Would this be a red flag / worry for you?

[Shouldishouldnti2]

If you had been chatting to someone who mentioned they had a high sex drive and liked kinky sex, would this ring alarm bells for you? Are they trying to warn you they are not the faithful type?

People are seriously judgemental on here.
For some people sex is really important. I would not want to waste someone's time if they weren't kinky and had a high sex dive.

I bring it up early because if it's not their thing why bother? Having kinks doesn't make someone disgusting. I know people with kinks totally different from mine that don't float my boat but it's not a character flaw. And people have had kinks well before porn.

I bring it up early because if it's not their thing why bother?
Well, he's inserted this into the conversation when asked about a character flaw, not when asked about sexual preferences. This could suggest a number of things 1. That it really is a flaw and he's unfaithful/a sex addict/has some extremely unpleasant kinks 2. He changes the topic about character flaws to talk about sex, which shows what his priority is and that he's not interested in opening up as you might if you were looking for a relationship. 3. He's trying to sound sexy in a really immature way by stating only flaw is that he's into sex (oh, my ONLY flaw is that I'm so good at sex I just can't stop). If the OP had asked about what gets him off then his response would have been fair enough, but she didn't.

And yes, please do report back on what his kinks are, OP!

I asked what his kinks were as that’s really not my thing…he blocked me 😂😂

My 2 pennies is that he's into swingers clubs or group sex of some sorts. When a man feels the need to inform his potential partner (who he's never met) that he's into "kinky sex" you know it's not going to be "within the ordinary".

OH NOOOO!!! You should have omitted the "really not my thing" part! Now we will never know! 😰😭

On the other hand OP I believe you dodged a bullet with this one, he sounds like he was looking more for a sex partner rather than a real relationship. Nothing wrong with liking kink but mentioning it on an initial chat before meeting the person is a red flag.

Kink shaming is my kink.

Looks like he was selfishly looking for a participant to indulge his fantasies then, and when you asserted your own preferences he fucked off. Never mind OP, you did well in spotting something was off.

I wouldn’t worry about cheating. I’d worry that I’d likely end up miserable and pressured to be what I can’t and don’t want to be. So it would be a warning that I’d likely be unhappy in the relationship and not at ease.

Oh! Just read the update. He blocked you? 😆 Well, that’s a bullet dodged!

Plus blocking someone who has always been polite just because he/she doesn't share same preferences is very childish. Same with getting sexual with someone on a first chat before you even met him/her. Man child on the loose. Good riddance.

Looks like he was asking for someone into really kinky stuff! Bullet dodged.

Glad he has gone. Just disrespectful to answer your flaws question with his kinks answer. Love kinks myself but so many men are just into porn, a blindingly boring fetish or group sex - fuck the fuck off

Depends on a few factors

Honestly you’re ok, plenty of women sadly willing to do whatever sexually just to be in a relationship, at least you have standards.

In one sense it's a shame for our amusement that we don't know what he was after @Shouldishouldnti2 .

But on the other hand it might've saved you having to seek out some mind bleach.

Well done.

Total red flag. He's telling you he he doesn't care about you for anything other than sex, he's violent in bed, and he probably won't ask for consent before choking you in bed and whatever other shit he's normalised through too much porn use.

Not a red flag

But if you havent got a high sex drive and your not interested in ‘kinky’ stuff
You prob arent sexually compatible

Bollocks. My sex drive depends on who I’m with. With my XH he would have said I never wanted sex. I didn’t, as it wasn’t great. With XP we did it 2-3 times a day sometimes. How can you say what your sex drive is like without knowing him or what the sex is like?

Same with kinks - they are many and varied, and you may only indulge them with certain people. Your sec life evolves with the relationship. Having your own kinks doesn’t mean you’ll be compatible with his. Without saying what he’s looking for and actually taking the time to get to know someone, he’s not going to find out who is compatible for him.

Bollocks. My sex drive depends on who I’m with.
Completely agree. I've always had a high sex drive with other partners, but barely DTD with my ex because he was such a layabout, abusive piece of shit that he was a complete turn off in the end.

The trash took itself out. Good luck in your quest for a decent guy.

To me a 'flaw' would be, leaving the toilet seat up.

If he's the first one to mention kinky sex as a 'flaw' I would assume he is in to dodgy stuff to be honest.

frozendaisy

🤣
exactly !