Would this be a red flag / worry for you?

[Shouldishouldnti2]

If you had been chatting to someone who mentioned they had a high sex drive and liked kinky sex, would this ring alarm bells for you? Are they trying to warn you they are not the faithful type?

How early is this? I find people making statements like that about sex unprompted to not be a good sign personally.

They’re trying to see if your sexually on their level. Nothing wrong with that but if your not kinky and don’t want heaps of sex then best discontinue the relationship. It’s not a “red flag” but just them being honest, take it as such and act accordingly depending on whether you want a relationship with someone with the trait they’ve revealed.

This.

Everything else he’s said seems great, he’s polite, seems to have emotional maturity, lifestyle seem to align. So I asked him what flaws he has as he must have some, and he said (amongst other things that were very mediocre):

I do have a very high sex drive and have a little kinky desire inside me

I wouldn't see it as a red flag. He's saying that he likes (a lot of) sex, and something a bit more exciting than missionary.

It's for you to decide if you want to take the relationship any further at this stage. Seeing as you've already got this far into the conversation, my next questions would be 'how frequently and how kinky' as everyone has different measures.

Not if it's along similar lines to your own sex drive. Beware though lots of women post children have a massive drop in their sex drive so make sure you are sure of him before moving forward. As in will he cheat? Only saying as I've read it so many times here.

Not a red flag as such, he’s allowed to tell you what he likes. Would I date him? Probably not as long term partner/ husband material.

You need to ask him what the kink is.

Not a red flag he's just saying what he's into if your not then move on .

Someone I was chatting to on OLD said this. Rather than waste any time taking to him if he was unsuitable I just asked what his kinks were as I enjoy lots of things. He replied “rough sex, threesomes and rimming girls”.

There’s a lot I’d have been interested in, but he picked 3 things that were a huge no for me!! Just ask him.

Hmm I'd need to know more. 'Kinky' could mean a very broad range of things!

I'd see it as a red flag in that I'd be thinking he's looking for a woman to experiment on a tick some things off his porno wishlist. I wouldn't think he'd be wanting a relationship.

Not a red flag, but you need to clarify what he means by high sex drive, and kinky.

I met a guy when dating whose idea of kinky was doggy style, for example…

he's looking for a woman to experiment on a tick some things off his porno wishlist

^ in spaces. Creep. Still alleged OP willing to oblige 🤔

Would be for me.
Especially if he calls himself a ’dom’ etc.
I know we’re not aloud to ’kink shame’, but men who are into ’kinks’ is just a huge red flag and I’d want nothing to do with him/them.

in spades!

But to add, I am glad when they out themselves early on, so I know to block them.

I would wonder if he was a regular porn user, which would bea giant red flag for me

I would say more likely a fuck buddy unless they are wanting an open relationship and sleep with other couples or have threesomes.

If it's like some bondage and dressing up, that's different - but definitely agree with a PP and find what the kink is.

Hard pass. He's grooming you.

Well you could return reply "if I didn't have the same kinks would it bother you?"

Meaning, I am not doing anal every night

Followed by "no means no you understand"

" so if your sex drive is so very high who you been kinking about with recently? Do you get regular STI tests?"

Possibly. It's hard to know if he's trying to impress you that he's exciting and virile (and may severely disappoint you when you discover the reality 🤣) or if he's sounding you out for some really dodgy stuff he's seen online and/or he's into swinging etc. I would proceed with caution either way...

😂