I don’t know what I’m really looking for here but I just wanted some of your opinions on this situation. Sorry in advance for any spelling/punctuation errors! This is a long one.
Married to DH for 14 years now and we have 2 children together, DH is 45 and I’m 42. DH has a busy job, and he works long hours but luckily does get weekends of. These past 12 months our relationship has gone very much down hill. He comes home and hardly speaks to me and the kids, he gets very agitated and snappy easily with both me and the kids, doesn’t do anything to help around the house, sex life has completely disappeared which is a major red flag as he has a high sex drive ‘when confronted he blamed it on him getting older and not feeling it as much anymore’ the only thing he seems to get joy out of is going to work and talking about work. He makes a lot more of an effort nowadays with his appearance, brought a lot of new fancy suits for work and even started up the gym a couple of months ago and has gotten into quite good shape. Reading all that back now does seem like a massive red flag but it’s all happened so slowly that I didn’t really think anything of it.
Earlier on this evening DH was in the bathroom upstairs leaving his phone beside me on the couch when a few notifications pinged up from Facebook, I couldn’t see much as his phone has a passcode on but did see this woman’s name pop up a few times. I went onto his Facebook profile on my own phone and decided to look up this woman out of pure curiosity as I’ve never heard him mention her before. Found out this woman is 25 and works alongside DH at work, she has done a lot of interacting with DH on Facebook, liking photos, statues and commenting etc ‘but nothing I would say was inappropriate’ I didn’t really think anything of it as DH does have quite a few work colleagues on his Facebook who he interacts with but something did feel of about this situation so I decided to check his Instagram, little insider DH’s Instagram is very much private, he tends to only follow family and close friends on there until I found he follows this woman which I found very weird. He’s liked pretty much all of her pictures and vice versa, a lot of her pictures are revealing ‘cleavage etc’ which makes me sick to my stomach knowing DH is liking them. Apart from the social media interactions I can’t find out any more information as I don’t know the passcode to his phone.
Of course I’m very upset about this whole situation and can’t think straight at the moment:( I’m writing this at nearly 2am on a morning as I can’t sleep. The woman in question is absolutely beautiful which did make me think surely someone like her, at her age wouldn’t want to go for my 45 year old husband. Should I ask him what’s going on or would you wait until I find out more information? I know I sound very naive but I’ve never been in this type of situation before and I feel heartbroken. Do you think I’m overreacting or would you feel the same way I’m feeling? Help please