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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Biggest asshole alive

116 replies

Staytrue05 · 15/07/2022 01:45

I’m really upset
i posted a week ago about me and my boyfriend

we had a huge massive row and he broke up with me and blocked me from fb etc
always the same old stort
anyway we spoke and we discussed some issues and he said on the week I’ve got my kids he wants to start going out with his friends for a beer etc
and feels like why should I sit in and miss out because u got your kids every other week
he said why should I suffer for your mistake
ok abit harsh words but I accepted it
he said I’m a man I need to go out for beers with my friends
when you have your week without the kids I’ll take u out and won’t leave u at home alone and when u got the kids I’m gonna go out for some beers with my friend
i just accepted it and said ok
since that we’ve been really good
ive seen the old spark return from his side
and it’s been like the honeymoon period all over again
than today I’m still blocked on his fb he never unblocked me since we fighted
and I saw him uploading a story showing off topless
and yes I felt jealous because he has 5k friends loads girls on there
he use to be a player and he use to say I won’t post stories cos so many girls heart my story it’s not fair on u (his words what bitches they are)

anyway I confronted him about it today which went Pete tong
he went mental it’s my fb it’s not your business what I post and who ever is spying for u tell them to f off
he said I don’t care about girls hearting my story
and I said well I do care
and he said it’s my fb shut up
it turnt really nasty
he said I was getting good with u again but u ruin it
u don’t give me my space I don’t know if I want u

i said I accepted u want to go out with mates and things tho I’m not allowed to go out partying with girls cos I’m a women and it’s not the same in his eyes

and I said so I got to accept u showing off to and girls all hearting your story
no I have my limits too I’m not a walk over

he said shut up
i don’t care
its my fb I post what I want
he told me to apologize for ruining his night

i told him once I posted a story of me and my friend after not seeing her for years and u didn’t like it
and had to post stories after to get 1 up on me

he said u was showing off blah blah blah
and I said well least I said sorry and removed it
not like u telling me it’s not my business and being unreasonable

than he said he’s going out if I want to coke for a beer
and of course I do as he says
he was quiet the whole time we was out
as always there’s always girls he been with where ever we go but I turn a blind eye to it

than on the way home he said shall we get a pizza and I said no I want to keep my figure in good shape cos I’m really self conscious about putting weight on I use to suffer with being under weight and I’m still scared to go up but that’s another story

and he turns round and says yes it’s better because your gonna be single soon and u will need that small body for men to fuck u because that’s all there want u for is for your body cos no one will love u like I used to
there just use u

i felt so upset
than he turnt the music up and it was James blunt goodbye my lover
and he was singing to it loud joking grabbing my face saying goodbye asshole and laughing
but I felt so sad like your just taking the piss out of me
and he thinks he’s so clever trying to grab my face saying goodbye asshole
and I snapped I went mental and told him to F off and he said omg u can’t take a joke
i said all u do is make me feel shit about myself

he was saying I’m joking take a joke
omg can’t joke with u now
than was laughing saying u changed me
cos a few months ago I text a male friend I’ve known for years
asking for advice why my boyfriend treats me bad at times
and I deleted the conversation cos I was scared he see me moaning
and than 1 day he bumped into my friend and he told him I text him moaning
which basically caused me a huge headache
man’s my boyfriend can’t get over it
and brings it up every time we argue
says I cheated on him cos I text a friend who’s a man about him n hid the textes
and says I changed him

but it’s ok to have a women round your shop for a coffee who tried to kiss u
oh But that’s ok cos it was at the beginning
or the time I waited for him to come mine before I moved in with him and he stayed out till 8am fucked off his head while I sat up waiting

and once I had a line with his friends I know please don’t bash me for it
but I went in the toilet with his friends who we was with while he was walking my friend to the car to get her bags n get a taxi
yet I still get grilled for that to this day
how dare u go with 2 guys without me
u look a whore
i only known him 3 weeks
but again that’s wrong
but a women coming for a coffee to your shop cos u said ok on the phone after knowing me for 3 weeks n trying to snog u
thats ok

anyway
when we got home today he said I’m only joking
if u get down on your knees and show me how much u love me I’ll forgive
I didn’t want to
but went down for him to keep him happy

im thinking to pack my bags tomorrow and go while he’s at work

i just want reassurance I’m doing the right thing
or does he have points to be angry at me and I am to blame for his behavior

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 15/07/2022 01:53

I couldn't possibly read all of that at this time of night but you both sound like you want different things, and if you're not happy this isn't the relationship for you. I'd suggest you find someone who isn't that arsed about social media, and step back from FB a bit yourself, TBH.

Staytrue05 · 15/07/2022 02:02

I’ve closed mine down after the argument of talking to friends about our relationship
move even changed my number so make friends or no one can bother me again because a few weeks ago a man I use to chat to who I’ve not spoken to in over a year before I was with my boyfriend decided to call me
and I missed the call
and that got blown out of hand
my boyfriend said it was my fault he rang and went mental on me calling me a cheat

but yeh I think your right

OP posts:
Staytrue05 · 15/07/2022 02:03

Excuse all the spelling mistakes it’s auto text
sorry

OP posts:
GCAcademic · 15/07/2022 02:18

Good god. Why, oh why, are you putting up with being treated like this? He sounds like an absolute piece of shit, and you’re grovelling to him? Please, find your self respect and leave the prick.

tolerable · 15/07/2022 03:20

go.pack.go.delete,block.dont look back.please

SpaceGoatFarm · 15/07/2022 03:50

Hes a controlling childish nobhead. When you get riding him you will suddenly find life so much easier and lighter.

'I need to go out and drink more with friends because I'm a man' is the most paradoxical statement I've ever read.

Fraaahnces · 15/07/2022 04:04

He is an abusive prick. Get out while you can. Block him and never look back.

housepilot · 15/07/2022 04:38

I read nothing likeable or attractive about him. I read to you almost agreeing your children were a mistake and couldn't believe you put up with him. The. Came the rest of him. Do you see a future with him?

daisychain01 · 15/07/2022 04:47

Sounds utterly exhausting and a time-sink.

Ask yourself what you get from the relationship and take it from there.

hattie43 · 15/07/2022 04:47

Sometimes I read these threads incredulous at how little self worth some women have . Why would you even be with someone like him .

Tidd · 15/07/2022 05:07

This relationship wasn't meant for you to even be in in the first place. You're with someone who treats you like crap, cheats(even though you don't think so he's cheating on you) most of all you chose someone who doesn't accept your kids and will never. This relationship should have ended on that fact.

Just go and end things permanently.
Don't put up with this.

Your relationship has always been terrible.

Have or find some self respect and decent for you and your kids. Prioritize your children.

Never date someone again who doesn't want kids or won't accept yours.

Leave this relationship.

Stop teaching your children how to be doormats, or teaching them to be like him and that this treatment is okay to recieve an give .

Leave

Gingerkittykat · 15/07/2022 05:13

He is an abuser, you need to get out for the sake of your mental health and you also don't want your children witnessing the way he behaves towards you.

pompomseverywhere · 15/07/2022 05:35

I only read the first quarter of your post. He's not good enough for you and YOUR CHILDREN. Get out now. Protect them and yourself. Honestly don't look back

GreyCarpet · 15/07/2022 05:35

I'd laugh if it weren't so obviously distressing for the person (you) on the receiving end of all of this.

Fuck me, what an absolute loser he is! I'd dump him for the sexist attitude let alone what he's actually doing and saying. I can't possibly imagine what you find attractive about him. All he does is display hugely unattractive qualities!

Yes, leave today, block him and never look back!

Inthesameboatatmo · 15/07/2022 05:38

Block him ,delete him from every aspect of your life. You will be better for it

theyarereallytakingthepissnow · 15/07/2022 05:47

He is AWFUL. Please don't let someone treat you like this.

The social media stuff sounds so draining and frankly silly.

You've got 2 kids. Be on your own and put your energies into yourself, the kids and having a good, positive life.

Christinatheastonishing · 15/07/2022 05:55

It's a bit hard to read but are you living with this thing? With your KIDS who he calls a mistake?

This is honestly so fucked up. Get out! Or if you can't bring yourself to do that, take your kids to their father, your parents, a sibling, someone who will look after them and raise them away from this shitfight they're living in.

Herejustforthisone · 15/07/2022 06:08

Save yourself, but most of all, save your poor fucking children from this absolute cunt.

Don’t be a mug. Have some self respect.

rwalker · 15/07/2022 06:10

You sound about 12 with all the FB blocking and worried that girl will see pictures of him

he’s very clear he wants to go out with his mates and the level of commitment you are going to get off him

it’s never going to end well
unless you want constant drama stop engaging with it and move on

EarringsandLipstick · 15/07/2022 06:53

He is awful.

But you sound utterly immature too.

I couldn't work out if the 'kids' mentioned are yours? If so, please properly end it, and get some help IRL, do better for your children.

TooHotToTangoToo · 15/07/2022 07:21

Leave now!

RubyandPearl · 15/07/2022 07:46

Run away and don't look back. Good luck x

DragonflyNights · 15/07/2022 07:52

I’m sorry he’s been such a bastard but really why on earth did you not have a ‘ewwww’ reaction to this behaviour? He told you to get on your knees and show him you love him? Presumably for a BJ? And you did it?????

Yes you need to pack your bags and leave! You need to care about yourself more, this guy is a headfuck and you are playing along by getting into the drama and immature behaviour. It’s toxic, clearly.

girlmom21 · 15/07/2022 07:58

Get the fuck out of there. He's a cruel, nasty bastard. You and your children deserve so much better.

Staytrue05 · 15/07/2022 09:25

What do you mean he’s cheating on me
where did I write that

OP posts:
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