I'm pregnant and unmarried - should I sign a deed of trust on our new house

[Bonnie2023]

Hello,

I'm in a bit of a pickle and wondered if anyone is able to offer any advice.

I bought a house with my boyfriend a few months ago. We have moved in and it's perfect. Given he put a fair whack down as a deposit, I signed a deed of trust. I think it's only fair that he gets that back if we break up and sell the house.

However, I have fallen pregnant. It wasn't the plan, I wanted to get married before we started to think about babies but sometimes, life happens. We are both really happy and feel really lucky. When I found out, the deed of trust was on my mind. He didn't offer to scrap it, even when I raised concerns

Really ? In most couples I know, all childcare costs come out of her wages. You see it all the time on here

“ There’s no point in my going back to work because I only earn 1.5k and childcare will be 1.2k. I’d be working for 300 a month “.

And all responsibility for finding and arranging childcare is hers too. If the childminder is off sick, the mum has to take a day off, not the dad. Same if the child is off sick.

And it’s mostly mums who do pick up and drop off. dads will “ help out “ when they can.

Aren't those things a couple should hash out between them BEFORE deciding to have children? Almost every couple I know did. Lack of communication causes a lot of problems.

You think.

A lot of men on MN apparently say one thing with zero follow through.

Some women are naive in their hopefulness that their men will step up.....but on MN they often don't.

Absolute financial disaster for the women.