again and see the same people 😂

Unlike many OLDers I don't believe it's a numbers game. I swiped left on many and focussed on what I was looking for. 7 years later, DH and I are still happily married so it worked for me.

Be realistic, trust your instinct, remember that noone is perfect and focus on what is really really important to you.

You're not the only one. I've noticed this especially once I hit my 40s. Most of the men are very unattractive to me...especially in their late 40s and 50s. makes me sad. I wish I wasn't like that but I tend to be attracted to someone physically first. Very disheartening

I swiped left on everyone and then realised that online dating isn't for me. I forsee myself being single for a while.

Let's face it, most people aren't so attractive the older they get. It's easier if you grow old with someone. But new relationships later on mean you have to fancy old people 😆.

I think it's harder but not impossible. After all, we are all in the same boat.

[male poster]

probably swipe left on around 60 - 70% of women.

I think lots of the men coming up for me (and probably women do it too, but I don't see their profiles, am looking for men, before anyone moans) between 40-55 don't seem to take care of themselves or present themselves in a 'first impressions count' kind of way. So they might be a bit overweight which isn't a dealbreaker for me, but they are wearing very old, scruffy or just unflattering clothes. Like you can be big but at least dress nicely for your profile pics. Or the few I've seen who seem in good shape appear absolutely fitness obsessed, have healthy bodies but every pic is them with shades or helmet or the back of them with Lycra on so I can't see faces properly and they're giving the impression of 24/7 hiking, biking, climbing, in the gym or whatever and nothing more 'normal' which makes me feel like I'd be bottom of the list in priorities. Others have nice/average faces but they're sticking out their tongue or flicking the Vs. Match all my criteria on the search and state 'serious relationship' you think great, but then their bio says 'just ask' or 'fill this in later' and the pic is a topless selfie lying in bed which doesn't exactly give me LTR vibes. It's really odd to me, I always wonder would they turn up to a bar or club in dirty joggers, flick the Vs and stick their tongue out at me while offering to buy me a drink or chat me up. Is it laziness or is this just normal these days and it's a 'this is who I am, take it or leave it' kind of attitude?

My mantra as I swipe left is 'I'd rather be single, I'd rather be single, id rather be single' on pretty much everyone.

I'm not even swiping for George Clooney or Brad Pitt types. Just a normal and nice looking bloke would do! Most are horrendous...

I think you need to give them a chance. Sometimes meeting in real life is completely different to seeing a photo. A 2d image of someone only scratches the surface of what a person is like (personality, values, lifestyle etc). Stop focusing on the least important bit. Meet up with some of them before you write them off.

That's if they actually really want a boyfriend @AceSpades54321
I think often the reason we swipe left so often, is a subconscious 'I rather like being single actually' and we're only actually on OLD 'looking' because of societal expectations that we should want a man.

arethereanyleftatall oh I do want a boyfriend - even a husband! And I carefully review each profile. It’s not just about how they ‘look’ - there are so many men just looking for casual, not sure what they want, a long list of what they DON’T want, sexist comments etc
and the few I end up chatting to make it quickly sex talk or just want a pen pal and are not not to meet up
I assume married
online dating wasn’t like this 10 years + ago

I got my bumble data and swiped left on 35 thousand men over the years
It was about 800 right swipes

Well saying I am single

I went speed dating and realised chemistry and attraction is nothing to do with a photo
Which has made me reevaluate how I do the online thing now (i basically dont trust profiles)

Some of these guys I would have swiped right on but had personality of bread or were weird and the ones I would have swiped left on were hilarious and lovely - my friend is now with a guy she met at speed dating and he was so lovely. He had not a single match online dating

I found it so interesting seeing their 'profiles' post online dating as I was like 🙈 he looks amazing on paper and IRL he is horrible

I’m really fussy! I gave up on Bumble because every man I’d organised a date with cancelled or ghosted me beforehand. I’ve run out of men on Hinge! On Tinder but it’s definitely need in haystack for swipe rights!
I’m not convinced it’s about meeting them in real life, some show you who they are on their profile, some in messages, before you even get close to meeting! Many cringey blokes out there. I’ve been on the apps since May and only managed one date so far (which lasted 50 minutes before he left to do jobs at home 🤷🏻‍♀️). I’m not convinced it’s a good way to meet someone.

Same for me. I find very few people attractive nowadays unlike when in my teens and twenties when I seemed to find everyone attractive! I’m 50’s now and to be honest I have to meet someone in real life, develop a connection and then move on to dating if the feeling is mutual. It is very difficult though so needless to say I’ve been single for a couple of years now. I definitely find personality the most attractive feature now and that’s very hard to find OLD as it’s so looks centred.

I gave up. I'm mid 50s and the men in my age range were so scruffy, badly presented and with little to nothing in their profiles it was a non starter. And the number of men using their wedding photo with their ex-wife cut off is mind blowing!

Out of curiosity I had a look to see how the women in my age-range presented themselves. The majority were well turned out with thoughtful profiles. No wonder men are likes kids in a candy shop.

@WhosthatGirlJess You really think those guys are going to buy a drink for someone?! That's their cocklodger uniform.

I’m so glad to see the comments here and I’m not alone. I’ve swiped through thousands and chatted to only a handful
and playing tag with one guy to meet up. It’s hard not to get excited and pin so much on this one date given how slow things are...

I’m the same. I find very few people attractive initially but sometimes people will grow on me.

My strategy for OLD was to swipe right on the men I thought seemed most interesting as long as I didn’t find them actively unattractive.

I only ended up dating one person as I’m still seeing him 6 months later. He’s an absolute gem of a man. Who knows if I just got lucky or my strategy worked.

So true

Yetanothernamechangeagain great! which dating app/site were you using? also how old are you if you don't mind me asking.