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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He's lying about new gf right?

92 replies

Cwytch · 17/08/2022 16:27

Long term lurker and regular name changer if I ever do post

Been in a ldr for 4 years, for various reasons it's not possible to live closer together at this point. Got to know each other just as he was relocating from our mutual city. We talk every day and see each other every 4-6 weeks, sometimes longer depending on schedules.

A few things over the months seemed
a bit odd.

He bought a 4 bed house moving from his city centre place to the suburbs, didn't say a word about it until the day before he was moving.

He started new business, I knew he wanted to, we talked about it. He launched it, didn't say a word about it until I saw it on insta.

His first follower was Anna, he followed her, and also with his private account. She is friends with a few of his friends.

I looked at her insta page, it's open not private. 1 photo of them together, taken 2 days ago. Only one post, just that, which he liked from business page

He sent me photos of something
on desk was letter when I zoom in it's her name at his address

I asked him direct, are you seeing someone, someone you are living with? He was quite cross, are you serious, Then forget it. That was yesterday. Nothing since.

I know they weren't together when we got together, but they are now right?

Other info, we live hundreds of miles apart, I travel a lot for work. We are late 30's she looks same age. I know I sound about 15

So now, I'm thinking maybe I'm wrong? Maybe they aren't? Should I make contact first? Maybe I hurt his feelings? Or maybe I'm an idiot.

I'm feeling a bit sad, so please don't be too robust

OP posts:
Jellytottss · 18/08/2022 21:19

@Sandra1984 I know right.....

Who are you calling OP? You either need to leave it or call Anna. Don't waste your time with any excuses from this man he's a liar clearly.

allboysherebutme · 18/08/2022 22:05

Are you sure it's not his wife ? X

Dazedandconfused0 · 18/08/2022 22:05

allboysherebutme · 18/08/2022 22:05

Are you sure it's not his wife ? X

Of course it is

ZenNudist · 18/08/2022 22:12

I'm sorry. It'd good of you to leave her out of it and probably more mature. Thing is, if I were Anna I'd want to know my partner was a louse.

Emmelina · 18/08/2022 22:16

Sounds like the house was actually bought together. I’m sorry op. He’s being defensive because he’s been found out Flowers

litterbird · 19/08/2022 08:59

Cwytch · 18/08/2022 20:18

It is weird.

I'm going to give a call now to clarify say goodbye whatever, anyway everything is over. I know this

How did the call go Cwytch?

Cwytch · 20/08/2022 19:01

litterbird · 19/08/2022 08:59

How did the call go Cwytch?

I didn't call in the end. He msg me yesterday, when he knew I had busy day at work, he was outraged at my accusation, didn't like my tone of voice. This from someone who was in armed forces, my tone of voice hurt his feelings? Basically putting everything one. What a dick.

He asked, what made me ask. I didnt even give anything about what I found out, I really just didnt see the point. I'm sure he would just come up with flimsy excuse.

I'm so mad at him. And disappointed at his lack of balls and respect. Really what a dick.

I doubt everything he ever said to me.

OP posts:
Cwytch · 20/08/2022 19:02

Basically putting everything on me. Damn lack of edit

OP posts:
category12 · 20/08/2022 19:07

Sorry he's behaved like that. Classic DARVO (deny accuse reverse victim & offender).

LivingDeadGirlUK · 21/08/2022 22:05

Sorry to hear that OP, but you have dodged a bullet there.

J0y · 22/08/2022 00:27

Yeh, Deny, Attack, Reverse victim and offender
Your tone hurt him!

Pinkbonbon · 22/08/2022 12:42

Think at this point I'd ju

Pinkbonbon · 22/08/2022 12:45

Posted too soon

I'd just message him that he was 'disappointing in every way, and a cheating coward. And - dumped'.

Then block.
That'll hit the narcissist where it hurts.

FetchezLaVache · 22/08/2022 12:48

If I were you I'd save a copy of the photo with the letter addressed to Anna circled in red, then email it to him, then block him everywhere.

Sandra1984 · 22/08/2022 12:54

FetchezLaVache · 22/08/2022 12:48

If I were you I'd save a copy of the photo with the letter addressed to Anna circled in red, then email it to him, then block him everywhere.

Nah, that’s giving him too much info (he would then have a great explanation as to why “Anna” is on the letter). Just dump his sorry as- and let him go nuts trying to figure out how and where his “perfect” cover blew up.

VerifiedBot2351 · 22/08/2022 14:11

So you didn’t contact her?

BestMammyEver · 22/08/2022 16:23

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