ED from guy in his 20s but wants anal sex

[outlanderfan88]

I've been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks, we met on tinder..

4 nights ago we 'did the deed' or rather tried to but he couldn't get an erection, his excuse was that he was nervous.

Tonight we tried again and again he wasn't feeling it but then he started asking me for anal sex, not my favorite thing in the world, so i ummmed and arrrred and the fact that i was considering it seemed to excite him and he got an erection. The whole thing kinda freaked me out so i made my excuses and left

am i right to think this is weird from a fella in his 20s?

He may be gay

He’s porn sick
Block and move on

Urgh.

Porn

Get rid he sounds awful & creepy

Porn. Death grip.

MN cracks me up. Where do you come up with this crap?

Eurgh porn. It’s so common for young girls to be losing their virginity and expecting to do anal, thanks to the popularity of it in porn. Personally I would ditch, god knows what he will start asking for further down the line in your relationship.

i am a regular poster but i changed my name to post this for obvious reasons 😓

He likes anal sex. Maybe it excites him more than other things, which is why he suggested it after struggling with ED.

Doesn't mean he's gay or "porn sick". Does mean you're not compatible if you're not keen.

Not ok if he was trying to persuade you into something when it was clear you were hesistant though (any sexual act, not specifically anal). For that alone I wouldn't want to see him again.

Some guys do get nervous first time. I vaguely remember DH being less than stellar the first few times.

However, even if anal gets him more aroused, absolutely no reason for you to agree to that unless you want to.

I think first time sex can be awkward and it's rarely really good, this whole situation feels like hard work and you shouldn't feel pressurised at all. I'm 40 though and married so I suppose I am surprised that anal sex comes up at this early stage? Is that normal? I suppose I always thought it would come a bit further along in the relationship. Am I completely wrong?

Agree, another porn hound. It’s highly likely he has no normal or genuine love or desire for women. So he has to focus on deviant stuff to get his jollies. A right creep. You dodged a bullet there.

Doesn't matter what is 'normal'.

You aren't comfortable with something sexually and the stage at which he asked.

Incompatible.

It's OK to stop seeing someone who makes you uncomfortable sexually, there's nothing wrong with you feeling this way!

If a guy you are casually seeing can't get an erection (at his age) honestly, ditch.

The anal thing? Who knows what's going on there; but that's his problem not yours.

Too nervous to get it up but confident enough to ask for anal sex on the second attempt? Doesn't ring true to me.

A 20 year old can't get hard?

Porn

Move on

Asked DH - he thought “first date” nerves too. If he’s embarrassed, he may be trying a bit too hard (excuse the pun) to get hard, so the anal thing could just be desperation. I’d stick to your boundaries but also reassure him and just talk it through.

Google ‘porn use erectile dysfunction young men’

Too nervous to get it up but confident enough to ask for anal sex on the second attempt?

Yeah agree. It’s not nerves, he’s just not turned on by standard sex. I would swerve.

yeah he sounds like a great guy asking for anal sex on the second date Wtaf is wrong with people these days? Oh yeah of course, it’s constant exposure to porn.

no wonder you left. What a turn off.

Agree.

Why so coy with ‘did the deed’ and then go on about anal sex and erections with gay abandon?

He’s used to wanking to porn so the real thing feels too alien and overwhelming. I stay away from guys in their 20’s for that reason. Growing up wanking to
porn really messes up young men’s heads.

He ain't nothing but a porn hound
Anal all the time
Ain't nothing but a porn hound
Anal all the time
Between the anal and the choking, girl
Don't go back a second time.

Who cares what the reason is? Run for your life.