This has made me feel uneasy

[Vincethepince]

My DH said if we ever split up, he wouldn't rule out saying a 17 or 18 year old. This has really not sat right with me. He says if they were mature enough, he wouldn't let their age put him off! He is really not fussed about it, he says he would not actively pursue a 17/18 year old, but if they clicked he would go for it.

Would this make you feel uncomfortable? It really has not sat right with me but I dunno if IABU

I think most people in the U.K. will be creeped out by the idea of a man sleeping with an 18yo. Not paedo territory but close and thinking that there is a power imbalance that make it unhealthy.

However 31 vs 18 is only 13 years gap. Would you think it’s weird fir a 30 yo yo go out with a 43yo? Probably not.

fwiw I know a few women who went out with men much older than them at 18~19yo. One of them is now married with someone with a similar age gap and they are very happy (she is over 40yo, her partner is over 50).

Sorry what I wanted to say is that I suspect he simply thinking in age gap - so like a 13 years gap rather than in age etc…
not so much as in ‘I’d love to be able to go out/sleep with a very young woman’ iyswim

How uptight do you think you should be, though? If you think you're 'too' uptight, who is making the rules about what the right level of uptight is?

Let’s be honest most men would if they had the chance!

Thanks @MineIsBetterThanYours I get what you are saying 😊

@Watchkeys other mumsnet posters 😂

Fwiw I know a guy who, for years, only dates very young women (18~20yo). They shared the same hobby. He wasn’t Adonis at all, quite the opposite.

He never had major issues finding a gf tbh.

I guess it depends how mature they were .

No they wouldn't.

“I wouldn't like it. He doesn't seem to understand the imbalance of power and experience”

This. I don’t think men in their 30s really have any business dating teenagers. It would make me feel a bit sick too.

Pleased I'm not alone in my feelings! I'd never date a man/boy (!?) Under 18. I highly doubt I'd date anyone under 25 tbh

Because they would really tell you 🙄 carrying on kidding yourself but most men would if they could.

Yes absolutely I’ve met some very mature 18 year olds who have been through a lot and have their shit together and some very immature 31 year olds.

i really can’t get why the op is so fixated, it’s not like he’s said god I fancy teenagers.

A man in his 30s or older who think it is OK to date a 17 or 18 year old girl is a creep as far as I am concerned.

There is also a real sense of entitlement as well in thinking a teenager would find a much older man attractive in the first place...

Men in general like younger women and I’m sure most would go lower if they could and wouldn’t be judged for it

Because they would really tell you?

You're not the authority on this. Your opinion isn't fact. People who don't believe the same thing as you aren't 'kidding themselves'.

No idea why you think you know better.

I’m sure most would go lower if they could and wouldn’t be judged for it

Are you? Must be true, then. You're actually quoting statistics and then saying they're not representative. What tosh.

See the chart most men would go for as Young as they could get away with, keep kidding yourself

@FlyingSaucerss

You're actually stating that your opinion is more accurate than the data you're posting as proof. Not worth the argument.

Stop being obtuse, most men would go as low as they could get away with but IF a 17 or 18 year old was interested they would go there if they got the chance, these are the ages they see as ideal 🙄🤦🏻

Mm. I am basing this on the premise that this genuinely came up naturally in conversation, but honestly I don’t think I’d give this too much thought. It’s a bit.. icky thinking of someone his age with an 18 year old but he was talking in the hypothetical and I think, as with most things, the reality would likely be different. In the context of an age gap conversation, I expect his point was that you can’t really rule someone out (within reason!) based on their age.
i am also assuming he’s never shown any creep tendencies in the past.

@FlyingSaucerss

Not worth the argument. Stop tagging and quoting me, please.