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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Absolutely dreading tomorrow. Just need a hand hold

59 replies

scarhead97 · 10/08/2022 18:37

Tomorrow is going to be awful ☹️
I know this will all sound really trivial but it’s only been 8 weeks since I was dumped by someone I thought I was going to grow old with. I adore him and still do. There’s been no contact since.

Tomorrow I am travelling to attend a wedding 6 hours away. I don’t really know anyone else at this wedding.

Me and my ex were meant to go together, travel up together. We were going to make a holiday of it as it’s in a beautiful location.

Tomorrow is also what was meant to be our one year anniversary. So was going to be a mini holiday celebration. We were so excited.

Now I’m going to be travelling up alone, for 6 hours in the car. Getting to the hotel on my own and being by myself at the wedding. None of my friends could get the time off work to come.
Not to mention that I’ll just be remembering the date, and what it was supposed to be ☹️

I’m absolutely dreading it and feel so lonely.

OP posts:
Marluuu · 10/08/2022 19:01

I'm so sorry, this is tough…I hope you will feel better soon, take good care of yourself 🌸

Original poster
scarhead97 · 10/08/2022 19:07

Thank you so much @Marluuu how kind 🌸

OP posts:
Lozzerbmc · 10/08/2022 19:12

Thats a really difficult thing to have to do however you will get through it. Does hotel have a spa ? could you treat yourself to a treatment?

ImAvingOops · 10/08/2022 19:18

Whose wedding is it? If not a really close relation, I'd be ill tomorrow and not go.

Kottontail · 10/08/2022 19:20

Oh, that's awful. Sorry to hear this. You are so brave to go alone. Is there any chance to reconcile if you still love him?

Chamomileteaplease · 10/08/2022 19:24

Whose wedding is it?

I'll be honest, I think going to a wedding on your own if you don't know anyone is bloody tough. And triple that if you are broken hearted.

Do you really have to go?
And if you really do, are there any other singletons who the bride could pair you up with - I mean female or male, just so you can have company?

Original poster
scarhead97 · 10/08/2022 19:30

I really did consider not going, but she’s a really close mate (but from my old job, so I don’t know anyone!) and I think, why shouldn’t I go and enjoy it? I’ll just be doing nothing anyway. I just hope it’ll be okay.

@Kottontail believe me I’d love to! But he said it wasn’t going to happen and we haven’t spoken in 5 weeks ☹️

OP posts:
Dotcheck · 10/08/2022 19:34

Give yourself a pass to leave early/ duck out if you need to. Can you upgrade your room? Or make it special for yourself in some way?

ThinkingaboutLangClegosaurus · 10/08/2022 20:39

My boring advice is to be very careful not to drink too much. It really seems to help when you have the first few, especially when you're on your own and very sad. But oh god, so horribly easy to get pissed out of your brain, make a fool of yourself and what a disaster when you wake up, possibly with someone you'd never sleep with sober. I'm sure you can tell I'm speaking from experience.

Actually I would make an excuse and not go. Serously, send a lovely card with apologies, and spend the day doing something that cheers you up.

Whatever you do, I hope it turns out well for you.

Lookingoutside · 10/08/2022 21:11

I think you’re about to test positive for Covid OP. Seriously fuck that. You don’t have to go.

I’m sure you could send your friend a present and celebrate with her another time.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/08/2022 21:15

I'd look at this as a fresh start, a chance to meet new people and have fun.

Break-ups are hard, but life marches on. You might as well try to enjoy yourself.

ItWasJustifiedHeWasACunt · 10/08/2022 21:18

Honestly I would pull out x

Calyx72 · 10/08/2022 21:22

Another OMG seriously don't go here.

What's in it for you?

6 HOURS in the car alone
Wedding alone where you only know the bride and aren't involved in the wedding party

Please cancel and treat yourself instead

KeepYaHeadUp · 10/08/2022 21:25

I presume you've decided you have to go, OP, so won't add to the chorus of "don't gos!" Where is it? Maybe we can suggest something you can do on the way/while you're there to cheer you up!

Staynow · 10/08/2022 21:26

Don't do it to please someone else, if you don't want to go don't go. But if you're up to being sociable and meeting new people and think it might be fun then go for it!

YoSofi · 10/08/2022 21:28

I would actually go.

Yes it will be hard, but if all gets too much you can bow out early and treat yourself to a nice bath and an early night at the hotel. That’s the worst case scenario.

Best case is you have a good time and meet new people, male or female.

I hope you manage to have a lovely time OP, sounds like you really deserve some fun x

ClocksGoingBackwards · 10/08/2022 21:28

Well done for still making the effort to go! If you go, there’s a chance you might enjoy some of it at least, if you don’t go you’ll still be sad and you’d feel guilty about your friend.

Go and make your best effort. If you’re alone or not enjoying yourself, sneak out and enjoy your hotel room instead.

NiqueNique · 10/08/2022 21:29

I actually think you’re doing the right thing in going - as you said, she’s a good friend, and you might actually enjoy yourself. Life is too short to not do the brave thing! Of course you’ll be okay, even if some bits are difficult. Flowers

Toddlerteaplease · 10/08/2022 21:30

Don't be so flakey and go. I'd not be happy if I'd paid good money for your place and you pulled out last minute for that reason. And I say that as someone who never had anyone to take to a wedding.

fghj149 · 10/08/2022 21:36

I got married not long ago. If one of my friends pulled out for the same reason as you, I would honestly understand and not be angry with them. If you’re dead set on going there is nothing stopping you from showing face and leaving once you’ve had enough xx

Kitsmummy · 10/08/2022 21:40

I was basically in this situation about 8 years ago.

I went, had a shit time, tripped on my platform shoes, fell flat on my face, burst into tears and ran to my bedroom.

Don't go.

Mothstoaflame · 10/08/2022 21:45

Oh gosh, I really understand this. My ex broke up with me 3 weeks before a big wedding weekend we'd both been looking forward to for ages. We'd booked accommodation, I had my outfit and everything. I was utterly broken hearted and decided I couldn't go. I explained it all to the bride and she understood. Instead I booked myself a last minute (surprisingly cheap!!) flight to the US to go and see friends. I spent 2 weeks sitting by their pool, reading, drinking wine and eating too much. It restored my soul in ways I didn't think possible.

If you're going out of any sense of obligation, don't go. If you're going because somehow you know you need to do this, then go for it!

Isittrueornot · 10/08/2022 22:02

Don’t pull out, go!! You could meet the love of your life there, but if not you would have a great time and it’s got to be better than sitting home alone surly.

Ill be thinking of you and wishing you well.

cafenoirbiscuit · 10/08/2022 22:07

I’d go. You’re just going to sit at home and feel miserable plus guilty too if you don’t. At this stage it’s all about filling your time and faking it till you make it. Treat yourself to a nice book to read in the hotel and maybe breakfast in bed.

Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 10/08/2022 22:09

@scarhead97 oh my god- this is a lot to deal with. You poor love, if you get through this you will an absolute hero. Number one priority is to keep it together (publicly) if you feel lonely, or you’re struggling to avoid him come back to MN for another handhold. It will all be over soon and you can feel better again. 💐