Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

FURIOUS my mum cut my sons hair...then lied about it!

85 replies

Thewompingwillow · 11/08/2022 22:01

Background: I have a 14mo LB who has beautiful long blonde curly hair, it really is gorgeous, typical beachy / wild child look. Both his dad and I agreed we wouldn't have it cut until much older, it was fairly long in the fringe but not bothering him or affecting his vision.

I have a bad relationship with my mum at the best of times as she has a habit of breaking boundaries and doing absolutely abhorrent ridiculous stuff that you could never imagine doing to your own child. I didn't have a relationship with her for years until my son was born and I thought I would give her chance to have a relationship with her only grandchild, up until now it was going well and she seemed to be really trying hard. She had made a few remarks about DS hair but I had explained all of the above.

She looked after him for an hour today while I had an appointment. I got home and first thing I say is "you have cut his hair". It is glaringly obvious as his fringe is now above his eyebrows on one side and completely straight. She denies it and says "I would never do that, I know how much it means to you". I tell her I can obviously see its been cut and she continues to deny it. When she leaves I go to look at the kitchen scissors and find them covered in hair clippings. I then look in the bin and find the clumps of hair. I then notice my son is missing curls from the back of his head and has a bald patch where some curls have been cut off at the scalp.

I'm so upset. I was the only one in my family with curly hair so no one knew how to manage it properly and I hated it. I can now look after mine beautifully and look after my sons beautifully too, his hair is very precious to me. His first haircut was the last milestone card we had left to complete and now that has been taken from me! She even threw the hair in the bin! I presume she has kept the curls for herself. I feel so betrayed by her. We have sent her proof but she is still denying it. I'm so astounded!

OP posts:
Deathraystare · 15/02/2023 15:24

Stop being so hysterical. It will grow back.

Not the point, is it?

The mother oversteps boundaries. Not her place to cut the child's hair.

ItchyBillco · 15/02/2023 15:38

She is a witch. Time to sever that relationship with her, she is totally unable to be trusted.

Vallmo47 · 15/02/2023 15:41

What a bitch. This is a really shitty thing to do and then she’s also lied to you. I’d be done. Sorry OP, this sucks. You can’t even trust your own mum.

OriginalUsername2 · 15/02/2023 15:43

I get what you mean OP. It’s almost chilling that she would do that to him and you and lie about it. I’d never leave her alone with him again.

Pinkbonbon · 15/02/2023 16:08

Don't leave your kids with nasty people. Hell, dint let them around your kids full stop. Ever.

TeaFagsand · 15/02/2023 22:05

My dad decided once that he didn't approve of my ds (3 yrs) having long dark curls do he took him to the barbers. I hit the roof.

I actually got support from my mum but basically I told him it was none of his beeswax. (Not verbatim) He also horned on in on ds wearing nail varnish and wearing jewellery when older. When my brother and I were small he left the raising to Mum. Just because he's suddenly retired didn't mean he could step in. Stand your ground.

Snooozername · 15/02/2023 22:09

Gutted for you. I'd feel exactly the same. I'm so sorry. Just awful. I'd never forgive it.

musicalgymball · 16/02/2023 05:09

She sounds a bit unhinged to be honest.

Someone who lies about what they do with your child should never ever be left in charge of a 14 month old.

I would go no contact.

I am astounded by people saying you're overreacting and who actually think it's ok to leave their child with someone they don't trust like that.

SecretVictoria · 16/02/2023 05:17

YANBU about trust.

YABU about “milestone cards” whatever they are. It’s just hair.

Fraaahnces · 16/02/2023 05:30

I would leave a note on her bench with the scissors, the remaining hair from the bin saying “Enough lies - you’re not even kidding yourself. That was the last straw. That curl is going to be the last precious memory you will take from me and my son. Hope it was worth it.”

This is bringing back memories of my mum too. Also anaphylactic. She made my kids pasta pesto and was offended when I told her that DS couldn’t have it due to the pine nuts. Her response - “Pine nuts aren’t nuts!” and she started pushing a spoonful towards him to prove it. Wondered why I smacked her hand out of the way.
Come to think of it, she also made a special meal of couscous for my aunt and so even though we both have coeliac disease. Mad.

She’s no longer with us, but these are just small examples of sheer batshittery.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page