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Original poster

Son wants to fight in Ukraine ! how do i stop him!

56 replies

skyblueeyez · 27/07/2022 18:52

i blame his nan for putting all these stories of patriotism in his head. Her father fought for the Spanish in their civil war (and claims he met George Orwell their! dont know if thats a tall story) and she keeps telling them how Putin is the new Hitler and Crimea is meant to be the new sudenland austria or something. she fills his head with stories my grandad and brothers who were caught by the italians, casserine, or monto casino or somewhere in the desert war and had their ships hit.

He's 22, and i have another son 20 and i've raised them mostly alone as a single mother during the last 10 years. it was extremely tough i worked nights shifts, lunch lady, doing door to door avon. their dad left them and he had racked up a massive phone bill that i had to pay off.

part of it is the 22 yo has been on stags to eastern europe and reckons he "must do his bit" he's always outgoing helping people and is really into his martial arts thingy he does. he qualified as a mechanic but is hopping from one place to another at the mo. he's got mates that are from poland i think in his karate/fighting class and really loves their culture, always going on drinking partying with them.

its absolutely awful with whats going on over their and i fully support europe getting together to stop this maniac. but he's my son and even when he stays out friday nights i can't sleep a wink until he comes home. also i must mention one of his mate is black and god forbid if he got captured by them monsters and what they'd do to him. he's like a son to me and is always around our place.

obviously we can't control our children or tie them in up chains but i think i can persuade him not to go as he's not booked any flights or really prepared.

i said today "thank you very fking much nan you and your uncle arthur stories"
she just grumbled in her chair.

any ideas i'm at my wits end. imagine if the worst did happen. last night i couldnt sleep tossing and turning. i called his dad and he didn't seem really interested and said "nah he aint gonna do it he aint got the bottle".

OP posts:
accentdusoleil · 27/07/2022 18:58

Why doesn't he help with the refugees here ? I'm sure your local area with have centres etc.

PersonaNonGarter · 27/07/2022 19:00

Just join the British Army. They are helping Ukrainians here by training them.

Blinkingmarvellous · 27/07/2022 19:01

He won't be much use with no training. He could join the British army instead

Original poster
skyblueeyez · 27/07/2022 19:08

Blinkingmarvellous · 27/07/2022 19:01

He won't be much use with no training. He could join the British army instead

if he listened to me i would be in a happy place. i am hoping these ideas peter out but each time he listens to the news he gets more wound up. no mum wants to send their kid to die and i know people have their beliefs like spanish civil war and world wars because these were truly sick, evil governments that someone had to stop like Adolf Hitler.
i am hoping he changes his mind and his mates too. i think part of it is proving themselves.

OP posts:
Hotenoughtoburnasausage · 27/07/2022 19:13

My ds is a solider currently in Poland. I won't lie it's terrifying..

verytired42 · 27/07/2022 19:15

Give him a copy of Homage to Catalonia and tell him you’ll discuss again after he’s read it. Particularly the bits about inadequate weapons, lice, rats and the bit where he gets shot.

EverythingHeadinSouth · 27/07/2022 19:17

I've read several times that Ukraine's foreign legion is only accepting volunteers with military experience. I wouldn't worry if I were you. Even if he finds the motivation to get there he will almost certainly be turned away.

Okeydoky · 27/07/2022 19:21

The Ukrainian military has a massive shortage of crucial things like body armour. Perhaps you could focus his mind on what that means for him on a personal level by encouraging him to fundraise for such things and help arrange deliveries of them? That would also channel his energy of wanting to help without actually fighting.

Georgeskitchen · 27/07/2022 19:22

Best advice is join the British army.
Then if he does get sent to warzones he will have the protection of the British government. If he goes it alone he will be back soon enough, unless he is kidnapped by the Russians, then he may not make it out alive.
He might think he's being brave and noble but it's no good being brave and noble when your in a wooden box.

popcornfrenzy · 27/07/2022 19:23

Please discourage this as people who want to do their bit are putting the real soldiers in danger. I'm ex-forces myself and know a few guys who are out there. They are despairing of these wannabes who are getting killed unnecessarily. Get him to raise awareness or maybe welcome a Ukrainian family into your home.

BlodynGwyn · 27/07/2022 19:31

He needs to learn the history of the region before he goes off and fights.

Pixiedust878 · 27/07/2022 19:32

Does he want to join the army properly or just trot over on his own and play heroes? If it’s the second one, I’d cut up his passport.

Original poster
skyblueeyez · 27/07/2022 19:37

EverythingHeadinSouth · 27/07/2022 19:17

I've read several times that Ukraine's foreign legion is only accepting volunteers with military experience. I wouldn't worry if I were you. Even if he finds the motivation to get there he will almost certainly be turned away.

glad to hear this. i didn't know.

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 27/07/2022 19:39

I suppose he's aware of the men who have been sentenced to death by Russia?

Irridescantshimmmer · 27/07/2022 19:42

Remind him of the 2 English guys who are on death row.

Bellyups · 27/07/2022 19:45

He needs to join the British Army then. Ransoms going over to ‘help’ are most
often hooligans that love an excuse
to have a fight

Bellyups · 27/07/2022 19:45

*randoms

Heatstrokeunsteady · 27/07/2022 19:47

Nick his passport

BlodynGwyn · 27/07/2022 19:50

Someone in the nearby town (US) went off to fight for Ukraine early on.

He managed to post on Facebook several times while there. He wrote they were fed watery porridge twice a day and they lost weight and muscle mass. The drinking water had to be filtered as it was filthy. They had little instruction/support and were not well armed. They were told more than once by their commander they didn't want them there and to 'go home'.

Tell your son to learn the history of the region and why Russia, right or wrong, is doing this. Look at videos of Ukraine wrapping Russian speaking men, women and children with cling wrap to lamp posts to strip and beat them. Find out what happened in 2014 - 2022 in Donbas and Donetsk. Russians believes they are liberating the region from 'Nazis'.

I am by no means an expert, not at all, but I know enough to know that there is more to this than western media is showing us.

NotMeNoNo · 27/07/2022 19:54

I'm in a FB group with one of Dylan Healy's family members, he was captured by Russians with Paul Urey who recently died in the prison. And they were only aid workers, accused of being mercenaries. These are real people with real families. I suggest he just looks up those couple of names.

Also, they really don't need inexperienced young guys out there, they would do more harm than good.

Original poster
skyblueeyez · 27/07/2022 19:55

BlodynGwyn · 27/07/2022 19:50

Someone in the nearby town (US) went off to fight for Ukraine early on.

He managed to post on Facebook several times while there. He wrote they were fed watery porridge twice a day and they lost weight and muscle mass. The drinking water had to be filtered as it was filthy. They had little instruction/support and were not well armed. They were told more than once by their commander they didn't want them there and to 'go home'.

Tell your son to learn the history of the region and why Russia, right or wrong, is doing this. Look at videos of Ukraine wrapping Russian speaking men, women and children with cling wrap to lamp posts to strip and beat them. Find out what happened in 2014 - 2022 in Donbas and Donetsk. Russians believes they are liberating the region from 'Nazis'.

I am by no means an expert, not at all, but I know enough to know that there is more to this than western media is showing us.

never knew people here supported russia. i'm not political but it seems by your name you're welsh am i right?
what are you doing supporting Putin, is he buying up the steal mills in wales and offering you a job?
Look entire cities that have been turned to rubble, its not hard to see who the agggressors are.

OP posts:
Perple · 27/07/2022 19:58

@BlodynGwyn you are very far from an expert. All you are is passing on crappy propaganda created for people with limited knowledge and intelligence.

there is indeed a complex political history. But Russia is committing war crimes on a vast scale.

lessthanathirdofanacre · 27/07/2022 20:00

Tell your son to learn the history of the region and why Russia, right or wrong, is doing this.

Oh, please. Give me a break. There is no justification for Russia's brutal war of aggression. None.

OP, tell your son that if he does manage to get attached to a Ukrainian military unit, he will only get himself killed. They really don't need untrained guys who want to play soldier (and probably don't speak a word of Ukrainian). If he wants to embark on a military career, let him join the army in his own country.

Original poster
skyblueeyez · 27/07/2022 20:04

lessthanathirdofanacre · 27/07/2022 20:00

Tell your son to learn the history of the region and why Russia, right or wrong, is doing this.

Oh, please. Give me a break. There is no justification for Russia's brutal war of aggression. None.

OP, tell your son that if he does manage to get attached to a Ukrainian military unit, he will only get himself killed. They really don't need untrained guys who want to play soldier (and probably don't speak a word of Ukrainian). If he wants to embark on a military career, let him join the army in his own country.

Thanks. i've mentioned all this to him, but its too hear they dont take unskilled people. even if he makes it their they'll send him back. he's got it in his head that this is a good v evil struggle like Hitler's time and he's got to make his mark.
the stupid boy.
but i disagree with the Welsh poster who seems to have taken a shine to Vladdy.
entire cities demolished with heavy cannons, people fleeing, maternity units, schools destroyed.
what is their to see. its simple black and white. Russia = evil, ukraine = fighting for their country.

OP posts:
Perple · 27/07/2022 20:07

I agree it’s about explaining how he can actually help - explain to him with president z has been spending so much of his time doing talks, social media etc - it’s because the expertise and other types of support that is needed from the west.

get him to help with some refugees, fundraising etc - explain that what the men fighting would want to know is that their families were being looked after.

trust me there would be a LOT of Ukrainian women and children in this country who are not safe and secure