Page 2 | Old Marrieds - Do you still kiss/have a decent sex life

Blossom4538 · 2022-08-15T20:33:50+00:00

I adore DH, but our sex life and kissing is none- existent. It makes me a little sad to be honest. Been together for over 20 years, married for over half of that.

MugginsOverEre · 15/08/2022 22:50

18 years now and a few years ago I found I needed to make a conscious effort to snuggle, cuddle, kiss, grab (or grope) my man because we had grown completely distant physically. Sex life was non existent and we sat on separate sofas. We did get on great but I realised that he wasn't going to touch me unless I was physical too. Now I tell him all the time how handsome he is, or that I love him and I will put my hands on him and he will come and give me cuddles when I'm washing up or whatever. Our sex life improved drastically and the relationship moved quickly back to lovey dovey with PDA instead of best mates living together.

pog100 · 15/08/2022 22:58

45 years, once a week or so. Not so much kissing but we never did.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 15/08/2022 23:06

We do. Married a year but together 20. Lots of kisses and sex is good. Sometimes we go a bit too long without but it's good when we do it.

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/08/2022 23:13

13 years (so not all that long..) but yes still regular / good sex life and affectionate.

We don’t have kids, but his two teens are often around. (We work around it 😁)

Peri-m has deffo clobbered my libido (well that and general stress), but I find that as long as we make a habit of it, I am up for it. I do have HRT on my list of things to do though.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 15/08/2022 23:13

Is it wrong that I'm reading this and feeling envious of the women who get to be happily married without having to provide regular sexual?! DH is pushing 50 and won't leave me alone. I'm tired and want a fucking break. Quite literally.

CuriositysCat · 15/08/2022 23:17

Married 19 years, been together 26. Sex is less frequent than it was, thanks to kids, work stress etc but it is still passionate and very varied. We would both rather have red hot sex once a fortnight than vanilla quickies every couple of days. We kiss and cuddle every day.

Cooroo · 15/08/2022 23:19

Together 20 years and now both early 60s

No sex for 8 years or more. I did try asking him once or twice and he said it was getting up early mornings for work put him off. Then we retired and nothing changed...

Honestly I'm not bothered. I give him a kiss or a hug sometimes. He never initiates even that. I'm not sure I'd know what to do sexually now. I masturbate when I feel like it (and am alone in the house!) and that's quick, fun and much less complicated!

But I sometimes wonder if it's very weird.

moggerhanger · 15/08/2022 23:24

Together 30 years but sex has dried up. I wish it hadn't but I've lost my mojo for it - seems like a lot of effort for little reward 😪 Otherwise we rub along pretty well.

vroom321 · 15/08/2022 23:24

26 years nope and nope

vroom321 · 15/08/2022 23:25

16* lol

ethelredonagoodday · 15/08/2022 23:26

Together 23 years, married 15, 2 school age kids, both mid-late 40s.
Kiss/cuddle probs most days, sex 1-2 per month, but DH got v high sex drive, so would be much more frequent if just up to him. When we do it though it is very good. Just can't always be bothered TBH!

ethelredonagoodday · 15/08/2022 23:27

As in we're both late 40s...not the kids! 🤣

kawa · 15/08/2022 23:39

Get yourself some Vagifem, pure game changer for baginal atrophy!!

BeBraveAndBeKind · 15/08/2022 23:43

Together 27 years and average about three times a week for sex and every day for kissing at the moment (although we're currently on holiday so it's a lot higher this week).

We've had times over the years where it's dropped away to almost nothing for one reason and another and that's needed some honest conversations and work to resolve.

sammyjoanne · 15/08/2022 23:45

Together 30 years married for 25. 46yrs and 49yrs.
Kiss peck on the lips when we go out to work, but sex usually happens when the house is free of the DD's who are 17 and 20(shes at uni).
Seems to be much harder to get the time free with our shift patterns, and the youngest doesnt sleep till late, but I imagine thats for every parent with older children.

bigtimer · 15/08/2022 23:47

43years married
No sex
No kissing
No cuddles
No affection
Separate bedrooms

Sydney0101 · 15/08/2022 23:52

I feel quite sad reading everyone's responses. I've been with my DH for 11+ years and at the start we couldn't keep our hands off each other. However, since having kids & I guess busy life we might have a quick peck but sex has been quite absent but I'm trying to work on it more with him. It's just sad though ti read all these couples together for so long and that sexual chemistry is gone. I wonder why this happens to so many couples

Original poster

Blossom4538 · 15/08/2022 23:54

Those without any or much sex at all and in separate bedrooms. How do you feel about it? We too are in separate rooms, as I find it hard to sleep in the same bed and he snores!

OP posts:

LittlePearl · 16/08/2022 00:00

Together 43 years, still kiss, cuddle, hold hands and hug.

Sex once every 7 to 10 days as an average. I don't always feel like it but make an effort because I think it strengthens the bond between us and I almost always enjoy it once we get going.

I would hate to give up on sex altogether and think it might be a case of 'use it or lose it'. I've noticed that if too many weeks go by without it (bereavement, illness, stress) I start feeling less connected to my OH and my libido drops. When we do it more often it seems to pick up.

SallyWD · 16/08/2022 00:01

Like you we've been together 20 years and married 10. We still have a good sex life. Admittedly we sometimes have dry periods of about 3 - 4 weeks when we're both too busy, tired etc. But then at other times we'll have sex more often. Last night we did it twice. We cuddle daily but don't really snog unless it's foreplay. Can't remember if we ever did snog much.

LittlePearl · 16/08/2022 00:09

Sydney0101 · 15/08/2022 23:52

I feel quite sad reading everyone's responses. I've been with my DH for 11+ years and at the start we couldn't keep our hands off each other. However, since having kids & I guess busy life we might have a quick peck but sex has been quite absent but I'm trying to work on it more with him. It's just sad though ti read all these couples together for so long and that sexual chemistry is gone. I wonder why this happens to so many couples

I think it's easy for life to get in the way and once you get out of the habit it's not always easy to start again.

If I feel distant from my OH I don't feel like having sex with him, but we've agreed it's important to both of us to keep sex alive in our relationship so we don't leave it until we're in the mood. Sometimes it's a bit of an act of will!

It probably sounds a bit unromantic but it seems to work for us.

Raera · 16/08/2022 00:14

40 years married. Kiss and cuddle a few times every day
Sex maybe once a fortnight which we plan in advance and both dress up , suits us very well. Very happy

Everyone's needs and tastes are different.

MangshorJhol · 16/08/2022 00:20

Together for 20 years. Married for 13.
Lots of affection. Not as much sex (we have two kids under 10 and FT jobs and we live with my in laws who are elderly and need help, so all in all we are pretty exhausted!).
DH is ok with the amount of sex we have (we have talked about it). I think hypothetically I would want more, but I am frequently just too tired. We do cuddle and kiss a lot though.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 16/08/2022 00:22

We've been together since we were teens. Next year we celebrate our Ruby anniversary. DH says of himself "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was!" The frequency may have diminished but the intensity is the same. We are in our 60's.

Stapleton143 · 16/08/2022 00:45

Comfortable companionship married 27 years, nope and nope, but sex was mostly always a one way street, with me pleasing him, and me left unsatisfied(that’s another thread).