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Original poster

If it was your decision to get divorced do you ever regret it?

103 replies

TheOceanClub · 22/08/2022 20:08

just like that really.

OP posts:
Phos · 13/02/2023 13:59

Oh god no. I shouldn’t ever have married him. In hindsight I should have ended the relationship after a year or two but felt trapped by him. He held me back in so many ways.

OriGanOver · 13/02/2023 17:32

I posted on this thread under a different name. I had sort of regretted my divorce..

I really really don't now! He was an asshole and he still texts me trying to twist things up and get back with me! Yuk! So glad I got divorced!!!

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 13/02/2023 17:36

My only regret is not doing it much much sooner.

iamenough2023 · 13/02/2023 18:06

I regret giving that man 25 years of my life. I regret choosing him as my kids father. I regret wasting best years of my life with him. I regret not finding a courage to do it sooner. Never, not for a second, did I doubt my decision to leave him.

AuntieMarys · 13/02/2023 18:08

No.

soboredtonight · 13/02/2023 18:17

No should have done it sooner

barbrahunter · 13/02/2023 18:24

Good God no. He was awful and he held me back in more ways than I ever imagined. I can still feel my soaring heart when we finally spilt.

Blueberry40 · 13/02/2023 18:26

Absolutely no regrets. I wish I had done it much earlier.

BlastedPimples · 13/02/2023 19:34

No. I wish I had binned him in 2014 when I found out about his first affair.

He's now been violent, two more affairs that I know about and has generally lost his mind.

What a waste of time. Divorcing this year, 9 years later.

Get rid at frost sign of infidelity or violence.

northernlight20 · 13/02/2023 19:38

nope, i regret not doing it sooner, seeing parents in a toxic marriage has done damage to my kids, one is now in therapy as a result.

Sideorderofchips · 13/02/2023 19:47

Yes

Spottycarousel · 13/02/2023 20:56

Absolutely not. My narcissist ex said I was making the worst mistake of my life!! Nope it was the absolute best!!

crikeybiller · 13/02/2023 21:04

No. Never. I regret wasting the absolute best years of my life. I will never get them back.
I'm now 48, and although I'm in a new relationship it can never be as straightforward as it would have been had I met him 20 years ago.
God the things I could and should have done with my life !!
No, I don't regret it. I'm screwed financially but better off in every other way

DivorceConfusion · 13/02/2023 21:13

Just place marking for strength.
I’m so pleased for all the people who don’t regret it for one minute, strength to you💪
two people say they did regret it, I wonder why and whether they were the person to instigate the divorce or not, though of course they don’t have to explain.

as my username suggests I’m currently weighing up my options…

Mom2K · 13/02/2023 21:17

I separated from my ex 4 years into our marriage while I had been a sahm and still had very young children (a result of finding him online dating, pretending to be a single father, secretly contacting his ex girlfriends, being a porn addict and being financially irresponsible and emotionally abusive towards me in general). After I kicked him out of our apartment and met with not a very good lawyer I ended up taking him back because the lawyer basically scared me into believing he would have had more access to the children than he probably really would have gotten at that stage and thst I would receive very little financial support....so I just didn't feel I could do it then.

I stayed 4 more years and everything got a lot worse. I then did it for real regardless of whatever the consequences were going to be and I'm so glad I did. He made things very difficult throughout the whole process and constantly me demands for access to the kids then regularly failed to show up, constantly made getting the support payments from him difficult (but thankfully enforcement kicked in)...kept accusing me of parental alienation (but he didn't pursue his false accusations through court thankfully). He eventually dug himself into a huge financial hole that he lost his job and moved far away and still didn't keep up with consistent access to the kids in spite of his emails demanding it, and now my kids are teenagers who choose for themselves not to bother with him.

My only regret is ever having gotten together with him in the first place (but I don't regret my kids).

yummytummy · 13/02/2023 21:25

yes and no. exh was physically and emotionally abusive and also cheated so yes better for me and kids to be out of that environment. however many years later and i am still single not managed to find anyone decent and refuse to settle and at times it is really really fucking lonely. so maybe not the exh i miss but having someone or the early version of him who started off kind

anthurium · 13/02/2023 22:32

Not quite initiated by me, but to divorce was more or less a mutual decision. Absolutely no regrets, the marriage should never have happened as had I stayed in it I most definitely would have ended up childless (I'm now a solo parent by choice, still no partner, but I am very happy with my life)!

AnneLovesGilbert · 13/02/2023 22:42

No. If I’d known about MN I’d have gone a lot sooner and honestly possibly not married him. But it’s all led me to where I am now so no real regrets even at staying till I had no choice but to leave.

The day I moved out I slept properly for the first time in a year. The day my absolute arrived in the post I felt freeeeee. I’d been prepared to cry, I always cry, but I just felt calm and optimistic.

Freetodowhatiwant · 13/02/2023 22:50

i don’t regret leaving my DH 3 years ago, I am absolutely still happy that I made that decision, but I sometimes have nostalgic thoughts for the good times we had and the life we had together as we had a lot of nice times in our 20 years together. But his anger was too difficult for me to put up with for the rest of my life

Milkand2sugarsplease · 13/02/2023 22:55

Not one single regret, ever!!

B1rd · 13/02/2023 23:56

No. He's got a relationship that he would have never had with our daughter now. He had to step up.
He became a good friend and we went on holiday together during covid.
We have a better relationship now, as friends, than we ever did when we were married.
I think it turned out for the best.

NYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYN · 14/02/2023 00:14

ABSOLUTELY NOT

If I'd not followed through with it I wouldn't be leading my lovely life now.

Not regretted it for a single second

Frogscottle · 14/02/2023 00:31

No. And his appalling behaviour to both me and our children since we split has only made me more glad that I won’t be spending the rest of my life with him. I thought that deep down he was a decent man. I was very wrong.

MintyCedric · 14/02/2023 00:36

Not for a second.

5.5 years divorced and another rear separated prior to that.

I was particularly grateful during lockdown that we were no longer together!

Palaver1 · 14/02/2023 07:24

No wish I’d done it sooner it was not a marriage more of a nightmare

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