Is it normal to feel like you look after your DH more than he looks after you?

[morescrummythanyummy]

Just little things. I am snowed at work at the moment and working late into the nights, every night. If roles were reversed, I would proactively offer to take the kids out over the weekend so that he could get stuff done and finished earlier. No offer forthcoming from him, I'd always have to ask for this kind of stuff.

Is this normal? Do all husbands need a bit of a prod (my DH would be happy to do it if asked, he is fundamentally a decent bloke, but he does need a prod). I know it isn't a big issue btw, I am a big girl and capable of asking for what I want. It just feels a bit unequal that I need to ask for this type of support whereas he gets it volunteered, so suppose it is a slight gripe and I want to know whether it is a common husband thing.

wishful thinking I’m afraid

otherwise the first time it was all pointed out to them, they’d do a 180

unfortunately they don’t, and continue to ‘not see it’ or ‘just ask me’. A man who does not pull his weight around a house, doesn’t give a shit and does not respect you.

And yeah I do take it personally if someone expects me to be the housekeeper and project manager of life, despite an economy that relies on dual income households for the vast majority of us middle earners

fuck that shit

if you want to basically breastfeed these fuckers and beg them to clean the lime scale off the tap because ‘they don’t see it’- go for it. Not all of us want to settle.

there are men out there who don’t do this shit and I am very grateful to be married to one of them

In my experience yes sadly.

Same here.

I've just started telling dh to do stuff - he doesn't seem to notice shit needs doing for some reason.

Yes, it's called wifework- read the book.

It definitely doesn't have to be that way, even if it's normal to you. DH is very considerate, not overbearing but he gives what I give. Don't make a rod of your own back by letting him carry on, be proactive and ask for help