Couples Counselling

[UnhappilyMarried]

Has anyone had couples counselling and found it beneficial?

Issues to address - communication and trust.

The biggest thing for me was when he said 'on a scale of 10, how much do you want to save the relationship' and when I couldn't answer 10, he told me it would only work if I was fully committed to making it work. The second time counselling was on the table, I realised that I would never answer 10 to that question and therefore that it would never work.

On another note, if trust is an issue, there needs to be a commitment from both sides for complete openness during the counselling process. My now ex basically used counselling as a way to make me blame myself for what had happened while admitting none of the responsibility. The second time he suggested it, I said he had to prove to me first that he was going to be totally honest. He opted for separation instead. Lol

Thanks @bigspoonlittlespoon to be honest, I couldn't answer 10 to that question but I'm not sure if that's because of the issues in our relationship. I was thinking that maybe if we started to work on them and things improved that that might change.

What I don't want is to pay a fortune for someone to sit, listen and nod. I want someone impartial to help us see things from each other's point of view and give us the tools to improve things. Not sure if I'm expecting too much. I've had counselling before but that was for a personal issue, not relationship related and I found that a really positive experience.