I don't know what to do- friend

[teaandtoastwithmarmite]

Hi there so I have posted a couple of times about dramas with my so called best friend.
In a nutshell she has gone very angry re Covid-vaccines and lockdowns. Also Russia, brexit (pro both) and refused to do a lot of her maid of honour duties for my wedding last year. She even asked me if she had to come to my hen do as she couldn't afford it (night out that's it). She has been quite vile to me over text but I understand it's been a hard time for a lot of people. She basically blames me for everything and is angry with everyone who doubted her 'evidence'. After her last bout of nastiness, which involved a personal attack on my anxiety, which she makes worse with her ghosting and making me read articles and answer questions, I told her to fuck off and let me know when she had stopped being a dick with a 😂 emoji so it didn't sound too harsh. She said 'won't happen' and we haven't spoken since apart from a brief exchange on our group chat and Facebook.
Anyway we have booked a group thing with our other friend like a concert and it so happens I have a few days off work. DH wants to go away on holiday that time but I think if I don't go to it its going to make me look petty. But what if she refuses to give me my ticket anyway. I just don't know what to do. I've been feeling bad about all of this anyway even though I've done nothing to deserve any of it. I just think this might be our chance to sort it out. And I feel bad that she's obviously struggling but doesn't realise it yet. Although after the wedding it just got brushed under the carpet then as well
Thanks if you made it to the end . Been friends 37 years

Stop thinking about her and call it quits Id say. She doesn't even seem to like you or want to be your friend.

Let go of her and the ticket, block her, live your life.

She may be going through a hard time. Or she could just be a nasty person.

If you want to leave the door open your last message already has btw. Maybe don't block her if you want her to be able to reach out.

But definitely believe you aren't getting that ticket.

I would cut my losses and go no contact.

I don't actually think she would not give it me but I can imagine some such drama. Like ' I think it's for the best if I don't go'. We were like sisters up until the last year or so but she has been trying to antagonise me for a while now I look back. It cost me £20 as well.

Thing is our other best friend thought she was crazy too but she doesn't get mad at her. I think because she's a lot tougher than me and will tell her to actually fuck odd she's taking it all out on me and now I've actually bitten she doesn't know what to do.

Go away with your husband. He is where your priorities lie - not with a bitch who can’t be arsed with your wedding!!

Sorry is she pro Russia in terms of the Ukraine invasion? I’d tell her how many children have been raped murdered and kidnapped and then I’d never speak to her again.

I honestly was the least bridezilla you can be as well. I had to get her bridesmaid dress without her there. Ended up paying quite a bit for her alterations. Other best friend had to organise my hen do on her own. She never came to my make up trial as she wouldn't talk to me. I bought her dd a bridesmaid dress as well. Like I said she was arsey about my hen do and was really late and left early. During the wedding reception she left for a couple of hours to take her daughter home and nap with her (contact napping- she was 2 then). My other best friend was seething at her. She pulled it together before the wedding and we agreed to let it go. We went for one meal out but every time we had a nice chat on WhatsApp and a laugh like the old days it would get turned back to read this article or watch this video and if I didn't she would say I'm burying my head in the sand because of my anxiety and why am I complying etc etc. I asked why she doesn't say this to other people and she said because I care about you the most.

She is and when I said I couldn't believe it she said Ukrainian politicians have done just as bad but the media have kept it all to themselves to make the Russians look bad

So basically she wants you to open your mind, and be like fox mulder or scully in the sense of looking at alternative perspectives, and gets offended if you don't study the information ?

Honestly I couldn’t talk to her after that. The Russians are
committingn wide scale war crimes as we type. Absolutely appalling stuff that wont even come out for a while. She’s vile. I wouldn’t waste a second moment on someone who seriously thinks that.

Yes lol. I said to her what do you want me to do about the lockdowns? My dad was in hospital and I couldn't see him (he passed away later) I was trying to wfh and give my dd some kind of support with homeschool and she said I was complying or something. My mum has heart failure so I didn't see her and she was like wouldn't you regret it if she died and you hadn't seen her knowing full well that's what happened with my dad. She loved it when all partygate came out. I cried.

@Perple I know but she makes me doubt myself because she has a degree in animal behaviour she thinks I'm thick and should respect what she says. Our other friend just said oh you know what she's like. I think she is mentally unstable and I really don't mean that nastily. But she says the reason I'm anxious is because I want to move on and not do anything about anything. This was when I said I wanted us to move on and stop talking about Covid.

It tis a pickle, even if you accept some of the possibilities, the situations are bigger than one person, and even if more people believed still does not alter the powers at be, rules etc

@Hawkins001 I said I'm honestly flattered you think I have the power to change it all 😂

I’ve got a Degree in Russian History. Your friend is an idiot. A dangerous idiot. I would not give any credibility to a word she says.

if you suffer from anxiety and are trying to move forward then continuing a relationship with the her is not going to help.

I second the op who says live your life. Some stress is useful but this type isn’t. You’ll be anxious before you go and even if you sort it out it will only be until next time. Instead you could be on holiday with your dp having a wonderful time. I know which I’d choose.

Appreciate these responses. She is the only one I used to be able to text stupid crap to and her me but every time she sent me this kind of thing my heart would sink. What about our other friend though. She is actually closer to me than her and I worry we will fall out if I leave those two to go together

I know it's fictional, but look what fox mulder and scully achieved admittedly they had help, but it was his crusade.

But the pickle with history is that yes it can provide context, but with Machiavelli perspectives and plots etc, and given in sure the public only know a fraction of what's what, etc,

The thing is though that there should be a kind of mutual respect of friends' decisions and beliefs. Not gaslighting into making you doubt yourself. She blames me for everything. And I didn't agree with all of it anyway.

@Perple that's a really cool degree

That I do understand your perspectives, tis unusual aspect of your friends perspectives.

Sorry I don't follow

Some people thrive on confrontation and drama
I had an ex friend who sounds a lot like yours, I ended a 15 year friendship because I just could not be bothered with all of the pussyfooting/second guessing and histrionics that she was projecting onto me
It was the best thing I ever did to be honest