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Original poster

Going down on one knee?

92 replies

Corrimony · 17/07/2022 09:04

I’m in love with a man from work.He has recently separated from his partner. I separated from DS’s dad 1yr ago. He comes into my office and goes down on one knee and kisses and hugs me passionately. He has said it feels right, being on his knee. Do you think he is hinting at marriage, or alternatively just that he loves to be on his knees before me and would enjoy being in a sexually submissive encounter (he loves a wide variety of ways of exploring passion!!). Sorry, I’m pretty new to this and clueless!

PS. Being on his knees means he can’t be so easily seen by colleagues through the office window, so maybe I shouldn’t read more into it!

OP posts:
Hurstlandshome · 17/07/2022 10:32

I am crying at some of these replies 😂🤣

Original poster
Corrimony · 17/07/2022 10:34

I truly hope not, but you’ve got me worried. We never act like this when anyone can see us. We are on a big site with lots of outdoor space. Walking outside together we hold hands if no one is very near, although would let go if we got near anyone or into conversation with anyone else. It didn’t feel like this would make anyone uncomfortable, but maybe it does.

OP posts:
Thehop · 17/07/2022 10:35

Your behaviour at work is beyond unprofessional and needs to stop immediately.

LadyLolaRuben · 17/07/2022 10:35

Corrimony · 17/07/2022 10:27

😆I am sitting on my chair, he kneels

That is very unprofessional. If things ended between you, work could become a nightmare to function in. This is your job and your income - a means to live. I surprised a more senior member of staff hasn't given you a warning yet

Original poster
Corrimony · 17/07/2022 10:38

The trouble is being mature all the time for years and years can get so boring it makes me want to scream.

I am seeing what everyone is saying about risking upsetting colleagues and harming my job though.

OP posts:
LadyLolaRuben · 17/07/2022 10:39

Corrimony · 17/07/2022 10:34

I truly hope not, but you’ve got me worried. We never act like this when anyone can see us. We are on a big site with lots of outdoor space. Walking outside together we hold hands if no one is very near, although would let go if we got near anyone or into conversation with anyone else. It didn’t feel like this would make anyone uncomfortable, but maybe it does.

In work you need to behave as though your boss is with you 100% of time. If you're behaving differently when he/she isn't present, you are not behaving appropriately. It only takes one person to be in a bad mood or take offence and report it.

LadyLolaRuben · 17/07/2022 10:40

Corrimony · 17/07/2022 10:38

The trouble is being mature all the time for years and years can get so boring it makes me want to scream.

I am seeing what everyone is saying about risking upsetting colleagues and harming my job though.

Theres 24 hours in a day and you're not in work for all of them. You need to use your personal time. Sounds as though you're so loved up you've lost sight of what is expected and appropriate.

ISaidHeyWhatsGoingOn · 17/07/2022 10:44

LadyLolaRuben · 17/07/2022 10:40

Theres 24 hours in a day and you're not in work for all of them. You need to use your personal time. Sounds as though you're so loved up you've lost sight of what is expected and appropriate.

Show quote history

This. It sounds all to intense and a bit cringe. I would be cautious that his intensity isn't a mask for love bombing. At the very least give yourself a shake and behave at work, no one wants to see it.

ISaidHeyWhatsGoingOn · 17/07/2022 10:45

*too intense.

WaveyHair · 17/07/2022 10:45

I think it is just choosing the right place for these moments and at work is not the place for 'gestures' like these. Awkward, unprofessional and possibly as unromantic as you can get imho.

But this was not the original question - is he thinking of marriage? Who knows, It would be a very quick jump to marriage if he has only recently split from his partner. Why did they split?

ShrillSiren22 · 17/07/2022 10:48

If I had to witness anything like that at work I’d be straight in to HR. Keep it in the bedroom ffs.

Re your original question, God knows. He’s deranged enough to be on his knees snogging you in the office and think that’s normal behaviour so who knows what he thinks about marriage.

Whadda · 17/07/2022 10:49

Are you sure he’s single?

Do you see him outside of work? Have you been to his home?

isthismylifenow · 17/07/2022 10:52

🤔

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 17/07/2022 14:24

Is he Keir Starmer?

layladomino · 17/07/2022 14:52

Mature isn't the same as boring. You can be mature and still have an exciting, satisfying relationship.

What you are currently doing is behaving like teenagers (holding hands at work, kissing and hugging in the office???!!) which is unprofessional, and whatever your colleagues say to your faces they will either laugh behind your backs or find it gross or discuss how unprofessional it is. Grown ups don't need to conduct their relationship in front of other people, and definitely not at work.

With regard to him going down on one knee, I really hope you aren't hoping that he's referring to marriage. He has recently deparated from his partner which means you are a very new relationship. If either or both if you are referring to marriage you are either extremely naive or love-bombing. You barely know each other.

Get to know each other - COMPLETELY outside of the workplace, take your time, and communicate so you know where each other are. And accept this could be a flash in the pan romance that's evaporated in a couple of months' time.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 17/07/2022 15:02

Definitely tone it down at work. Tell him you've got to keep it professional during work hours but you can enjoy making eyes at each other thinking about what you'll be doing later.

Having said that, keep your sensible head on and don't let the fanny gallops take you to a place where you get hurt. Flamboyant gestures are often a feature of rebound flings that are destined to be short lived.

Also sorry to say this but do you know he's definitely separated? Has he moved out etc?

Ontomatopea · 17/07/2022 15:12

Corrimony · 17/07/2022 10:34

I truly hope not, but you’ve got me worried. We never act like this when anyone can see us. We are on a big site with lots of outdoor space. Walking outside together we hold hands if no one is very near, although would let go if we got near anyone or into conversation with anyone else. It didn’t feel like this would make anyone uncomfortable, but maybe it does.

Yeah stop all that. Keep it for outside work. Check if you have a relationships policy that means it needs to be declared. Grow up a bit and stop sneaking around work.

Original poster
Corrimony · 17/07/2022 15:47

Years of growing a part then driving each other mad over lockdown.

OP posts:
easyday · 17/07/2022 16:06

As to your original question him kneeling before you is not a indication of intention to marry or of being submissive. Just that he's a risk taker and enjoys behaving inappropriately.
If he's into submission surely you would know that when you are with each other outside of work?

sammylady37 · 17/07/2022 16:42

Oh dear lord. This is utterly cringeworthy. I guarantee your colleagues find it inappropriate and pathetic.

hayu19 · 17/07/2022 16:44

I would be embarrassed if someone did this in work.

Nothingfallingdowntoday · 17/07/2022 16:54

It’s got faff all to do with marriage but it’s wildly inappropriate for a work place.

Sounds very immature him for doing it and you for continuing to allow it. Also love bombing cringe comes to mind.

I steer away from mumsnet red flags but got tbh this is absolutely strikes of inappropriate boundaries, risks etc

SunnySideDeepDown · 17/07/2022 17:03

Sounds cringy and unprofessional.

Also sounds like a car crash. I mean, he's only just separated from his partner, sounds like he should slow down.

And who knows what he means, we would only be guessing. My advice, if you want to know exactly what he meant, is to ask him.

Original poster
Corrimony · 17/07/2022 17:49

But this is when no one can see. The most they could have seen is holding hands and arm in arm from a distance, which we wouldn’t do if near anyone.

OP posts:
wellhelloitsme · 17/07/2022 17:58

He comes into my office and goes down on one knee and kisses and hugs me passionately.

Honestly? Just both get on with your work in work hours. If you want to hang out on breaks and it isn't against company policy etc then do that.

There's literally no need to be snogging and hugging in your office.

The down on one knee thing is just an extra layer of what feels like a very intense in the immature sense dynamic I'm afraid.

Enjoy it if you really want to go for it, but do so outside of work. That'll help stop you moving at a crazy fast pace or being love bombed / mutually live bombing and a rate that just isn't healthy or sustainable.

And if you're shagging and "in love with" someone you should be comfortable enough to just say to them "when you say xyz what do you mean by it?" without it being a big deal. If you aren't comfortable talking about something so small in the grand scheme then I don't think this is a healthy relationship tbh.