Was having a baby as bad as everyone made out?

[MandySays]

Having my first. Heard many horror stories!

No soooo sooo much easier both birth and the actual parenting.

I found the first few weeks the toughest with both DC but you get in to a bit of a routine and it does get easier, from around 2mo I loved it, I love babies. It's when they get to around 18 months onwards I found really hard, DD1 is 2.5yo and is an absolute handful

My third was my most difficult baby. Some babies are well behaved and sleep between feeds. Others suffer with colic, reflux, some have cmpa. Like my third. It's took me three months to get to the point of her getting a special milk and medicine for her severe reflux. She did nothing but scream all day every day up until last week. I don't know how I've coped but I powered through, even though most days I didn't want to. I have pnd now because of it. It wouldn't have been so bad if doctors listened to me first time and didn't fob us off. My other two were quite ok looking after them. But my third was just way out my comfort zone! But we are finally getting there and she's how my other two were finally! Make sure you've got lots of support!

It so depends on the baby you have. One that loves sleep, has no issues with feeding and is happy to put down is a totally different ball game to a tongue tied, none sleeping reflux baby. It’s the luck of the draw. I assume the first gives a lovely and easy experience . I had the latter. It was really, really tough I’m not going to lie. But we survived and I still enjoyed bits. Either way, the newborn bit doesn’t last forever. I disagree with PPs. Toddlers as absolutely epic and make the difficult baby bit so worth it.

I heard loads of horror stories when I had my first son at 19. "He will cry all the time, no sleep, won't be able to do anything" blah blah blah. He was a good baby. Hardly cried and slept well. He was not a mischievous little boy and was a joy to raise until he got to his teens.
My other two...man! They have been difficult. So it's not always the same for everyone

I expected hell, but apart from colic, it was ok. Afternoons could be long(autumn baby) and he's never been a great sleeper, but once we got bf sorted, I kind of got myself a little routine. Met some great women in the various baby groups too and have lots of memories of pushing prams pretty much anywhere we could. I think the sheer novelty of it all got me through 1st time.

No, I found it easy. Easy going babies were into a routine by 6 weeks and slept 10 to 6am by 10 weeks. BF with ease for 12 weeks.

But, I had friends who had far worse experiences.

No ,it was fine 3 times.
However, if you are someone who likes routine, you might find it difficult in that a breastfed baby ( and some formula fed ones) have their own time!
I can remember reading a whole load of stuff about people not getting enough sleep before I had my first, , and asking my best friend, who had a child a few years before me, why she hadn't mentioned it. She was a bit of a hippy, and said she just slept when the baby did, and if that meant she was in bed till lunchtime, then so be it, and it really wasn't a problem for her.
It made sense, if you've been up all night with the baby, then you just sleep later.
If you are someone who has to spring out of bed at 7am, then you might find it more of a problem.
If you are someone who is very precious abut people holding your baby or helping out, then you might also struggle. Take all the help you can get, even your 80 year old granny can hold the baby while you tidy up/eat your lunch/make tea.

I'd had two quite high needs full on babie, didn't sleep but it wasn't hell. I was in the baby bubble and loved it until they hit 2 then it's hell!

The birth was gruesome and 10x worse than anyone told me.

The looking after baby bit was easy. Non of the bad stories you hear on here. My three, fed, slept and smiled. It was wonderful and I loved every single second of it. I acknowledge that not this is not everyone's experience.

With one child found it very easy and didn't get the fuss. It was hard at times, but far easier than expected. Newborn and toddler is a whole other ball game though.

What I wouldn't do to go back to small baby days. They are my fondest memories.

The first few weeks are awful but there are good bits like snuggling up with a newborn that are nice.

It's hard to explain but having a baby is both the best and hardest thing you will ever do. It's both things at the same time most of the time.

This was me too! Didn’t know what hit me when I had DS2 21 mths later.

Bet you are pleased you asked OP!

Honestly having my two boys has been the best thing ever, birth was fine with both of them, better than I expected. Yes I would say having children does cause a marriage/partnership to change, not necessarily for the worse just different, because it’s not just you two to consider anymore, but they aren’t little forever. Just work as a team. Take any offers of help from family or friends. It’s a wonderful journey and more of everything than you ever expect.

Good luck.

My second was like this. Had colic, reflux, cmpa and unknown to us, for the first 10 months of his life, was severely allergic to our cats. So so hard. It was the hardest year of my life, my mental health was shot to pieces. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Really hope the treatment that your baby and you get now will work and you will have some peace.

OP, I think it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do. If you have more than one you’ll realise that the baby’s personality and potential health issues really affect the experience. But I think with your first, even if you get the easiest baby in the world, it is such a huge shock to the system to have a helpless baby depending on you. There’s no way for that transition be easy, I think. It can be pretty lonely at the same time as realising you will never be able to be alone again. You can’t just switch off and not worry about this person. It is a rollercoaster and completely worth it. I have 3 under 3. My DC2 is 22 months old and behaves psychotically half the time and he is the most interesting person I have ever met. The joy and despair that I experience on a daily basis definitely leaves me exhausted but also I feel so alive. My DC3 is 5 weeks old and an absolute dream so far. It’s nice to be able to enjoy those newborn cuddles, I wonder if my DC1 was like this but I didn’t realise because I was so shocked from labour and being inexperienced. It’s such an enormous change but you will recover and move on from it.

Good luck! I really hope it goes well. Your life will never be the same again and that’s exciting and terrifying!