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Original poster

Old Marrieds - Do you still kiss/have a decent sex life

88 replies

Blossom4538 · 15/08/2022 21:33

I adore DH, but our sex life and kissing is none- existent. It makes me a little sad to be honest. Been together for over 20 years, married for over half of that.

OP posts:
dementedma · 15/08/2022 21:34

Nope. 35 years married and no physical contact at all.

LizzieSiddal · 15/08/2022 21:37

Yes we do, although there have been times due to illness, stress and grief that sex has been absent for a while, but kissing and cuddling has never gone. We’ve been together 34 years and married 33.

Floralnomad · 15/08/2022 21:41

Yep , together for 37 yrs , married for 33yrs and still have a physical relationship .

iliketartan · 15/08/2022 21:41

25 + years together and nope and nope. Don't even sleep in the same rooms at the moment but that's more down to the heat than lack of love. We love each other dearly but it's more a comfortable companionship than fireworks in the bedroom.

KangarooKenny · 15/08/2022 21:42

Nearly 30 years - sex life gone, no kissing , separate rooms.

RewildingAmbridge · 15/08/2022 21:43

We kiss daily and sex life is still decent, 4/5 times a month which with two full time jobs and a 3 year old is fine by me! That increases if ds stays with grandparents for a couple of days.
Don't really snog anymore other than as a precursor to sex.

autienotnaughty · 15/08/2022 21:47

We were 5/6 times a week for first couple of years!! Now once every month/six weeks

Beefilm · 15/08/2022 21:47

Over 30 years and no to both. It's my fault. Dh would be as rampant as ever but I just don't feel the desire for it anymore.

Mamadothehump · 15/08/2022 21:51

20 years married (both in our 40's). Quick peck on the lips every time we arrive/leave the house. Sex a couple of times a week on average. More if we/the kids are away.

Runningnewbie · 15/08/2022 21:52

15 years and no and no

countrygirl99 · 15/08/2022 21:52

Together 46 years, married 41. Sex once or twice a week and regular cuddles but I've never really been into snogging.

ImBoilingJackie · 15/08/2022 21:53

Menopause has sent my hormones into overdrive so yes, pretty physical in the last few months after a few years of libidont holding sway. Together 30 years, married foe the majority of them.
We have just been away camping where we had no privacy so now waiting for DC to go to sleep so we can 'catch up'.

Estwing · 15/08/2022 21:55

Together 30 years. Affectionate kissing and hugging several times a day. Sex/snog between once a week and once a month.

Had a few long periods of no sex and had to talk about it and make a conscious effort to do it. I think it's very easy to get out of the habit and then it gets awkward. It also seems to get a bit harder as you get older - menopause, erections, health issues, just not feeling very attractive or sexual. I think you have to talk about it and that's difficult for many couples, even if you get on well otherwise. But we found it was possible to get back into it after a long drought and are pretty happy with our sex life now.

Wombat27A · 15/08/2022 21:58

Estwing · 15/08/2022 21:55

Together 30 years. Affectionate kissing and hugging several times a day. Sex/snog between once a week and once a month.

Had a few long periods of no sex and had to talk about it and make a conscious effort to do it. I think it's very easy to get out of the habit and then it gets awkward. It also seems to get a bit harder as you get older - menopause, erections, health issues, just not feeling very attractive or sexual. I think you have to talk about it and that's difficult for many couples, even if you get on well otherwise. But we found it was possible to get back into it after a long drought and are pretty happy with our sex life now.

Pretty much this and agree it does need discussion.

The problems are worse if there's radio silence. If it's fairly good-natured, it's ok.

JanePrentiss · 15/08/2022 21:59

No. Tbh dh is turbo g into such a miserable twat I don't want to be near him. He is off work this week and it's obvious he likes the idea of spending time with dcs more than actually spending time with dcs.

They can sense he is miserable too. He just drains the joy out of things.

I'm very sad at times.

GretaVanFleet · 15/08/2022 22:03

Met DH ages 20 he was 23
Married 25 and 28
Sex life waned after children but then perked up again.
Waned again 2017/18 when we were about 47/50 we were in a sexless rut. Then one night we’d got into bed and I just told DH that I missed him and since then we’ve been fine, some weeks more than others. Kissing sometimes we do but not so much since DH grew a beard as my skin’s quite sensitive.

Inthe90sitwas · 15/08/2022 22:04

20+ yrs

Sex 1-4 times a month, usually all in the week I ovulate when I’m much more interested. It’s pretty good still.

Kisses/hugs/affection non-existent 😥

AdditionalCharacter · 15/08/2022 22:06

Been together 25+ years. We still kiss/cuddle every day. Sex varies between lots and not so much, depends on how one or the other is feeling. It's a bit hard being intimate when you have a house full of teenagers who don't seem to go to sleep until the early hours.

maslinpan · 15/08/2022 22:07

29 years together. Lots of physical affection, no snogging unless part of foreplay. Would have sex much more often if the teenagers were not always awake/in the house at the wrong time...

MissyB1 · 15/08/2022 22:09

We are mid 50s but only married for 14 years. We are quite affectionate physically and cuddle lots. Menopause has had a very negative hit on my libido and given me vaginal atrophy 😢 But we still have sex (not penetrative) once or twice week.

Estwing · 15/08/2022 22:09

maslinpan · 15/08/2022 22:07

29 years together. Lots of physical affection, no snogging unless part of foreplay. Would have sex much more often if the teenagers were not always awake/in the house at the wrong time...

Yep, student offspring home for lockdown was a drought for us!

AmberGer · 15/08/2022 22:25

Other people's sex lives have no bearing on yours.
If you're not happy. You need to discuss it and change, end it and move on or stay as you are.

balzamico · 15/08/2022 22:25

32 years together, sex definitely waning, not great when we do which is rare but are discovering we still get on well now our kids are leaving us.
Not overly affectionate, kiss hello, goodbye, and good night and hold hands when walking out for a night pour (not when walking dog).
Think I'd like more physical touch and definitely more compliments as confidence has definitely waned with menopause along with libido

Malad · 15/08/2022 22:32

20 yrs together, 13 married, 50’s and late 40’s. Teenager.

sex - pretty much non existent now. The odd drunken shag now and again.

kissing - pecks only although will kiss properly when rare sex occurs.

We get on well though and have a nice life so not too bothered. Menopause a passion killer anyway.

moggiek · 15/08/2022 22:34

Married 45 years. Sex 4/5 times a month.