Was having a baby as bad as everyone made out?

[MandySays]

Having my first. Heard many horror stories!

Bad in terms of what? Are you on about childbirth, mental health, relationship with baby/partner... What?

The first year, yes (although I didn't actually realise at the time). Since then it's been great 🙂

Looking after them

Physically no, mentally yes

Worse!
yep. Hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I had a terrible pregnancy, birth and recovery. It’s a physical thing so it does depend. Some people do find it easier if they are lucky with birth and have a baby without digestive issues (which is often is why babies cry a lot!).

.. first 6 weeks, hardest work you’ll do in your life. I felt completely out of touch with reality !

The issues change as they get older, not sure it ever gets “easier”, but the issues are different, as is you ability to deal with them.

I found it much much easier but I had very low expectations.

@IceStationZebra i don’t think my expectations could get much lower. I’m expecting hell.

I’m 2 weeks postpartum after an emergency c-section.. you kind of just adjust yes it’s hard but it’s so lovely to.. you don’t even think about it you just get on with it. Your little baby depends on you. I’m lucky to have plenty of support around me. You’ll be fine I worried about how I would adapt and my partner said I’m a good mother and it was the nicest compliment I’ve ever had X

About the same as a newborn, but I thought it would be easier quicker than it did.

Yes. And our relationship suffered. But it's back on track now.

Having a baby was the easiest part

It’s very intense. Extremely tiring because you only sleep when the baby sleeps which is 3hrs at a time for newborns. And your hormones are all over the place. And it’s a bit scary!

On the flip side it is the most amazing thing to look at your baby, they will be the most beautiful thing you have ever seen and the feelings of love and protection are indescribable.

As they grow, it settles down. Everyone gets a bit more rest and you gain confidence.

God no my first was so easy!! No issues with birth. Breastfed and that was easy. Gained weight easily. He woke every three hours until he was 18 months but I’d settle him back to sleep within ten minutes. No colic, no reflux, no allergies, no recurrent ear infections or anything else. He played happily on the floor while I cooked dinner. Hit all his milestones.

Don’t worry though, karma got me good second time round.

It completely depends on the sort of baby you get.

It's certainly much harder than I ever thought but it's also so rewarding too. The hardest bits are completely loosing your freedom and spontaneity. The baby comes first in all circumstances but that doesn't mean it's not frustrating, boring, lonely and hard at times.

No. It was genuinely the best period of my life. I absolutely loved postpartum, I felt like I bounced along clouds of happy with my babies. I also slept a lot better than I'd done in pregnancy, and although my babies weren't amazing sleepers, the ability to nap in the day etc meant I was more rested than I'd been my entire adult life. It took maternity leave to show me I've been working myself into the ground, and to realise what was important.

Toddlers I found/find exhausting. Babies I didn't find high maintenance at all (even the one with colic)

Much easier than I expected. Your happiness depends entirely on how big the gap between expectation and reality is.

First few days are bliss. It’s once baby starts being more awake / crying / colicky that it’s quickly turns into a hellish nightmare that you can’t wake up from.
but you still love your baby. You might just be very tired and if breastfeeding, possibly resent your partner for sleeping at night and going out to work during the day.

I found going to baby classes good for me as I needed a reason to get dressed and get out. Not everyone enjoys them/can afford them though so don’t feel you have to do them.

Piss easy. Toddlers on the other hand…

Haha, yes!

They still don't sleep, they can run away, and oh the attitude.

I suppose it’s good to go in with low expectations but I wouldn’t describe it as hell! Your body is recovering from a massive thing, and you don’t get much sleep - those are the worst things.

This is just from watching friends with different personalities deal with having kids: I think the people who struggle the most with the newborn phase (leaving out things like serious health problems) are people who feel frustrated at not being able to do loads of stuff (keep the house spotless, be out socialising, cook amazing meals etc) because a newborn really does take up an unbelievable amount of time. If you accept that the house will be a bit of tip and you can live on sandwiches and you don’t have to introduce everyone to the baby immediately, then actually having a newborn mainly involves lots of sitting on the sofa feeding/holding a baby and watching Netflix.

Also wanted to add, it’s probably easier if you have no other dependants as like others say, you can nap when baby does during the day. I have a dog who although 2, is still very much a puppy and required love and attention while my baby was sleeping. So I rarely slept when baby did.

I am no used to running on minimal sleep (4 month sleep regression hit us HARD and is still ongoing though hopefully getting better if last night was anything to go by)

It depends on the child. Some babies are easier than others. Gently, could you be catastrophising? Are you prone to anxiety?

Not for me, no.
I spent the 9 months (Mat leave) having a lovely time and wondering why everybody found it so hard (good baby, good sleeper plus his dad did loads)
Then I went back to work and he got seriously ill and stopped sleeping and that was my difficult period.
It all passes though and before you know it, it's a distant memory and you wish you could revisit their babyhood for a few day 😍