If it was your decision to get divorced do you ever regret it?

[TheOceanClub]

just like that really.

Don't regret the divorce at all. Still kicking myself for pitiful financial split I set up which left me in debt for years.

no regrets. my ex was very selfish and i had a stressful life in a small house with a small garden. Now i have a bigger house, big beautiful garden and a new man who worships the ground i walk on.

Not for a second. Getting married was the worst mistake I made. Getting divorced was a massive relief.

No, no regrets. As a pp said, the extent of their crapness has been magnified through the whole process….which means I wasn’t going mad after all!

The thing I always remember was my own solicitor saying to me "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" It was a very odd thing to say, probably said in regard to the finances, as in i I was losing everything. I was also going from being a house husband, with 4 children under 9, to having to go through the courts for access, luckily it got sorted quite quickly, after a dodgy start.

This year, my (2nd) wife and i celebrate our silver wedding anniversary, there must be a message in there somewhere.

Yes, at times I do regret it. I regret not trying harder at my marriage but then it takes two and he wasn't willing. I later found out that he had already jumped ship and was having an affair .

No. Never. Ever.

I'm fucked financially. Lonely. It's hard work but I wish I'd done it about six years earlier.

It's been a few years now and our relationship has improved massively and he stepped up as a father eventually and we now share them 50/50. He has a girlfriend which I think has helped a lot. My mental health is a million times better.

I should have done it sooner. But it's hard to make the break and you become so normalised to the shit, it's easy to think things are ok for the kids and it is just you unhappy. It's wasn't ok for them. We were all deeply unhappy and he was furious when I said I wanted to split.

It was really hard for a couple of years but I'm so glad I did it.

Not once

Never.

I have been sad and it's been hard. I still loved him when I left him.

But it was never anything other than the right decision and so I have never regretted it.

I separated 5 years ago and don't regret it at all. Haven't missed the tw** once.

I do however regret and have constant guilt about what it has done to the kids. I wish I'd gone about the divorce differently to try and protect them more. As above poster said - once you leave, you can't protect the kids from your ex while you're not there.

Nope I just wish I'd had the strength to do it years earlier. It's been 10 years since we divorced and although it's been hard raising the kids on my own. I absolutely love being free of his nastiness and controlling ways. I still delight in being able to do what I want when I want without him sulking and trying to ruin it for me.

Nope.

Yes, biggest mistake of my life, in my case the grass wasnt greener :(

Not for one second.

Sometimes, I still loved him when I left. Most of the time if I think about it I'm relieved but we did click well and had similar outlooks on life. Sometimes when I'm having loads of fun I think how much he would have enjoyed it too and the life we could have had. But I was utterly miserable being with him. I've never been so low in my life and often thought about letting go of my wheel on the motorway to end the constant stress in my head. I never trusted or gave myself to a man until I got married and couldn't understand how he could treat me the way that he did.

Most of the time I'm very happily single. My day-to-day life is 100% better without him.

Never. There are lots of things about it that make me feel sad and my personal life isn’t particularly great at the moment but whenever I stop to think ‘would I rather still be married?’ I know instantly that getting divorced was the right decision.

No. I hugely regret (for me and, more importantly, the children) not doing it years earlier. Those years were awful for all of us and I feel huge guilt about the children.

I have no regrets at all.

No not at all. It was very hard kicking my husband out in the early 70's, and I was "judged" and was the subject of a lot of gossip!
It made me nervous to re-marry, but we are 45 years on and still going strong.

Nope

Nope! Should have done it 10 years earlier...

Occasionally.

I did at first as it was a bit scary being on my own after so long. Dating again was awful and I worried I wouldn't find anyone else.

I still do have occasional wobbles because he put me above so much and really showed his love for me. I haven't had that since but my DP is a much better fit for me.

It's easy to forget sometimes why I wanted the divorce but when I think about it properly I can't imagine still being with someone who physically repulsed me and was a liar and gaslighter. I do miss the laughter though.

Forgot to say though that I still wish I'd done it years earlier.

No. My marriage ended when I discovered addictions and I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I hadn't stumbled upon the one thing that led to everything unravelling - but I also know that if I hadn't he would have absolutely ruined us both financially and I'm glad I avoided that. It also gave him a push to get help. I am sad for the DC, I know they would love for us to be together, years later. If I regret anything it's ignoring the red flags that were there even in the early days.

I regret that the DC didn't grow up in a happy family with both of their parents, and nothing will stop me regretting that. However, we didn't have a happy family and all I could do was leave, 10 years later, no regrets.