Blacklisted???

[Asti4ever]

Is it normal to be Black listed from your own Family and girlfriends, if you are the one initiating divorce ?
A Month ago i told my husband of 12 years i wanted divorce . Sunday i moved with my 14 year Old daughter. I am really sad, this is not what i wanted But i see no choice.
Yesterday we both Got corona 😣 fuck we are sick!
Have been texting to my mom, girlfriends and some cousins - But only at my initiation. Havent heard from anyone since monday. I fewl so alone and so hurt. Not sure if it is stupid to feel this Way.
Hes blocked me everywhere But remain friends with all my friends and Family.
Not even my sister has called me 😣 tell me to get a grip??

Anyone please ?

Wow that's a real kick in the teeth. Presumably he's been getting his version of events out and you're not coming out well. Sorry. No real advice but maybe fight fire with fire and explain what you've done.

I know he has been talking to Family. My cousin was coming to borrow my car for a week and i was in a meating. Dh went out and i Saw Them talking for 45 minuts. Car is returned, washed and full - But not a Word.
My girlfriends - from before him! - still write Nice things to his pictures on Facebook and i just Lie here, feeling sorry for myself.
My daughter is ok - even though he hasnt asked how she is (he took covid 19 test, so he know she is sick) / But asked HER if we could have dear dog. (Knowing we cant!)
Im just about to delete Them all!!
Please tell me it is me!!

Have you attempted to talk to any of them about what is happening?

Can I also ask the circumstances of your separation? Why have you left?

I left because he was a gigant sex pest , moody, easily angry, sulking and could not speak about it. I have tried so many years .
It just occurred to me one day - i dont have to sleep with him, ever again. I Can have my own bedroom.
So i told him, Got a flat within a month and we left.
Yes i have told friends and Family why. "But we dont know that side of him" "But you all seemed so happy"
And daughter and me are in our new flat, boxes and furniture everywhere and i feel so lonely!!!

Not because i miss him! 😂 i dont. But because i dont understand why nobody check up on me.. i have done. I have been supporting Family and friends going through sickness and break ups / why are they so silent?

Shit @Asti4ever I remember that feeling. You must be going through sheer hell. Same thing happened to me. I couldn't understand it at the time either. Later on I found out that he had been badmouthing me. Actually lying about me but he was clever to base the lies in truths, IYSWIM, so it was believable.
What got to me the most was how many people fall for this. But I tell you what, it sorts the wheat from the chaff as you'll find there will be someone who will contact you, eventually.
When it happened to me I would cry every day for months. Eventually I learned to just sit with the upset and the loneliness and just accept that it would pass. But if I hadn't have had DC I probably would have ended my life, that's how bad it felt, so I know what you're going through. Keep strong.

Im sure he has badmouthed me.. But for my own Family and close friends to believe it without checking In on me? Unbrlieveble!

Yeah people are seeing you as the bad guy here.

Have you spoken to your family to ask why they are ignoring you?

No.. i dont feel brave and i also feel so hurt. And im sick with boxes everywhere .
Just wanted to know what you guys would do...

Oh my love, you think it's unbelievable? Think again. Some people (him?) are so manipulative, so skilled in those sorts of techniques that it genuinely works, even on your own family members.
It's crazy because if you protest, you just dig yourself deeper. You need to remain being the same old you, which is so hard when you're so upset, I know. If you would contact family members or friends normally, then contact them as normal. If they don't reply, ask them directly why they are not replying.
Remain composed.
Do not bad-mouth him. Do not suggest to anyone that he has bad-mouthed you.
It will pass but it will be absolute shit before it does.

Thanks... i feel the need to Block everybody 😣

Do not block anyone. It will get better. There is a reason they are not contacting you.
I feel your frustration but stick with it.

A reason?

A reason, yes.
He's said something, he's given an impression. They aren't seeing the real situation. He might even have told them you want to be left alone!

So i just have to wait and Then ask Them, if i eventually contact me?

• and he actually did this to my daughters grandmother! Told her i wanted to be left alone for 2 weeks. (??) / i called her, unknowingly - and she told me..

im just so hurt / not even a text 😣

Not to mention i just moved and within 24 hours both me and my daughter tested positive for corona. Nobody Care how my daughter is??

But why would they be interested in anything her ex is saying?

If he has said that she wants to be left alone why would they take his word-they aren't together anymore!!

Why would they be interested in anything her ex is saying is the sort of question that everyone asks. It's unbelievable isn't it?
It's only when you realise how manipulative some people can be that you actually begin to understand that this is more than possible.

Im really hurt and dissapointed! Close Family , 20/30 year Old friendships.
Why oh why dont they check with me!!

Even her own mum though?

I mean even if she still thinks her SIL is great & Op's reasons for leaving are shit-why would she cut her off?

Tbh if they really are taking his side/don't believe you because they never saw that side of him then you are better off without them.

As is your daughter.

I told her this morning we both tested positive for covid 19. She Saw message and did not reply. Usually i talk to my mom everyday.
When i told her i wanted divorce - she Said she did not understand and did not want to be involved! Well thanks mom!

Sorry you're going through this. I had similar with my divorce - I was considered the bad person and received little support. Now 4 years later ExH has shown multiple times when an absolute let down he is and has failed to be a parent to our 2 kids. Now my family see the truth. I am still hurt by their lack of support but have proved myself capable of being independent and extremely resilient

I feel like ditching Them all.. we are sick, new flat 3 days ago - and nobody checking in??
I havent posted about being sick But i sort of Think it is irrelevant .. they know we moved out!