DH being a prick or me oversensitive

[Drainedandconfused8]

Name changed but I'm a regular. Away with DH and kids. DH is uptight anyway and quite snappy.

We were out for lunch and he had already snapped at me a few times. I suggested we went back to the hotel after lunch and both himself and DD snapped back at me. I said 'it's only a suggestion, the two of you are like barking dogs snapping at me'. He replied 'yeah and you are the mutt' (in front of the kids, who were shocked). He apologised a few mins later and said it was due the heat but he always blames something.

He then expects me to carry on like nothing has happened. I feel drained from him.

he sounds charming. Don’t put up with it.

Our of order comment! Even in times of stress and frustration there is a way of handling yourself. However we are on holiday, day 10 and I think we've all had enough of each other now. We're snappy, kids are emotional wrecks etc. maybe have an afternoon to yourself?

That’s not ok. Have you told him that he hurts your feelings? Does he always blame something or somebody else or does he take responsibility?
You only suggested something. It’s not up to you to keep everyone happy, you are not the ruler of the universe.

Only on day 4 here and defo no chance of an afternoon off

I'd be saying 'this mutts taking herself off for a very very long walk, see you whenever'
Turn your phone off and off you go, and don't rush back

Yeah I have told him it's upsetting and he'll say sorry but give a range of reasons as to why he said it

Why? Is he not capable of looking after his child for an afternoon?

See I would if it was just us two but the kids would get upset if I did

Drainedandconfused8 · Today 17:40
Jadech · Today 17:38
Our of order comment! Even in times of stress and frustration there is a way of handling yourself. However we are on holiday, day 10 and I think we've all had enough of each other now. We're snappy, kids are emotional wrecks etc. maybe have an afternoon to yourself?
Only on day 4 here and defo no chance of an afternoon off

Yes there is if you walk away

He is but don't think they are overly keen on his company either.

How old are they?

And I would but the kids will be left with him moaning and groaning

12 and 10

Old enough to understand that sometimes people need their own space

Yeah they are. I know an afternoon away won't solve anything for me though. Its overall how he speaks and acts

Would he snap like that at his boss, calling them a ‘mutt’ and expect his behaviour to be excused on grounds of the heat?

Very much doubt it.

He is also demonstrating to your dc that it’s ok to be disrespectful to you.

Nasty behaviour.

DH being a prick ✅

"he always blames something"

so why do you stay?

Tell him that you don’t want to be spoken to like that. It’s not ok for your dc to hear him, and it’s certainly not ok for you.
What do you want to do if he doesn’t stop? What are his good points?

do you want your kids to see you accepting behaviour like that?

do you want your kids to accept behaviour like that from their partners when they’re older?

or do you want to show them that it’s healthy to respect yourself and choose how you wish to react to people who treat you like that.

I thought you were going to say they were toddlers.

Go out for a couple of hours on your own. Just go. He can bloody well step up and parent his children, and so what if none of them like it without you there? Perhaps it will teach them to be nicer to you, and to each other.

Nah tell him to stop fucking treating you like dirt. It's not on. Go to the spa and leave him with the kids.

The more you let someone get away with crappy behaviour towards you the more they will do it
With all due respect I think you need to stop making excuses and grow a bit of a backbone
He's quite capable of parenting a 10 & a 12 year old whether they like him or not.
You are quite entitled to take yourself out of the situation to have some breathing space but it's whether you want to stop being a bit of a doormat and assert yourself. Only you know the answer to that one 🤷‍♀️

No he certainly wouldn't speak to his boss like tahti

I don't know. I suppose I always think things will improve. Then they don't