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Original poster

I walked away from a date

58 replies

Odrama456 · 17/07/2022 20:25

I meet a guy from a dating app and we meet last minute to go for a drink (arranged 3 hours before).

When he arrived I didn’t fancy him or want to be in his company much longer. So when went to get another drink I just legged it’s to a mates.

obviously I’m going to try and big myself up and make excuses like he drank so much so quickly (double whiskey in sun 25 mins) or I didn’t realise he was a smoker (which I didn’t but I think the app went into free mode so that setting was turned of). He also was wearing sunglasses, but the sun wasn’t a concern and It’s part of having a conversation. He also stated he drinks a lot and normally gets drunk in the sun quicker…. For people in their early fourties’ I just found it off putting. His photos were maybe old as I didn’t fancy him in real life.

Anyway, tell me how bad I am and how I can stop it from happening again?

OP posts:
Original poster
Odrama456 · 17/07/2022 21:22

easyday · 17/07/2022 21:15

First scenario you are a bit of a coward to just leg it. Second one is feeble but better.
Do what actually happened?
In future, don't meet up on such short notice without finding out more,
Don't meet up for a drink but make it a coffee.
Get an exit line sorted. But really it's a basic skill to be able to make conversation for an hour with someone you've just met. Have the courtesy to do that, then say 'it was nice to meet you and good luck'. Done.

Why should someone get an hour of my time? He got 30 mins and in that time he showed me he was a heavy drinker and smoker.

OP posts:
Inthesameboatatmo · 17/07/2022 21:28

What do you mean why should someone get an hour of your time.
It's pretty much a given that dating requires you to give time. If you aren't willing to do that then don't date , it really is that simple .

Samedaysameshit · 17/07/2022 21:29

Ok so seriously ( ish) you make sure you won’t meet anyone who smokes or drinks or wear sunglasses outside….
that should do it

BadNomad · 17/07/2022 21:31

Pay for the advanced features on the dating site then if smoking status is important to you. Stop wasting other people's time.

Joey69 · 17/07/2022 21:37

Why should someone get an hour of my time
by that logic why should anyone give you any hour of their time ?

WTF475878237NC · 17/07/2022 21:40

You don't need to say I don't fancy you. How unnecessarily rude! When he said he was going to get another drink you could have said actually I'll pass I think I'll get going but it was nice to meet you and all the best. Then leave like a respectful adult.

StanleyGreen · 17/07/2022 21:41

You didn't fancy him, so you just fucked off and left. Are you an adult? Is it so hard to say thank you for the date but I'm not feeling it, and then leave....like a decent person?

DatingDinosaur · 17/07/2022 21:42

How would you feel if somebody did that to you OP?

seaUrchinOne · 17/07/2022 21:46

It's the risk you take with OLD, I wouldn't leg it for just not fancying them, I'd stay for the drink and then end the date respectfully.

Honeyroar · 17/07/2022 21:52

Odrama456 · 17/07/2022 21:21

I messaged him when I left saying my sister called and I had to go.

is that worse or any better than saying to his face I don’t fancy him?

Telling him to his face “Lovely to meet you but I don’t think there’s any chemistry here for me, so I’m going to leave. Hope you find someone perfect for you soon” would have been kinder than leaving him standing there feeling stupid and embarrassed. You were rude and you know it.

Branleuse · 17/07/2022 21:59

I think youre overthinking it. You dont even know the guy. It was a first date that was going badly, you owe him nothing. You had a quick drink and told a little white lie to get away. I doubt he will be heartbroken

DatingDinosaur · 17/07/2022 22:04

Branleuse · 17/07/2022 21:59

I think youre overthinking it. You dont even know the guy. It was a first date that was going badly, you owe him nothing. You had a quick drink and told a little white lie to get away. I doubt he will be heartbroken

She didn't. She did a runner mid-date and texted the little white lie later.

Forestgate · 17/07/2022 22:05

Sorry to say OP but You were really quite selfish and extremely horrible .

imagine if that happened to you!

You have no idea what his mental health or confidence is like. This could have been devastating for someone.

It's not hard to make an excuse , even a shit one is a million miles better than what you did

Perhaps you could message to say sorry I vomited , something going around . At least to try and undo some of the damage. No need to meet up again

Annoyedwithmyself · 17/07/2022 22:21

That was extremely rude. He didn't do anything that made it necessary for you to sneak off whilst he was at the bar so why behave as though he did? Just say 'it's been lovely meeting you, thanks for the drink but I think let's call it a night. All the best'. Sending an obvious lie afterwards was even more childish.

Just because someone isn't your type, it doesn't place them beneath basic manners and clarity. Grow up.

layladomino · 17/07/2022 22:39

I messaged him when I left saying my sister called and I had to go.
is that worse or any better than saying to his face I don’t fancy him?

You ask that is if they were your only 2 options.

Or you could have been mature and polite about it. He will know you've made an excuse, and that's really rude. Or of course he might not have liked you either, and could just be relieved!

Just because you don't fancy someone doesn't mean they don't deserve basic courtesy.

Johnnysgirl · 17/07/2022 22:45

Odrama456 · 17/07/2022 21:21

I messaged him when I left saying my sister called and I had to go.

is that worse or any better than saying to his face I don’t fancy him?

Are your social skills really so poor that you can't imagine any middle ground?!Confused
You've clearly inadvertently done the poor bloke a favour in the long run.
Extraordinary way for a grown adult to behave.

GentlemanJay · 17/07/2022 23:24

It's piss poor. You should have just made an excuse then left.

Applecustard35 · 17/07/2022 23:44

You were disrespectful, you should have said you didn’t want another drink and told him you were leaving. You were rude, horrible and what you did was cowardly.

GreyCarpet · 18/07/2022 00:08

He drank a double whiskey within 30 mins and you think he's a heavy drinker?

On the rare occasions I drink spirits, a double would last me 10 mins max if I really tried.

And I rarely drink.

altmember · 18/07/2022 00:50

Branleuse · 17/07/2022 21:59

I think youre overthinking it. You dont even know the guy. It was a first date that was going badly, you owe him nothing. You had a quick drink and told a little white lie to get away. I doubt he will be heartbroken

You owe everyone a bit of common courtesy, unless they give you a reason otherwise. It's free and easy, and doing or not doing so defines who you are.

SpidersAreShitheads · 18/07/2022 04:03

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 17/07/2022 21:21

Well now it all makes sense.

Show quote history

Haha! I didn't realise it was the same OP. Thanks for that @GCHeretic

I agree @PorpoiseWithPurpose. This bonkers thread now makes sense.

OP is absolutely batshit crazy. Anyone in any doubt, go and read her other thread about her ruffian neighbours having the utter BRASS NECK to look at her. It's amazing in all the worst ways.

UserError012345 · 18/07/2022 06:45

*forties

Heatstrokeunsteady · 18/07/2022 07:42

Drunk on first date is a big red flag. He’s going to be drunk/hungover the whole time. It sounds like you are not a drinker. It’s a mismatch. No big deal.

Annoyedwithmyself · 18/07/2022 07:46

Out of interest OP, what did you think people were going to say here? What response did you want/ expect?

Matrons · 18/07/2022 07:56

Unnecessary and rude. You should have been honest. Poor guy....

How would u feel if someone did that to you.

You're old enough to know better

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