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Original poster

He told me he would pay me for sex

104 replies

crocsRecool · 02/08/2022 14:28

Hello
I’ve recently have been seeing a guy, we’re exclusive and I really really like him.

Recently we have slept together, and he was texting me today saying he would pay me to do that again. He said me being on top was amazing and he would pay a specific amount for me to do today. I feel yuck, my friend has said I’m being fussy but I feel like it means he’s done it before?

OP posts:
Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 02/08/2022 15:44

I wouldn't have anything to do with a man who thinks he can buy sexual consent. I mean obviously you can, but if that's your definition of consent, I don't want you anywhere near me.

larkstar · 02/08/2022 15:45

It seems to me that in his mind - it appeals to him to build this image of you as a prostitute - that's what he's looking for. How many dates have you been on - how long have you known him? It's irrelevant really - just pull the plug on this kerb crawler.

Idontthink · 02/08/2022 15:47

If he took you out and paid for the night out meal, cinema, drinks and then you had sex how is that different from him paying you to have sex? It’s all a monetary exchange just paid differently

id block and delete if I was in your position

AverageJoan · 02/08/2022 15:47

I feel like if someone said this to me I would think it was a bad joke and move on. Why don't you just tell him the comment has made you uncomfortable?

Antigonesaunt · 02/08/2022 15:49

Maybe it was a clumsy attempt at a compliment, maybe he usually has sex with prostitutes, either way it would give me the major ick

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/08/2022 15:53

The weirdly specific amount manages to be creepy and insulting at the same time. Kudos to him for fitting two red flags into such a short statement.

Drop him like he's hot.

Mennex · 02/08/2022 15:54

isn't £130 about what a prostitute costs?

this would be a red flag for me - that he's into prostitutes which is a hard no for me.

I think there's a big difference between saying god that was so good I'd pay money for it and I'd pay you what a prostitute costs to do that again.

oobeedoobee · 02/08/2022 15:55

WTAF ??

That's seriously creepy and weird, HUGE red bloody flags waving for me !!!

He's effectively cast you into the role of prostitute in his mind (and maybe wants it to be true in reality too 😱)

So he'll never view you as anything other than a bought and paid for 'service' FFS!!!!!

Any guy who had that low an opinion of me (or any bloody woman) is NOT relationship material ! Ever ! 😡

britneyisfree · 02/08/2022 15:59

Sandra1984 · 02/08/2022 15:34

Ask him for 300 hundred, 130 is shit.

🤣🤣🤣

catandcoffee · 02/08/2022 16:02

Regardless of him paying for sex , how fucking disrespectful to you.
Your friend needs to aim higher, as she has a low opinion of herself.

2bazookas · 02/08/2022 16:04

He's telling you he's only interested in sex. so he'd rather pay you to perform (like a prostitute) than go to all the trouble and expence of spending a day/evening in your company/on a date/having to talk to you.

Tell him he can't afford you and btw, the STI clinic wants him to make an appointment (all free on the NHS).

Stargazinggal · 02/08/2022 16:06

Erm one’s called romance and the other prostitution

I would get rid, if nothing else, he has a terrible sense of humour

Stargazinggal · 02/08/2022 16:07

@Idontthink

johnd2 · 02/08/2022 16:08

Why not talk to him, clearly it's not ok with you so let him know. If he says ok I won't do that again and sticks to it then jobs a good one.
But if he doesn't, or you can't forget it anyway and it's too much to come back from, then you'll have to end it.
There's no right answer, it depends on you.

In terms of motivation, maybe his upbringing was all very transactional, have a sweet for using the potty, have 50p for cleaning your room, have a holiday for passing your exams. Might be worth asking.

midlifecrash · 02/08/2022 16:10

A specific amount like that is not a clumsy “that sex was good enough for Jehovah”. It really sounds like he wants to control and commodify how you have sex…

partly wondering how far he goes with this now “oh I’ve knocked off £10 because you had to open the door for a parcel” but god forbid you or anyone else has to find out

yellowsmileyface · 02/08/2022 16:11

If he took you out and paid for the night out meal, cinema, drinks and then you had sex how is that different from him paying you to have sex?

Not sure if you're being serious or not, but the idea that women owe men sex if he pays for dates is exactly the attitude women need to fight against.

Paying for dates and having sex should be two unrelated things. It should never be an exchange in a loving, respectful relationship.

Marineboy67 · 02/08/2022 16:31

I had an ex that had an arrangement with a man that would do DIY jobs around the house in exchange for 'sexual favours'....tacky to say the least. Pretty grim though offering you cash for a 'Cowgirl'. Hope your going to be telling him to fuck right off out of it!

dworky · 02/08/2022 16:37

He's doing it to undermine you. Tell him to do one.

Fairislefandango · 02/08/2022 16:39

Red flag. Dump immediately.

PiffleWiffleWoozle · 02/08/2022 16:45

Massive red flag. Walk away now.

redbigbananafeet · 02/08/2022 16:58

Idontthink · 02/08/2022 15:47

If he took you out and paid for the night out meal, cinema, drinks and then you had sex how is that different from him paying you to have sex? It’s all a monetary exchange just paid differently

id block and delete if I was in your position

Because one example is paying for my pasta and the other is paying for access to my vagina.

Wonnle · 02/08/2022 17:04

for me to do today ?

Sandra1984 · 02/08/2022 17:13

redbigbananafeet · 02/08/2022 16:58

Because one example is paying for my pasta and the other is paying for access to my vagina.

Show quote history

He's paying for your pasta as a way of gaining access to your vagina. It's a more subtle way of paying for sex that I agree.

side note: I'm having a major issue with the authenticity of this thread because any normal/mundane woman when faced with such a cringe question by the guy they are exclusive and sleeping with would either a) ran away in the opposite direction thinking he's a creep or b) plain ask him "Why would you want to pay for something you're getting for free?", the OP however did none of that and just opened a thread on MN instead of asking him.🤔

And now me thinks this is some journo who wants to find out how many of us civil ladies would be willing to charge for sex or something in the lines of, otherwise it makes no sense.

RosieRoww · 02/08/2022 17:26

Sandra1984 · 02/08/2022 15:34

Ask him for 300 hundred, 130 is shit.

😂😂😂

Weirdlynormal · 02/08/2022 17:27

Tell him he missed a fucking '0' off the end of that, then block. Weird and cheap 😂