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Original poster

I walked away from a date

58 replies

Odrama456 · 17/07/2022 20:25

I meet a guy from a dating app and we meet last minute to go for a drink (arranged 3 hours before).

When he arrived I didn’t fancy him or want to be in his company much longer. So when went to get another drink I just legged it’s to a mates.

obviously I’m going to try and big myself up and make excuses like he drank so much so quickly (double whiskey in sun 25 mins) or I didn’t realise he was a smoker (which I didn’t but I think the app went into free mode so that setting was turned of). He also was wearing sunglasses, but the sun wasn’t a concern and It’s part of having a conversation. He also stated he drinks a lot and normally gets drunk in the sun quicker…. For people in their early fourties’ I just found it off putting. His photos were maybe old as I didn’t fancy him in real life.

Anyway, tell me how bad I am and how I can stop it from happening again?

OP posts:
Original poster
Odrama456 · 17/07/2022 20:33

Sorry I didn’t proof read^

Obviously I’m going to try and big myself up and make excuses, but I left a guy I meet after one drink and just stated my sister called and I had to go. I just didn’t want to waste any more time with him.

He arrived late to bar and we were supposed to sit outside. However we had to briefly sit inside and it was so lould - something I find it hard to deal with. We got a table quickly outside and he soon drank his double whisky (I reckon within 25 of him arriving and ordering).

Furthermore I didn’t realise he was a smoker (which I didn’t check before but usually it’s filtered as a hard no, but I had also just gone to free mode). In addition He he was wearing sunglasses, which I found off putting. I too have sensitive eyes but no one else was wearing them and it wasn’t too bring. He also stated he drinks a lot and normally gets drunk in the sun quicker…. For people in their early fourties’ I just found it off putting. His photos were maybe old as I didn’t fancy him in real life.

Anyway, tell me how bad I am and how I can stop it from happening again? I think I’m only going to meet early evening and stress it’s just one drink, have somewhere to go? I usually social media people but that’s a bit hit n miss. I’m also going to lower my upper age limit.

Anything else?

OP posts:
Aubree17 · 17/07/2022 20:35

In future keep first dates short. One drink, a walk or a coffee.

You can then make your excuse and go instead of ditching him which must have been pretty terrible for him.

RedWingBoots · 17/07/2022 20:38

My first dates were always at coffee shops.

Windywuss · 17/07/2022 20:48

What's to worry about? You met. You didn't like him. You made your excuses. You left.

Totally fine.

GCHeretic · 17/07/2022 20:50

Windywuss · 17/07/2022 20:48

What's to worry about? You met. You didn't like him. You made your excuses. You left.

Totally fine.

She didn’t make her excuses, she pretended she was going to the bar and ran away.

WTF475878237NC · 17/07/2022 20:52

Which was it? Sister called? Legged it whilst he went to the bar?

Whadda · 17/07/2022 20:53

By all means, end a date for whatever reason you’d like.

But I don’t get the sunglasses thing. You were outside. Is it not sunny where you are today?

hungupagain · 17/07/2022 20:54

WTF475878237NC · 17/07/2022 20:52

Which was it? Sister called? Legged it whilst he went to the bar?

Yes - which was it?
If you made your excuses and left, then it's not nice but par for the course when OLD.
If you just legged it, then you're not a very nice person at all.

Johnnysgirl · 17/07/2022 20:55

What advice do you need, other than not to treat anyone else so shabbily in future?

CrystalCoco · 17/07/2022 20:55

I'm not sure the second version you posted was any better than the first!?

Junebughustle · 17/07/2022 20:55

That is spectacularly rude, an awful thing to do to someone. I can't imagine how much that knocked his confidence.

Apologise sincerely and try and treat future dates as humans with feelings and dignity.

Lindy2 · 17/07/2022 20:56

It would have been polite to say goodbye rather than just disappear.

You don't need to see him again but to just run off (without a real reason) was rude and immature.

It wasn't a nice thing to do.

Inthesameboatatmo · 17/07/2022 21:00

That's awful op. No excuses you acted awfully he must be feeling pretty shit right now. How would you feel if a guy did that to you

MaxTalk · 17/07/2022 21:00

This is hilarious!! What do you mean, how do you stop it happening again? Err you have a drink and stay for a little while at least then go. You obviously feel bad for doing what you did or wouldn't be posting on here.

Not much to can do - that was quite a shit thing to do to someone but it's in the past now - you should only do this stuff if you can emotionally handle it. If not, stay the date and do the decent thing - it's only a couple of hours of your life..

In this instance, you either go NC or make up what will be a (very) lame excuse.

GCHeretic · 17/07/2022 21:02

I’ve just realized that the OP is the Hyacinth Bouquet from the mental thread about common people looking at her.

OP, despite your inability to get your story straight, I think it’s a fair bet that he’s not upset about what you did.

WhackingPhoenix · 17/07/2022 21:05

You’ve given two different stories? You ran away or you made a polite excuse and left?

Making a polite excuse, fine, we’ve all done it.

I’ve only run away from a date once and that is because I had strong reason to believe he was going to hurt me (bragged about his job at border security and weapons and restraints he had at home, sat himself between me and the door), he went to the toilet and I literally RAN.

GCHeretic · 17/07/2022 21:07

I should probably make a new thread for this, but, apropos of nothing, does anyone else remember that program “The mentalist”?

For some reason it just popped into my head again.

arethereanyleftatall · 17/07/2022 21:09

Eh? Of course you wind it up after just one drink if you don't fancy them. No need to leg it. 'Lovely to meet you but you're not for me, take care'. Very strange behaviour from you.

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 17/07/2022 21:10

How many drinks did you have, OP?!??

Original poster
Odrama456 · 17/07/2022 21:14

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 17/07/2022 21:10

How many drinks did you have, OP?!??

I was still nursing my first drink after arriving at the bar 15 mins before him….

OP posts:
easyday · 17/07/2022 21:15

First scenario you are a bit of a coward to just leg it. Second one is feeble but better.
Do what actually happened?
In future, don't meet up on such short notice without finding out more,
Don't meet up for a drink but make it a coffee.
Get an exit line sorted. But really it's a basic skill to be able to make conversation for an hour with someone you've just met. Have the courtesy to do that, then say 'it was nice to meet you and good luck'. Done.

spotcheck · 17/07/2022 21:18

That was a really awful thing to do

Samedaysameshit · 17/07/2022 21:20

I think you should message him and say you accidentally shit yourself…or something

Original poster
Odrama456 · 17/07/2022 21:21

I messaged him when I left saying my sister called and I had to go.

is that worse or any better than saying to his face I don’t fancy him?

OP posts:
PorpoiseWithPurpose · 17/07/2022 21:21

GCHeretic · 17/07/2022 21:02

I’ve just realized that the OP is the Hyacinth Bouquet from the mental thread about common people looking at her.

OP, despite your inability to get your story straight, I think it’s a fair bet that he’s not upset about what you did.

Well now it all makes sense.

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