Dating again as a widow

[Candleabra]

My husband died 4 years ago. I’ve had no inclination or time to even look at another man. But I met someone nice this week (a non starter for a million reasons). Anyway, it was nice to have some feelings again, and made me realise how completely lonely I am and I would like to meet someone else.
I’m mid 40s, where do I start? I don’t want to meet someone at work. I imagine I’m still pretty vulnerable so not sure if OLD is a good idea. But the days of meeting people in pubs and clubs is obviously over. My friends are all settled and wouldn’t be interested in being my wing woman. And no one wants to set up their friend with a widow it appears. Is it OLD with a hardened heart or nothing?

Speed dating?

Is that still a thing? How do you sign up - online?

Yes it’s good fun. Google speed dating in your area and see what comes up. Good luck!

Thanks that’s a good idea, I’ll look up a local event

I imagine I’m still pretty vulnerable so not sure if OLD is a good idea

You don't need a 'hardened heart' to OLD. You need to walk away from anybody that makes you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. Nice high boundaries. If anybody makes you so much as go 'Huh?' with their behaviour, just leave. You won't get any more hurt than the 'Huh?'

Also, what are you doing in life, generally? Could you start up some new interests that involve meeting people? If you go onto Meetup.com, there'll probably be some walks in your area that you could join, off the cuff. Might stop you feeling so lonely, whether you meet a new man or not.