One bed flat during separation with 2 children

[Invasionofthegutsnatchers]

Is it deemed suitable to have an 11 year old and 8 year old living with me in a one bed flat, me on the sofa them in the bedroom in a double bed and air bed, for 50.50 custody in the short term until my ex buys me out of our house? I will then get 200k equity and be able to afford a bigger place. I'm concerned the courts could find this unsuitable and so deny me access. He will stay in the family home with them so they have a familiar base. We have savings and equity so I won't be entitled to benefits except child benefit.

13 year marriage, 19 years together. I earn 1k a month part time and he earns far more. I have savings but am worried about getting into financial difficulties hence looking to rent a small manageable place initially. Also looking for a better full time job. I'm a qualified teacher but currently working in a support role. I'll have to give up my lease car as it's on his company benefits so have a small search area for rentals as need to be near their school which is on the same campus as my work.

I will get financial advice ASAP but am currently out of the country on holiday.

Please be kind. Very upset today. I e never dealt with financial stuff before.

Are you the poster with the other thread about leaving your husband and the kids staying with him?
You need to contact womens aid and a solicitor. It would also be wise to book an appointment with your GP.
The CAB will be able to advise about benefits

Is it your house too, are you on the deeds? Why is he staying there & not you? Who is main carergiver?

back to your question….I think that situation will be absolutely fine in the short term, 100% doable.

Not sure about another thread @Orangesare can you link to it?

I don't want to leave my family, I am proposing a separation with equal custody and want to care for my children in my own flat half the week or whatever arrangement we come to.

No abuse, no violence, I just don't love him anymore.

He will stay in the family home because he can afford to buy me out. I want a fresh start in a new place. Rentals are in short supply and I've found a one bed flat which is lovely, modern, in a safe area very close to their schools and my work but I'm worried about shooting myself in the foot by living somewhere that is seen as being unsuitable for them. Ages are 11 and 8.

I want to move out because I'm miserable in our house.

Ultimately I want a 2 or 3 bed house or ground floor flat with outdoor space. But there's nothing available in my village and with having to give up my car I really want to stay local to my village.

I'm on the deeds yes so in the end I'll get 200k equity less fees.

Until then I don't have much so need to start small.

We are 50.50 caregivers he is a very hands on dad

Are your children the same sex? If not, you won't want (and they certainly won't want) to put them.in a shared room.

No one girl age 11 one boy age 8

If he’s buying you out, then you should be able to rent somewhere with more bedrooms.

But she wants to save money until she gets the equity so that she can presumably actually afford something when she gets it.

Mixed sexes at that age in a one bed is not going to work. Unless the bedroom is big enough for a room divider?

I think it's fine for the short-term.

Are you expecting a court battle from him over the children then? If not then I don't think you need to worry really.

If you are expecting him to be difficult then it might be better to try and get something a little bigger as he may try to drag out the financial aspects too, leaving you with a lot longer to wait for your settlement.

Can you share with the DD and your DS have the sofa?

Do you have current and savings accounts in your name only? Or just joint accounts? How much do you have in savings in your name?

Are you really 50-50 carers if you work part time and he works full time? Realistically it may be more practical for the children to have a primary residence - with the parent who is most available and who does things like book and take them to medical appts, all that stuff.

If you are the primary carer - even if it's 55-45 - then you should stay in the family home with the children, he can buy you out or you can sell and give him his share of the equity.

You might be entitled to benefits (universal credit) depending how much you have in savings.

You definitely need legal advice. Advicenow has lots of helpful info on their website. Your local citizens advice should know about any local law clinics and solicitors offering free initial advice, so contact them.

It's absolutely fine in the short term.

Is he a particularly difficult man and this going through the courts? If not, I wouldn't worry about it

I'll happily sleep on the floor, in the bathroom, anywhere! Can do any permutation of lounge slash bedroom sleeping arrangements. Want to prioritise them.

Their original home will have their possessions, furniture etc in their bedrooms. Hey are staying there with my husband. This will be for a few months until I can rent a bigger place.

I just need to know if it will disadvantage me in the eyes of solicitors etc.

And if he's a hands on dad and you're amicable, would he consider making up the shortfall between a 1 bed rental and a 2 bed, so his children have a room each?

He works from home in a very chilled out senior role, short hours. Does all the school runs on the days I work, cooks dinner, spends loads of time with them.

I'd be lying if I said I was the primary caregiver and I don't want to stay in the house anyway.

I still don't see why you should move out and why he can't.

Otherwise, as PP said, he can contribute to the cost of a 2-3 bed rental.

@HardRockOwl this is what he has offered but I'm just steeling myself in case he changes his mind when reality hits. No 2 bed flats in my area currently anyway.

Tempted to go for this very nice one bed flat but worried it will count against me in any future negotiations

His dad is paying off the mortgage after I move out snd get my equity to enable the children to stay in their beloved family home.

Short term it will be fine.

Sorry cross post

I'd tread carefully here. You describe him as the primary caregiver and that you actively want to leave the home

Be careful you don't end up with every other weekend - unless that's something you're open to

Rentals aren't short term, though, are they? Most are a 1 year fixed term, although if you can find one with a 6 month break clause, that would be doable.

I'd keep looking for a 2-3 bed if I were you.

Either way you need legal advice ASAP. The financial settlement should not just include a fair share of the equity but should also consider savings, pensions etc. It might not necessarily be 50-50, it depends.