Do I go to wedding with new boyfriend (ex will be there )?

[reidemay]

Two years ago was probably the worst time of my life.
I was getting messed around by my ex (lied to ,mentally abused ) etc who had plenty of narcissistic traits..he treated me awful and dumped me a week after my mum died.
He didn't text me morning of funeral and when I messaged him he read and ignored.
I was at the lowest and needed therapy to deal with everything.
He left me a shell of who I was
Fast forward two years I'm in a happy relationship with the loveliest man ,we live together and have spoke about marriage and kids.
Basically to quote lizzo "I'm not the girl I was or used to be " ha ha (cheesy )

Next Sunday is a mutual friends wedding
He will be there
Do I go with my new partner ? And show he didn't break me?

*My ex literally means nothing to me..."

That's obviously not true at all and lying to yourself doesn't help anything. If he truly meant nothing to you you would have never posted about this. It wouldn't have even occurred to you to care if he's at the wedding.

Ex might bring his partner too if he has one. Hopefully you've both moved on and it's no big deal anymore. Don't use your current boyfriend as a tool to demonstrate this though. Just enjoy the wedding.

Go and take your partner . You don't have to speak to your ex , I'm sure your friend would not have put you on the same table.
If for some reason you end up facing each other , just nod and say his name and move or look away.

Is your current partner actually invited though.

My ex does have a new partner and I don't care in the slightest.
I love my boyfriend but that doesn't stop the memories of the hurt my ex put me through.
Me wanting to show him he didn't break me is no way a reflection on how I feel for my boyfriend
If my ex knocked on my door today I wouldn't entertain him

Go - take your new partner, dress to the nines and look like you are living the life of Riley.

Is your partner invited to the wedding? If so take him. I think you're over your ex- as in you're not in love or pinning after him. But you want to show him you're happy and moved on. I get that. I would think that's normal after some treating you so appallingly. Its like sticking your fingers up at it him. Go, enjoy the wedding and have fun with your partner and don't give your ex so much as a glance.

I think the way you feel is natural but take your partner and have a great time and thank your lucky stars you’re not with that toxic vile arsehole anymore.

Go with your boyfriend and have fun. Your ex doesn't exist in your world.

Why aren’t you saying if he’s invited?

Why do you want to show him though?

Why is not just going and having a great time with your new boyfriend enough?

It's not about lining after him or still wanting him but, if you had truly moved on, you wouldn't care. OK, there might be a small part if you that considered it as a feeling thought but not to the extent of posting about about.

You don’t need to show anything to someone who means nothing to you.

You'll only be over him (and your best self again) when you don't feel you have to show him anything. When you realise you don't care and it doesn't matter what he thinks.

If he has been invited of course you attend with him (if he wants to go as well)

Why does your ex being there change anything?

Why are you so concerned about what your ex thinks about you? Surely you would only be concerned, if his opinions still mean something to you. If his opinions / thoughts are still significant, you aren’t over him at all.

I have a plus 1 invitation
The simple reason like I've explained is the ending by him was so brutal and done with the most malice...he thought I would never be happy without him
So yes I do want to show him I've moved on-and yes I have moved on but I do want to show him

Then you haven't truly moved on

if you would usually take your boyfriend on the basis of a plus one invitation, then yes, bring your boyfriend.
I don’t think your headspace is quite where you need to be generally though, you’re very hung up on your ex still.

Aside from all the very valid points everyone's already said above, the wedding is a week away so why are you debating who is and isn't going at this stage?

How did you RSVP to your +1 invitation?

Regardless of your Ex, that's the only decider here as to who goes, you can't start fucking the bridal couple around at this stage either dropping out or asking to bring your partner if you'd originally declined the +1.

You'll only be over him (and your best self again) when you don't feel you have to show him anything. When you realise you don't care and it doesn't matter what he thinks.

This. I used to feel like that about my EXH who like the OP's ex left me very damaged. I wanted him to SEE that I was better (despite the fact that in hindsight he definitely wouldn't have cared or been remotely bothered, and I wasn't actually better, just putting on a show).

Several years on I'm now at a stage that I genuinely don't care and it's very freeing. I got married again earlier in the year, I don't know or care whether my Ex knows that. If anything I'd rather him not know as it's none of his business. I know nothing about his life nor do I want to.

You're not getting it; if you're over him, you wouldn't care.

Hate is as strong an emotion as love. You will know you are over it when you feel neither, feeling nothing is when you are free of it.

Of course you go. If you’re happy with your partner, this ex is an irrelevance. Don’t give him any more headspace.

But if you were OK, you wouldn't care.

How would you feel if new BF wanted to take you somewhere to stick two fingers up at someone else?

What reaction would you expect from your ex (especially if there’s alcohol involved)? If there’s a chance he might cause trouble, then it might be prudent if your current partner didn’t go. It would be unfair to him to put him in that kind of situation, to say nothing of spoiling the Bride & Groom’s day.